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DID YOU READ

Clash of the Titans trashes Bubo, spectacular failure.

Clash of the Titans trashes Bubo, spectacular failure. (photo)

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“Clash of the Titans” sits atop the box office with an Easter weekend take of 61.2 million, a record breaker. Yet, apart from the stunning locations like Tenerife in the Canary islands, the film is one colossal, Kraken-sized turd. Nothing more than a vehicle for special effects and hard rock cues with tons of screaming in between hard stares.

I could have you that 4 months ago, and pretty much did, but I was still holding out hope for a couple things – all of which turned out to be false media rumors or outright deceptions by the filmmakers. Let’s take a look at them.

1. UK band Muse was going to work on the score. That was never exactly true, but their singer/songwriter Matt Bellamy was at one point in talks to collaborate on the score. I’m no fan of Muse at all but I thought they could do something more interesting than the douched up metal flatulence that we heard in the trailer. Ultimately it wasn’t to be. Instead we have composers Craig Armstrong (“The Incredible Hulk”) and Ramin Djawadi (“Blade: Trinity,” “Iron Man”) responsible for the music and while it’s not all terrible, taken as a whole, the movie sounds like something unsavory clogged in Hans Zimmer’s toilet.

2. Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, and Danny Huston. They’re technically in the movie (and Ralph Fiennes is great, if a bit too Lord Voldemort) but barely used. Neeson is seems poorly directed as Zeus, well played in his blinding armor on Mount Olympus, but too affable everywhere else – this is a God who wields lighting bolts and rapes virgin princesses for fun. Danny Huston (“Children of Men,” “The Proposition”) is totally extraneous as Poseidon. What a waste.

3. Bubo. It’s clear that director Louis Leterrier disdains smarts in favor of orgasms of testosterone. He directed “The Incredible Hulk” after all. But we were promised the lovable Bubo. He would have been one of the few things to help pace the nonstop action, maybe even bring a bit more attention to something called story. “It’s exciting, it’s thrilling, it’s a little scary and it’s fun but it’s for kids and it’s for adults at the same time. There’s romance, there’s horses… and Bubo,” he told Collider in mid February. It was reported all over that Bubo was in the film by the producers and screenwriters too, that “homage” had to be paid.

That “homage” is nothing more than a crass 5 second jab at the original film and the genius stop-motion effects master Ray Harryhausen. They can’t do Bubo like that! Sadly, these meatheads missed a golden opportunity to bring a modern recreation of that little chirping sidekick to life. He would have improved the soundtrack 10 fold too. Don’t foul your ears and eyes with this poor remake.

Bubo, or No Bubo?

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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