DID YOU READ

Doug Liman, Woody Allen and Oliver Stone head to Cannes.

Doug Liman, Woody Allen and Oliver Stone head to Cannes. (photo)

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“Fair Game,” Doug Liman’s take on the Valerie Plame incident, will play at Cannes this year in a competition that’s otherwise light on Americans. At least for now — as indieWIRE puts it, festival chief Thierry Fremaux has left the door open for more additions to the line-up, and “Twenty films screened in competition last year, making it likely that four more will be added to that section as the fest approaches. The closing night film has also yet to be unveiled.” So there’s still the possibility that Terrence Malick’s “The Tree of Life” premiere at the festival.

Elsewhere, Woody Allen’s latest will screen out of competition, along with Oliver Stone’s “Wall Street” sequel and opening night film “Robin Hood.” Representing the Amerindies, Gregg Araki’s “Kaboom” plays as a midnight screening, and Lodge Kerrigan’s new film “Rebecca H. (Return to the Dogs)” will screen in the Un Certain Regard sidebar along with Derek Cianfrance’s excellent “Blue Valentine,” fresh from being one of the most beloved films at Sundance.

Other names that leap out include Thai filmmaker Apichatpong Weerasethakul, who contributes a comedy about a man who recalls his past lives from his deathbed; Takeshi Kitano, who returns to the gangster film with “Outrage”; Mike Leigh, with “Another Year”; Jean-Luc Godard, with “Film Socialisme”; new films from Cristi Puiu, Hong Sangsoo and Hideo Nakata; and the fourth feature from actor./director Mathieu Amalric, about American burlesque dancers on tour in France.

04152010_tournee.jpgIN COMPETITION:

“Tournée,” directed by Mathieu Almaric

“Des Hommes et des Dieux,” directed by Xavier Beauvois

“Biutiful,” directed by Alejandro González Iñárritu

“Hors la loi,” directed by Rachid Bouchareb

“Un Homme Qui Crie” (A Screaming Man), directed by Mahamat-Saleh Haroun

“Housemaid,” directed by Im Sangsoo

“Copie Conforme” (The Certified Copy), directed by Abbas Kiarostami

04152010_outrage2.jpg“Outrage,” directed by Takeshi Kitano

“Poetry,” directed by Lee Chang-dong

“Another Year,” directed by Mike Leigh

“Fair Game,” directed by Doug Liman

“You, My Joy,” directed by Sergei Loznitsa

“La Nostra Vita,” directed by Daniele Luchetti

“Utomlyonnye Solntsem 2,” directed by Nikita Mikhalkov

“La Princesse de Monptpensier,” directed by Bertrand Tavernier

“Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives,” directed by Apichatpong Weerasethakul

04152010_talldarkstranger.jpgOUT OF COMPETITION:

“You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger,” directed by Woody Allen

“Tamara Drewe,” directed by Stephen Frears

“Robin Hood,” directed by Ridley Scott (opening night film)

“Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps,” directed by Oliver Stone

MIDNIGHT SCREENINGS:

“Kaboom,” directed by Gregg Araki

“L’Autre Monde” (Blackhole), directed by Gilles Marchand

04152010_abel.jpgSPECIAL SCREENINGS:

“Inside Job,” directed by Charles Ferguson

“Over Your Cities Grass Will Grow,” directed by Sophie Fiennes

“Nostalgia de la Luz” (Nostalgia for the Light), directed by Patricio Guzman

“Draquila: L’Italia Che Trema,” directed by Sabina Guzzanti

“Chantrapas,” directed by Otar Iosseliani

“Abel,” directed by Diego Luna

02032010_bluevalentine.jpgUN CERTAIN REGARD:

“Blue Valentine,” directed by Derek Cianfrance

“O Estranho Caso de Angelica,” (Anjelica), directed by Manouel de Oliveira

“Les Amours Imaginaires” (Heartbeats), directed by Xavier Dolan

“Los Labios,” directed by Ivan Fund and Santiago Loza

“Simon Werner a Disparu…” directed by Fabrice Gobert

“Film Socialisme,” directed by Jean-Luc Godard

“Unter Dir Die Stadt” (The City Below), directed by Christoph Hochhausler

04152010_rebeccah.jpg“Rebecca H. (Return to the Dogs),” directed by Lodge Kerrigan

“Pál Adreinn” (Adrienn Pal), directed by Ágnes Kocsis

“Udaan,” directed by Vikramaditya Motwane

“Marti Dupa Craciun” (Tuesday, After Christmas), directed by Radu Muntean

“Chatroom,” directed by Hideo Nakata

“Aurora,” directed by Cristi Puiu

“Ha Ha Ha,” directed by Hong Sangsoo

“Life Above All,” directed by Oliver Schmitz

“Octubre,” directed by Daniel Vega

“R U There,” directed by David Verbeek

“Rizhao Chongqing” (Chongqing Blues), directed by Xiaoshuai Wang

[Photos: “Fair Game,” River Road Entertainment, 2010; “Tournée,” Les Films du Poisson, 2010; “Outrage,” Bandai, 2010; “You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger,” Sony Pictures Classics, 2010; “Abel,” Canana Films, 2010; “Blue Valentine,” Weinstein Co., 2010; photo from the filming of “Rebecca H. (Return to the Dogs),” Wild Bunch, 2010]

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Very NSFW

The Brockmire Premiere Is All Truth

Watch The First Episode of Brockmire Right Now for Free

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At long last, the Brockmire pre-premiere has arrived. Which means you can watch it right now—on IFC.com, at Funny Or Die, on IFC’s Apple TV and mobile apps, on Youtube, on Facebook, on the AMC apps, and right here. So grab some headphones and get watching.

No seriously, get headphones.

Because whether he’s giving a play-by-play or ruminating on the world around him, Jim Brockmire calls it like he sees it. And how he sees it is very NSFW. His take on life is actually quite refreshing, even to the point of being profoundly sage. For proof just look at these pearls of unconventional wisdom from the premiere…

Brockmire On The Internet

“If I need porn I just buy a nudie mag, like my father and his father before him.”

Brockmire On Sex-Ed

“Kids, a strap-on is a belt with d— on it that mommies use to f— daddies.”
Brockmire-Strap-On

Brockmire On The Perfect High

“Somewhere between 10 cups of coffee and very low-grade cocaine.”
Brockmire-Perfect-High

Brockmire On The Tardiness of Spring

“Old man winter’s reaching his hand inside your coat to give that thing one more squeeze.”

Brockmire On Keeping Perspective

“I thought I hit rock bottom in a handicap restroom in Bangkok where a Thai lady-boy snorted crank off my johnson while a sunburnt German watched us on the toilet”
Brockmire-grain-salt

Brockmire On Humanity

“If you want to look directly into the gaping maw of oblivion, don’t look up to the heavens. Just look in the mirror.”
Jules-never-seen

See these nuggets and more in the first episode of Brockmire, and see the whole season beginning April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Thank Azaria

Best. Characters. Ever.

Our favorite Hank Azaria characters.

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Hank Azaria may well be the most prolific voice and character actor of our time. The work he’s done for The Simpsons alone has earned him a permanent place in the pop culture zeitgeist. And now he’s bringing another character to the mainstream: a washed-up sports announcer named Jim Brockmire, in the aptly titled new series Brockmire.

We’re looking forward to it. So much so that we want to look backward, too, with a short-but-sweet retrospective of some of Azaria’s important characters. Shall we begin?

Half The Recurring Simpsons Characters

He’s Comic Book Guy. He’s Chief Wiggum. He’s Apu. He’s Cletus. He’s Snake. He’s Superintendent Chalmers. He’s the Sea Captain. He’s Kurt “Can I Borrow A Feeling” Van Houten. He’s Professor Frink. He’s Carl. And he’s many more. But most importantly he’s Moe Szyslak, the staple character Azaria has voiced since his very first audition for The Simpsons.

Oh, and He’s Frank Grimes

For all the regular Simpsons characters Azaria has played over the years, his most brilliant performance may have been a one-off: Frank Grimes, the scrappy bootstrapper who worked tirelessly all his life for honest, incremental, and easily-undermined success. Azaria’s portrayal of this character was nuanced, emotional, and simply magical.

Patches O’Houlihan

Dodgeball is a “sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” as Hank Azaria generously points out in his brief but crucial cameo in Dodgeball. That’s sage wisdom. Try applying his “five D’s” to your life on and off the court and enjoy the results.

Harold Zoid

Of Futurama fame. The crazy uncle of Dr. Zoidberg, Harold Zoid was once a lion (or lobster) of the silver screen until Smell-o-vision forced him into retirement.

Agador

The Birdcage was significant for many reasons, and the comic genius of Hank Azaria’s character “Agador” sits somewhere towards the top of that list. If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.

Gargamel

Nobody else could make a live-action Gargamel possible.

Ed Cochran

From Ray Donovan. Great character, great last name [editorial note: the author of this article may be bias].

Kahmunra, The Thinker, Abe Lincoln

All in the Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, a file that let Azaria flex his voice acting and live-action muscles in one fell swoop.

The Blue Raja

Mystery Men has everything, including a fatal case of Smash Mouth. Azaria’s iconic superhero makes the shortlist of redeemable qualities, though.

Dr. Huff

Huff put Azaria in a leading role, and it was good. So good that there is no good gif of it. Internet? More like Inter-not.

Learn more about Hank Azaria’s newest claim to fame right here, and don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Flame Out

Brockmire and Other Public Implosions

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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There’s less than a month until the Brockmire premiere, and to say we’re excited would be an insulting understatement. It’s not just that it stars Hank Azaria, who can do no wrong (and yes, that’s including Mystery Men, which is only cringeworthy because of Smash Mouth). It’s that the whole backstory of the titular character, Jim Brockmire, is the stuff of legends. A one-time iconic sportscaster who won the hearts of fans and players alike, he fell from grace after an unfortunate personal event triggered a seriously public meltdown. See for yourself in the NSFW Funny or Die digital short that spawned the IFC series:

See? NSFW and spectacularly catastrophic in a way that could almost be real. Which got us thinking: What are some real-life sports fails that have nothing to do with botched athletics and everything to do with going tragically off script? The internet is a dark and dirty place, friends, but these three examples are pretty special and mostly safe for work…

Disgruntled Sports Reporter

His co-anchor went offsides and he called it like he saw it.

Jim Rome vs Jim “Not Chris” Everett

You just don’t heckle a professional athlete when you’re within striking distance. Common sense.

Carl Lewis’s National Anthem

He killed it! As in murdered. It’s dead.

To see more moments just like these, we recommend spending a day in your pajamas combing through the muckiness of the internet. But to see something that’s Brockmire-level funny without having to clear your browser history, check out the sneak peeks and extras here.

Don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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