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DID YOU READ

“L.A. Streetfighters”: a major midnight movie discovery.

“L.A. Streetfighters”: a major midnight movie discovery. (photo)

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Reviewed at the 2010 New York Asian Film Festival.

In the 1990s, “Beverly Hills, 90210” set the standard for actors too old to play high school students, with a cast that included Luke Perry (25-years-old playing 16 at the start of the series) and Gabrielle Carteris (16 going on 30). But they all look like fetuses compared to Jun Chong, the hilariously old geezer who plays a high school student named Young in “L.A. Streetfighters.”

According to the website Video Junkie, Chong was 41 years old when he played, ahem, Young, a whippersnapper with an impossibly demanding — and impossibly drunk — mom. “I can’t be the person my mother wants me to be!” Young protests. “She expects too much!” Yes, she expected her son who looks like her older brother to graduate from high school by the age of 40. The tyrant! Parents just don’t understand.

“L.A. Streetfighters” seems blissfully unaware that it is completely absurd, and that is the very quality that elevates it to the level of great bad art. It’s not simply that it is poorly made — most low-budget martial arts films are poorly made — it’s that “L.A. Streetfighters” is strangely made in ways that go way beyond just casting a guy 25 years too old for his part.

What to make of the scene where Young walks in on a friend showering in a room full of potted plants and give him a banana? What to make of the scene where a hitman on the trail of some stolen money takes time out from beating a dojo full of men to put on a karate demonstration on a punching bag? What to make of the scene shot in slow motion featuring dubbed voices recorded at normal speed? Watching this movie is like seeing the world through the eyes of a delusional psychotic who’s high on peyote.

06242010_streetfight3.jpgThe narrative of the film resembles a Jenga puzzle: identical scenes neatly stacked one atop the other with no attention to which piece goes where. Once a piece has served its purpose, it’s removed from the pile and placed back on the top so it can be used again. Young, his new buddy Tony (Phil Ree) and some of the other street fighters wander into a grocery store where someone is being harassed by a gang and everyone gets into a fight. And so on.

Eventually — because this is apparently how Fairfax High School students earn a little extra pocket change — they start working as hired muscle at clubs. But when the group works security for a drug deal, Young impulsively steals a briefcase full of money, and becomes the target of a citywide manhunt. His excuse? “The money’s dirty! I’ll use it for a good cause!” I guess Young wasn’t out of school getting his driver’s license (or maybe his AARP membership card) on the day they taught the lesson about how two wrongs don’t make a right.

Kudos to the NYAFF programmers for finding and championing this honest-to-so-bad-it’s-goodness gem. This fascinatingly weird movie is a perfect choice to play their Midnights sidebar. It also would make a strong choice at any high school’s Scared Straight program. Be careful, kids. Stay in school too long and you’ll wind up in a movie as bad as this.

“L.A. Streetfighters” plays Saturday, June 26 at midnight at IFC Center in New York City. If you don’t live in the area, “L.A. Streetfighters” is currently available on Netflix and Netflix Watch Instantly.

[Photos: “L.A. Streetfighters,” Action Brothers Productions, 1985]

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Final Countdown

The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…