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Casting the supporting bloggers on HBO’s “Tilda.”

Casting the supporting bloggers on HBO’s “Tilda.” (photo)

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Entertainment Weekly reported yesterday that Diane Keaton is close to signing on to play the title role in the upcoming HBO series “Tilda,” a show described by EW as “a half-hour comedy series about a powerful and much-feared Hollywood blogger that is not based on powerful and much-feared Hollywood blogger Nikki Finke.”

The show will probably feature characters from all walks of Hollywood life from studio execs to movie stars; you can practically smell the impending “Entourage” crossover. But if Keaton is not playing Finke, the influential and notorious editor in chief of Deadline.com, series producers Bill Condon (“Dreamgirls,” “Gods and Monsters”) and Cynthia Mort (HBO’s “Tell Me You Love Me”) are definitely going to need actors to not play her competition in the world of L.A. blogging. With Keaton nearly locked down, here are some casting suggestions for the rest of the bunch.

04132010_DavidPolandArtieLange.jpgArtie Lange Not Playing Movie City News‘ David Poland

Lange’s hilarious evisceration of Joe Buck on the live premiere of Buck’s HBO talk show (so you know the network loves him!) is practically an audition tape for this kind of role. Poland is one of Finke’s most vocal and frequent critics — of the 18 stories Poland filed on his Hot Blog since last Tuesday, four mentioned Finke by name. Lange would be a logistical nightmare for the show — he’s still recovering from a suicide attempt last January — and he’d have to lose a bunch of weight for the role, too, but if he could pull himself together for it, he would be absolutely perfect as the guy who simply refuses under any circumstances to be a kiss ass.

04132010_HarveyLevinGarySinise.jpgGary Sinise Not Playing TMZ‘s Harvey Levin

Finke (or not Finke, sorry) isn’t the first blogger to get her own series. Celebrity and entertainment news site TMZ.com has had its own television show since the fall of 2007, hosted by the site’s managing editor Harvey Levin. TMZ is more about tabloid gossip, while Deadline.com is focused on insider business info, but two figures this powerful would make great adversaries for a season-long story arc. We like Gary Sinise for the part: like Levin, host and legal analyst for “The People’s Court,” he knows the New York justice system from “CSI: NY.” Plus, he’s got the right build, the right hairline and we wouldn’t mind hearing his version of Levin scream at Keaton’s character like Lt. Dan screamed at Forrest Gump.

04132010_SharonWaxmanGabriellecarteris.jpgGabrielle Carteris Not Playing The Wrap‘s Sharon Waxman

Some have speculated that the Tilda character will also include elements of former New York Times/Washington Post correspondent and current editor-in-chief of the entertainment news site TheWrap.com, and it might. But even if it does, Tilda’s going to need a competitor, and a Waxmanish figure would fit the bill, especially in a storyline “ripped from the headlines” about her recent and ongoing feud with Newser‘s Michael Wolff over the ethics of web links and content aggregation (Mmm… content aggregation drama — smell the ratings!). As an actress, not only does Gabrielle Carteris resemble Ms. Waxman, she’s got plenty of experience playing the ethically minded, crusading journalist from her time as Andrea Zuckerman on “Beverly Hills, 90210.”

04132010_JeffreyWellsChristopherWalken.jpgChristopher Walken Not Playing Hollywood Elsewhere‘s Jeffrey Wells

In my mind, there’s only one guy to play Hollywood Elsewhere‘s lovably eccentric blogger Jeffrey Wells; the lovably eccentric Christopher Walken. Who else could bring Wells’ prose to life? Who else could speak convincingly about “emotionally vivid cowboy hats”? Who else could decry mildly overweight husbands of movie stars as “food monsters”? Who else could endear himself to us even as he crankily leaves a film festival before the panel he’d been flown out to participate in because he can’t get a decent Wi-Fi signal? Frankly, the idea of Walken as Wells sounds so good, it deserves its own HBO show.

[All photos property of their respective owners and used without permission]

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New Nasty

Whips, Chains and Hand Sanitizer

Turn On The Full Season Of Neurotica At IFC's Comedy Crib

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Jenny Jaffe has a lot going on: She’s writing for Disney’s upcoming Big Hero 6: The Series, developing comedy projects with pals at Devastator Press, and she’s straddling the line between S&M and OCD as the creator and star of the sexyish new series Neurotica, which has just made its debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib. Jenny gave us some extremely intimate insight into what makes Neurotica (safely) sizzle…

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IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon.

IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. You’re great. We should get coffee sometime. I’m not just saying that. I know other people just say that sometimes but I really feel like we’re going to be friends, you know? Here, what’s your number, I’ll call you so you can have my number!

IFC: What’s your comedy origin story?

Jenny: Since I was a kid I’ve dealt with severe OCD and anxiety. Comedy has always been one of the ways I’ve dealt with that. I honestly just want to help make people feel happy for a few minutes at a time.

IFC: What was the genesis of Neurotica?

Jenny: I’m pretty sure it was a title-first situation. I was coming up with ideas to pitch to a production company a million years ago (this isn’t hyperbole; I am VERY old) and just wrote down “Neurotica”; then it just sort of appeared fully formed. “Neurotica? Oh it’s an over-the-top romantic comedy about a Dominatrix with OCD, of course.” And that just happened to hit the buttons of everything I’m fascinated by.

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IFC: How would you describe Ivy?

Jenny: Ivy is everything I love in a comedy character – she’s tenacious, she’s confident, she’s sweet, she’s a big wonderful weirdo.

IFC: How would Ivy’s clientele describe her?

Jenny:  Open-minded, caring, excellent aim.

IFC: Why don’t more small towns have local dungeons?

Jenny: How do you know they don’t?

IFC: What are the pros and cons of joining a chain mega dungeon?

Jenny: You can use any of their locations but you’ll always forget you have a membership and in a year you’ll be like “jeez why won’t they let me just cancel?”

IFC: Mouths are gross! Why is that?

Jenny: If you had never seen a mouth before and I was like “it’s a wet flesh cave with sharp parts that lives in your face”, it would sound like Cronenberg-ian body horror. All body parts are horrifying. I’m kind of rooting for the singularity, I’d feel way better if I was just a consciousness in a cloud.

See the whole season of Neurotica right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

The-Craft

The ’90s Are Back

The '90s live again during IFC's weekend marathon.

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Photo Credit: Everett Digital, Columbia Pictures

We know what you’re thinking: “Why on Earth would anyone want to reanimate the decade that gave us Haddaway, Los Del Rio, and Smash Mouth, not to mention Crystal Pepsi?”

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Thoughts like those are normal. After all, we tend to remember lasting psychological trauma more vividly than fleeting joy. But if you dig deep, you’ll rediscover that the ’90s gave us so much to fondly revisit. Consider the four pillars of true ’90s culture.

Boy Bands

We all pretended to hate them, but watch us come alive at a karaoke bar when “I Want It That Way” comes on. Arguably more influential than Brit Pop and Grunge put together, because hello – Justin Timberlake. He’s a legitimate cultural gem.

Man-Child Movies

Adam Sandler is just behind The Simpsons in terms of his influence on humor. Somehow his man-child schtick didn’t get old until the aughts, and his success in that arena ushered in a wave of other man-child movies from fellow ’90s comedians. RIP Chris Farley (and WTF Rob Schneider).

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Teen Angst

In horror, dramas, comedies, and everything in between: Troubled teens! Getting into trouble! Who couldn’t relate to their First World problems, plaid flannels, and lose grasp of the internet?

Mainstream Nihilism

From the Coen Bros to Fincher to Tarantino, filmmakers on the verge of explosive popularity seemed interested in one thing: mind f*cking their audiences by putting characters in situations (and plot lines) beyond anyone’s control.

Feeling better about that walk down memory lane? Good. Enjoy the revival.

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And revisit some important ’90s classics all this weekend during IFC’s ’90s Marathon. Check out the full schedule here.

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Get Physical

DVDs are the new Vinyl

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available On Disc.

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In this crazy digital age, sometimes all we really want is to reach out and touch something. Maybe that’s why so many of us are still gung-ho about owning stuff on DVD. It’s tangible. It’s real. It’s tech from a bygone era that still feels relevant, yet also kitschy and retro. It’s basically vinyl for people born after 1990.

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Inevitably we all have that friend whose love of the disc is so absolutely repellent that he makes the technology less appealing. “The resolution, man. The colors. You can’t get latitude like that on a download.” Go to hell, Tim.

Yes, Tim sucks, and you don’t want to be like Tim, but maybe he’s onto something and DVD is still the future. Here are some benefits that go beyond touch.

It’s Decor and Decorum

With DVDs and a handsome bookshelf you can show off your great taste in film and television without showing off your search history. Good for first dates, dinner parties, family reunions, etc.

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Forget Public Wifi

Warm up that optical drive. No more awkwardly streaming episodes on shady free wifi!

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Inter-not

Internet service goes down. It happens all the time. It could happen right now. Then what? Without a DVD on hand you’ll be forced to make eye contact with your friends and family. Or worse – conversation.

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Self Defense

You can’t throw a download like a ninja star. Think about it.

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If you’d like to experience the benefits DVD ownership yourself, Portlandia Season 7 is now available on DVD and Blue-Ray.