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Why does it matter who makes “Twilight”?

Why does it matter who makes “Twilight”? (photo)

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According to Lainey Gossip, “Twilight: Eclipse” is up for some reshoots. There are “creative differences” between director David Slade (“Hard Candy,” “30 Days of Night”) over some scenes that need to be reshot if the June deadline is to be met. Let me reiterate: there are “creative differences.” About “Twilight.”

If there’s any franchise that has less need of worrying about “creative differences,” for the life of me I can’t think of it. “Twilight” is one of the most presold brands of the last 10 decades, one that needed no cred behind the camera to succeed. Presumably the reason why Catherine Hardwicke was picked to direct the first “Twilight” because “Thirteen” demonstrated she had a touch with teenagers (sure, whatever) and Chris Weitz did “New Moon” because he, uh, did such a fine job with “The Golden Compass” (and its CG). Presumably David Slade is working on the third because he already made one vampire movie? No clue. They might as well have gotten one of the “Saw” guys.

04142010_lastdays.jpgConsider this: names bandied about the fourth installment include Bill Condon, Sofia Coppola and Gus Van Sant, the most firepower brandished at the series yet. Bill Condon’s name actually makes sense: as the writer of “Gods and Monsters,” he knows genre fare, and directing “Kinsey” and “Dreamgirls” proved he could be a competently anonymous craftsman. Even Van Sant almost makes sense: “Good Will Hunting” and “Finding Forrester” were safely anonymous, and “Elephant” and “Paranoid Park” proved he knows teens. He could certainly usher the young actors through in competently journeyman fashion (though imagining a “Last Days” style rendition with long tracking shots through the woods is amusing — and, if nothing else, we know there’s a lot of woods out there).

But Sofia Coppola? Is it possible to imagine our leading specialist in fragile femininity toning it down and just going through the motions, no matter how big the paycheck? Surely not, but here’s the rub: even if Coppola went her own way and had final cut, the movie would make millions regardless. The Twihard nation is a dedicated one: literate with the books, both Team Edward and Team Jacob will show up no matter what. What Summit Entertainment has on their hands is a chance to make the artiest, most indulgent fourth blockbuster franchise installment in the history of film and not even risk that much on it. The first film dropped 62% in its second weekend; the second dropped 70%. It just doesn’t matter.

Let David Slade make his movie; no one will notice anyway. And then let Van Sant or Condon or Coppola run riot over the fourth film. It’s a rare chance for profitable creative philanthropy.

[Photos: “Twilight,” Summit Entertainment, 2008; “Last Days,” Fine Line Films, 2005.]

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.

Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.


Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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