DID YOU READ

Doug Liman, Woody Allen and Oliver Stone head to Cannes.

Doug Liman, Woody Allen and Oliver Stone head to Cannes. (photo)

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“Fair Game,” Doug Liman’s take on the Valerie Plame incident, will play at Cannes this year in a competition that’s otherwise light on Americans. At least for now — as indieWIRE puts it, festival chief Thierry Fremaux has left the door open for more additions to the line-up, and “Twenty films screened in competition last year, making it likely that four more will be added to that section as the fest approaches. The closing night film has also yet to be unveiled.” So there’s still the possibility that Terrence Malick’s “The Tree of Life” premiere at the festival.

Elsewhere, Woody Allen’s latest will screen out of competition, along with Oliver Stone’s “Wall Street” sequel and opening night film “Robin Hood.” Representing the Amerindies, Gregg Araki’s “Kaboom” plays as a midnight screening, and Lodge Kerrigan’s new film “Rebecca H. (Return to the Dogs)” will screen in the Un Certain Regard sidebar along with Derek Cianfrance’s excellent “Blue Valentine,” fresh from being one of the most beloved films at Sundance.

Other names that leap out include Thai filmmaker Apichatpong Weerasethakul, who contributes a comedy about a man who recalls his past lives from his deathbed; Takeshi Kitano, who returns to the gangster film with “Outrage”; Mike Leigh, with “Another Year”; Jean-Luc Godard, with “Film Socialisme”; new films from Cristi Puiu, Hong Sangsoo and Hideo Nakata; and the fourth feature from actor./director Mathieu Amalric, about American burlesque dancers on tour in France.

04152010_tournee.jpgIN COMPETITION:

“Tournée,” directed by Mathieu Almaric

“Des Hommes et des Dieux,” directed by Xavier Beauvois

“Biutiful,” directed by Alejandro González Iñárritu

“Hors la loi,” directed by Rachid Bouchareb

“Un Homme Qui Crie” (A Screaming Man), directed by Mahamat-Saleh Haroun

“Housemaid,” directed by Im Sangsoo

“Copie Conforme” (The Certified Copy), directed by Abbas Kiarostami

04152010_outrage2.jpg“Outrage,” directed by Takeshi Kitano

“Poetry,” directed by Lee Chang-dong

“Another Year,” directed by Mike Leigh

“Fair Game,” directed by Doug Liman

“You, My Joy,” directed by Sergei Loznitsa

“La Nostra Vita,” directed by Daniele Luchetti

“Utomlyonnye Solntsem 2,” directed by Nikita Mikhalkov

“La Princesse de Monptpensier,” directed by Bertrand Tavernier

“Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives,” directed by Apichatpong Weerasethakul

04152010_talldarkstranger.jpgOUT OF COMPETITION:

“You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger,” directed by Woody Allen

“Tamara Drewe,” directed by Stephen Frears

“Robin Hood,” directed by Ridley Scott (opening night film)

“Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps,” directed by Oliver Stone

MIDNIGHT SCREENINGS:

“Kaboom,” directed by Gregg Araki

“L’Autre Monde” (Blackhole), directed by Gilles Marchand

04152010_abel.jpgSPECIAL SCREENINGS:

“Inside Job,” directed by Charles Ferguson

“Over Your Cities Grass Will Grow,” directed by Sophie Fiennes

“Nostalgia de la Luz” (Nostalgia for the Light), directed by Patricio Guzman

“Draquila: L’Italia Che Trema,” directed by Sabina Guzzanti

“Chantrapas,” directed by Otar Iosseliani

“Abel,” directed by Diego Luna

02032010_bluevalentine.jpgUN CERTAIN REGARD:

“Blue Valentine,” directed by Derek Cianfrance

“O Estranho Caso de Angelica,” (Anjelica), directed by Manouel de Oliveira

“Les Amours Imaginaires” (Heartbeats), directed by Xavier Dolan

“Los Labios,” directed by Ivan Fund and Santiago Loza

“Simon Werner a Disparu…” directed by Fabrice Gobert

“Film Socialisme,” directed by Jean-Luc Godard

“Unter Dir Die Stadt” (The City Below), directed by Christoph Hochhausler

04152010_rebeccah.jpg“Rebecca H. (Return to the Dogs),” directed by Lodge Kerrigan

“Pál Adreinn” (Adrienn Pal), directed by Ágnes Kocsis

“Udaan,” directed by Vikramaditya Motwane

“Marti Dupa Craciun” (Tuesday, After Christmas), directed by Radu Muntean

“Chatroom,” directed by Hideo Nakata

“Aurora,” directed by Cristi Puiu

“Ha Ha Ha,” directed by Hong Sangsoo

“Life Above All,” directed by Oliver Schmitz

“Octubre,” directed by Daniel Vega

“R U There,” directed by David Verbeek

“Rizhao Chongqing” (Chongqing Blues), directed by Xiaoshuai Wang

[Photos: “Fair Game,” River Road Entertainment, 2010; “Tournée,” Les Films du Poisson, 2010; “Outrage,” Bandai, 2010; “You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger,” Sony Pictures Classics, 2010; “Abel,” Canana Films, 2010; “Blue Valentine,” Weinstein Co., 2010; photo from the filming of “Rebecca H. (Return to the Dogs),” Wild Bunch, 2010]

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Forget Oscar

Find Your Spirit Animal

The Spirit Awards are LIVE this Saturday at 2p PT/5p ET.

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In just a few precious days, the greatest, most epic, most star-studded awards ceremony of the year comes to IFC.

And please, we’re definitely not talking about the Oscars. We’re talking about the Spirit Awards. Hosted by iconic comedy duo Nick Kroll and John Mulaney, it’s a relatively under-the-radar awards show with serious cred. And if the past is any indicator, we’re in for a wild night.

If you feel like doing your homework, you can find a full list of nominees and performance excerpts here. It reads like a who’s who of everyone that matters – those larger-than-life personalities with status that borders on mythological. Our celebrity spirit animals, if you will.

This isn’t hyperbole. Literally everyone who takes the stage at the awards show is spirit animal material. Let’s see if we can help you find yours…

Do you

Live in someone else’s shadow despite shining like the sun? Do you inexplicably vandalize your pretty-boy good looks with a sloppy-joe man bun and a repellent pubic-hair beard? Do you think sounding stoned and sounding thoughtful are kinda the same thing?

Congratulations, your spirit animal is Casey Affleck.

He’s the self-canonized patron saint of anyone who’s got the goods but doesn’t give a damn.

Do you

Have mid-length hair and exude a certain feminine masculinity that is universally appealing? Are you drawn to situations that promise little to nothing in the way of grooming or hygiene as a transparently self-conscious attempt to conceal your radiant inner glow? Does that fail miserably?

Way to go, your spirit animal is Viggo Mortensen.

He’s the yoga teacher of actors, in that what should make him super nasty only increases his curb appeal.

Do you

Get zero recognition for work that everyone knows is unrivaled? Do you inspire greatness in others yet get shortchanged when it comes to your own acclaim? Are you a goddam B-52 bomber in an industry of biplanes?

Bingo, your spirit animal is Annette Bening.

What does it take for this artist to win an Oscar? Honestly now, if her performance in 20th Century Women doesn’t earn her every award on the planet, consider it proof that the Universe truly is a cold dark void absent of reason or compassion.

Do you

Walk into a room full of strangers and walk out with a room full of friends? Have you been hiding under the radar just waiting for the right moment to leap out into the spotlight and stay there FOREVER? Do you possess the almost messianic ability to elevate Shia LaBeouf’s on-screen charisma?

You guessed it (or not), your spirit animal is 100% Sasha Lane.

If you haven’t seen American Honey, then you haven’t heard of her. She came out of the blue with a performance both subtle and powerful, and now she’s going to be in all the movies from this moment on. Or she should be, at any rate.

Don’t see your spirit animal there? Worry not. There are many more nominees to choose from, and you can see them all (yes, including Shia LaBeouf) during the Independent Spirit Awards, this Saturday at 2pm PT/5pm ET only on IFC.

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Car Notes

Portlandia Keeps Road Rage In Park

Get a lesson in parking etiquette on a new Portlandia.

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It’s the most American form of cause and effect: Park like a monster, receive a passive-aggressive note.

car notes note

This unofficial rule of the road is critical to keeping the great big wheel of car-related Karma in balance. And naturally, Portlandia’s Kath and Dave have elevated it to an awkward, awkward art form in Car Notes, the Portlandia web series presented by Subaru.

If you’ve somehow missed the memo about Car Notes until now, you can catch up on every installment online, on the IFC app, and on demand. You can even have a little taste right here:

If your interest is piqued – great news for you! A special Car Notes sketch makes an appearance in the latest episode of Portlandia, and you can catch up on it now right here.

Watch all-new Portlandia Thursdays at 10P on IFC.

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Naked and Hungry

Two New Ways to Threeway

IFC's Comedy Crib gets sensual in time for Valentine's Day.

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This week, two scandalous new digital series debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib.
Ménage à Trois invites people to participate in a real-life couple’s fantasy boudoir. And The Filling is Mutual follows two saucy chefs who invite comedians to make food inspired by their routines. Each show crosses some major boundaries in sexy and/or delicious ways, and each are impossible to describe in detail without arousing some awkward physical cravings. Which is why it’s best to hear it directly from the minds behind the madness…

Ménage à Trois

According to Diana Kolsky and Murf Meyer, the two extremely versatile constants in the ever-shifting à trois, “MàT is a sensually psychedelic late night variety show exploring matters of hearts, parts and every goddamn thing in between…PS, any nudes will be 100% tasteful.”

This sexy brainchild includes sketches, music, and props that would put Pee-wee’s Playhouse to shame. But how could this fantastical new twist on the vanilla-sex variety show format have come to be?

“We met in a UCB improv class taught by Chris Gethard. It was clear that we both humped to the beat of our own drum; our souls and tongues intermingled at the bar after class, so we dove in head first.”

Sign me up, but promise to go slow. This tricycle is going to need training wheels.

The Filling is Mutual

Comedians Jen Saunderson and Jenny Zigrino became best friends after meeting in the restroom at the Gotham Comedy Club, which explains their super-comfortable dynamic when cooking with their favorite comedians. “We talk about comedy, sex, menses, the obnoxiousness of Christina Aguilera all while eating food that most would push off their New Year’s resolution.”

The hook of cooking food based off of comedy routines is so perfect and so personal. It made us wonder about what dishes Jen & Jenny would pair with some big name comedy staples, like…

Bill Murray?
“Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to… Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to avoid doing any kind of silly Groundhog Day reference.” 

Bridget Everett?
“Cream Balls… Sea Salt encrusted Chocolate Ganache Covered Ice Cream Ball that melt cream when you bite into them.” 

Nick Kroll & John Mulaney? 
“I’d make George and Gil black and white cookies from scratch and just as we open the oven to put the cookie in we’d prank ’em with an obnoxious amount of tuna!!!”

Carrie Brownstein & Fred Armisen? 
“Definitely a raw cacao “safe word” brownie. Cacao!”

Just perfect.

See both new series in their entirety on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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