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Lindsay Lohan and the difference between a movie and music star flame-out.

Lindsay Lohan and the difference between a movie and music star flame-out. (photo)

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Like 3D and the death of criticism, Lindsay Lohan is the column-filling gift that keeps on giving. Yesterday saw two separate articles on La Lohan from The Wrap, and today the AV Club‘s Nathan Rabin examines late-period flops “I Know Who Killed Me” (which is kind of awesome — seriously) and “Chapter 27.”That’s a lot of attention for an actress who hasn’t had a theatrical release in three years.

Much of this coverage is, predictably, a little ghoulish, though what makes it worse is the quasi-paternalistic, first-person direct form of “advice” a few of these columns pride themselves on. “it ist [sic] too late for her to get it together?” asks the sub-hed on the first Wrap column, as if Lohan were the recalcitrant type who’d once turned in her homework on time and was now smoking pot under the bleachers and might not make it into college.

It’s reminiscent of that infamous 2007 letter from producer James G. Robinson chiding Lohan for having “endangered the quality” of “Georgia Rule,” a Garry Marshall movie about an old woman taming a young firebrand’s downward spiral (spare me). At the time, Salon‘s Stephanie Zacharek speculated that Lohan’s behavior might have been “a subliminal, albeit inappropriate, response to this weird, semi-repressive material.”

Lohan’s movies post-2005 have, in fact, repeatedly played off her troubled image. In 2006’s “Just My Luck,” a girl with perfect luck swaps bodies with a guy whose luck is consistently terrible, precipitating a downward spiral through no luck (heh) of her own. In “I Know Who Killed Me” she plays twins that more or less perfectly sum up the Madonna/whore split. So let’s not say that studios didn’t try to take advantage of this for a while.

So what’s the difference between Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan? Certainly not the quality and alarming nature of the freak-outs. The difference is that Spears is still — until she proves otherwise — bankable. Making movies is more complicated (in production, at least) — you have to get insurance, which a particularly wayward star will make impossible.

It’s worth checking out the Lil Wayne doc “The Carter,” which makes it clear that, if it’s in their best financial interests, record companies will stay far away from finding out what their artists are up to in the studio, substance-abuse wise. We expect our music stars to be martyrs to excess for our entertainment — something Salon‘s Brendan O’Neill distastefully but straightforwardedly expressed in an essay five years ago where he scolded British musicians for not taking enough drugs and took Pete Doherty to task for daring to apologize for his drug problems (because apparently that’s not the way to take Tony Blair down?).

Lohan may well be of questionable talent and a trainwreck and so on. But the dogpiling to repeatedly remind us how she’s “blown it” suggests a collective degree of moralizing that has nothing to do with genuine concern — it’s more like everyone in America apparently wants to work for an insurance company. Just imagine what they would have done to Elizabeth Taylor now.

[Photos: “I Know Who Killed Me,” Tristar, 2007. Video: “Georgia Rule,” Universal Pictures, 2007; “The Carter,” Virgil Films & Entertainment, 2009]


Hacked In

Funny or Die Is Taking Over

FOD TV comes to IFC every Saturday night.

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We’ve been fans of Funny or Die since we first met The Landlord. That enduring love makes it more than logical, then, that IFC is totally cool with FOD hijacking the airwaves every Saturday night. Yes, that’s happening.

The appropriately titled FOD TV looks like something pulled from public access television in the nineties. Like lo-fi broken-antenna reception and warped VHS tapes. Equal parts WTF and UHF.

Get ready for characters including The Shirtless Painter, Long-Haired Businessmen, and Pigeon Man. They’re aptly named, but for a better sense of what’s in store, here’s a taste of ASMR with Kelly Whispers:

Watch FOD TV every Saturday night during IFC’s regularly scheduled movies.


Wicked Good

See More Evil

Stan Against Evil Season 1 is on Hulu.

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GIFs via Giphy

Okay, so you missed the entire first season of Stan Against Evil. There’s no shame in that, per se. But here’s the thing: Season 2 is just around the corner and you don’t want to lag behind. After all, Season 1 had some critical character development, not to mention countless plot twists, and a breathless finale cliffhanger that’s been begging for resolution since last fall. It also had this:


The good news is that you can catch up right now on Hulu. Phew. But if you aren’t streaming yet, here’s a basic primer…

Willards Mill Is Evil

Stan spent his whole career as sheriff oblivious to the fact that his town has a nasty curse. Mostly because his recently-deceased wife was secretly killing demons and keeping Stan alive.

Demons Really Want To Kill Stan

The curse on Willards Mill stipulates that damned souls must hunt and kill each and every town sheriff, or “constable.” Oh, and these demons are shockingly creative.


They Also Want To Kill Evie

Why? Because Evie’s a sheriff too, and the curse on Willard’s Mill doesn’t have a “one at a time” clause. Bummer, Evie.

Stan and Evie Must Work Together

Beating the curse will take two, baby, but that’s easier said than done because Stan doesn’t always seem to give a damn. Damn!


Beware of Goats

It goes without saying for anyone who’s seen the show: If you know that ancient evil wants to kill you, be wary of anything that has cloven feet.


Season 2 Is Lurking

Scary new things are slouching towards Willards Mill. An impending darkness descending on Stan, Evie and their cohort – eviler evil, more demony demons, and whatnot. And if Stan wants to survive, he’ll have to get even Stanlier.

Stan Against Evil Season 1 is now streaming right now on Hulu.



Reminders that the ’90s were a thing

"The Place We Live" is available for a Jessie Spano-level binge on Comedy Crib.

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GIFs via Giphy

Unless you stopped paying attention to the world at large in 1989, you are of course aware that the ’90s are having their pop cultural second coming. Nobody is more acutely aware of this than Dara Katz and Betsy Kenney, two comedians who met doing improv comedy and have just made their Comedy Crib debut with the hilarious ’90s TV throwback series, The Place We Live.

IFC: How would you describe “The Place We Live” to a fancy network executive you just met in an elevator?

Dara: It’s everything you loved–or loved to hate—from Melrose Place and 90210 but condensed to five minutes, funny (on purpose) and totally absurd.

IFC: How would you describe “The Place We Live” to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Betsy: “Hey Todd, why don’t you have a sip of water. Also, I think you’ll love The Place We Live because everyone has issues…just like you, Todd.”


IFC: When you were living through the ’90s, did you think it was television’s golden age or the pop culture apocalypse?

Betsy: I wasn’t sure I knew what it was, I just knew I loved it!

Dara: Same. Was just happy that my parents let me watch. But looking back, the ’90s honored The Teen. And for that, it’s the golden age of pop culture. 

IFC: Which ’90s shows did you mine for the series, and why?

Betsy: Melrose and 90210 for the most part. If you watch an episode of either of those shows you’ll see they’re a comedic gold mine. In one single episode, they cover serious crimes, drug problems, sex and working in a law firm and/or gallery, all while being young, hot and skinny.

Dara: And almost any series we were watching in the ’90s, Full House, Saved By the Bell, My So Called Life has very similar themes, archetypes and really stupid-intense drama. We took from a lot of places. 


IFC: How would you describe each of the show’s characters in terms of their ’90s TV stereotype?

Dara: Autumn (Sunita Mani) is the femme fatale. Robin (Dara Katz) is the book worm (because she wears glasses). Candace (Betsy Kenney) is Corey’s twin and gives great advice and has really great hair. Corey (Casey Jost) is the boy next door/popular guy. Candace and Corey’s parents decided to live in a car so the gang can live in their house. 
Lee (Jonathan Braylock) is the jock.

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Dara: Because everyone’s feeling major ’90s nostalgia right now, and this is that, on steroids while also being a totally new, silly thing.

Delight in the whole season of The Place We Live right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib. It’ll take you back in all the right ways.