DID YOU READ

Where the blockbuster bad guys are.

Where the blockbuster bad guys are. (photo)

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Looking forward to summer, the Independent‘s Tim Walker notes that there are three movies on the way “about a group of wronged ex-military dudes on a revenge trip.”

There’s “The A-Team,” Sylvester Stallone’s ’80s-all-stars “The Expendables” (Sly! Dolph! Arnold! Eric Roberts!) and — first out of the gate — April 23’s “The Losers,” a graphic novel adaptation which — as Walker approvingly notes — has for antagonists “a topical mixture of fictional stand-ins for Halliburton, Blackwater and the Bush White House.” Topical? Two years late, but never mind. “Stallone,” Walker clucks, “is still fighting anachronistic battles: ‘Rambo IV’ replaced Vietnam with Burma, now ‘The Expendables’ sees its star exchanging fire with South American dictators, a plot line that belongs in the 1980s.”

Well, I think Burma is very much still worth talking about, but never mind that. Hollywood films are not and never have been noted for their commitment to real-time villains in all the right countries — most of those Cold War movies weren’t exactly politically accurate in their depiction of Soviet no-goodniks, and in the ’90s a lot of bad guys were a random mixture of sinister indeterminately accented Euro-men, the ever-popular neo-Nazis and — most problematically — the generic jihadist. The latter were in some ways the go-to bad guys of the era, peaking with 1998’s “The Siege,” which pleased the American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee not one bit.

03022010_bourne.jpgIn a post-9/11 world, it’s hard to make that cartoonish, and suddenly the complaints about Hollywood stereotyping and demonization carried much more weight. While the idea of a movie meditation on the Bush years being “topical” seems funny, actually engaging with the nuances of Islamic fundamentalism in your average action movie is totally impossible, unless Sly’s going to figure out how to respond to Sunnis and Shi’ites between gunshot blasts. It’s too much of a live wire — one way to explain why the meat-and-potatoes action movie has, at least for the moment, largely ceded ground to so many comic-book and CGI-based spectacles — the villains there don’t have that charge, even allegorically.)

The only movies that have made any kind of serious effort to get their villains to be topical were the Bourne films — at the very least “The Bourne Supremacy,” in which actual Russian oil tycoons were the villains (though you could argue that was meant to trigger subconscious associations of Russian baddies past). The truth is I haven’t seen an action movie with a truly plausible villain according to what’s actually going on in the world in a long time now, and that’s totally fine — creating a politically coherent villain would involve taking up more responsibility than your average blockbuster can bear.

[Photos: “The Losers,” Warner Bros., 2010; “The Bourne Supremacy,” Universal, 2004]

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New Nasty

Whips, Chains and Hand Sanitizer

Turn On The Full Season Of Neurotica At IFC's Comedy Crib

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Jenny Jaffe has a lot going on: She’s writing for Disney’s upcoming Big Hero 6: The Series, developing comedy projects with pals at Devastator Press, and she’s straddling the line between S&M and OCD as the creator and star of the sexyish new series Neurotica, which has just made its debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib. Jenny gave us some extremely intimate insight into what makes Neurotica (safely) sizzle…

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IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. 

IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. You’re great. We should get coffee sometime. I’m not just saying that. I know other people just say that sometimes but I really feel like we’re going to be friends, you know? Here, what’s your number, I’ll call you so you can have my number! 

IFC: What’s your comedy origin story?

Jenny: Since I was a kid I’ve dealt with severe OCD and anxiety. Comedy has always been one of the ways I’ve dealt with that. I honestly just want to help make people feel happy for a few minutes at a time. 

IFC: What was the genesis of Neurotica?

Jenny: I’m pretty sure it was a title-first situation. I was coming up with ideas to pitch to a production company a million years ago (this isn’t hyperbole; I am VERY old) and just wrote down “Neurotica”; then it just sort of appeared fully formed. “Neurotica? Oh it’s an over-the-top romantic comedy about a Dominatrix with OCD, of course.” And that just happened to hit the buttons of everything I’m fascinated by. 

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IFC: How would you describe Ivy?

Jenny: Ivy is everything I love in a comedy character – she’s tenacious, she’s confident, she’s sweet, she’s a big wonderful weirdo. 

IFC: How would Ivy’s clientele describe her?

Jenny:  Open-minded, caring, excellent aim. 

IFC: Why don’t more small towns have local dungeons?

Jenny: How do you know they don’t? 

IFC: What are the pros and cons of joining a chain mega dungeon?

Jenny: You can use any of their locations but you’ll always forget you have a membership and in a year you’ll be like “jeez why won’t they let me just cancel?” 

IFC: Mouths are gross! Why is that?

Jenny: If you had never seen a mouth before and I was like “it’s a wet flesh cave with sharp parts that lives in your face”, it would sound like Cronenberg-ian body horror. All body parts are horrifying. I’m kind of rooting for the singularity, I’d feel way better if I was just a consciousness in a cloud. 

See the whole season of Neurotica right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

The-Craft

The ’90s Are Back

The '90s live again during IFC's weekend marathon.

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Photo Credit: Everett Digital, Columbia Pictures

We know what you’re thinking: “Why on Earth would anyone want to reanimate the decade that gave us Haddaway, Los Del Rio, and Smash Mouth, not to mention Crystal Pepsi?”

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Thoughts like those are normal. After all, we tend to remember lasting psychological trauma more vividly than fleeting joy. But if you dig deep, you’ll rediscover that the ’90s gave us so much to fondly revisit. Consider the four pillars of true ’90s culture.

Boy Bands

We all pretended to hate them, but watch us come alive at a karaoke bar when “I Want It That Way” comes on. Arguably more influential than Brit Pop and Grunge put together, because hello – Justin Timberlake. He’s a legitimate cultural gem.

Man-Child Movies

Adam Sandler is just behind The Simpsons in terms of his influence on humor. Somehow his man-child schtick didn’t get old until the aughts, and his success in that arena ushered in a wave of other man-child movies from fellow ’90s comedians. RIP Chris Farley (and WTF Rob Schneider).

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Teen Angst

In horror, dramas, comedies, and everything in between: Troubled teens! Getting into trouble! Who couldn’t relate to their First World problems, plaid flannels, and lose grasp of the internet?

Mainstream Nihilism

From the Coen Bros to Fincher to Tarantino, filmmakers on the verge of explosive popularity seemed interested in one thing: mind f*cking their audiences by putting characters in situations (and plot lines) beyond anyone’s control.

Feeling better about that walk down memory lane? Good. Enjoy the revival.

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And revisit some important ’90s classics all this weekend during IFC’s ’90s Marathon. Check out the full schedule here.

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Get Physical

DVDs are the new Vinyl

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available On Disc.

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In this crazy digital age, sometimes all we really want is to reach out and touch something. Maybe that’s why so many of us are still gung-ho about owning stuff on DVD. It’s tangible. It’s real. It’s tech from a bygone era that still feels relevant, yet also kitschy and retro. It’s basically vinyl for people born after 1990.

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Inevitably we all have that friend whose love of the disc is so absolutely repellent that he makes the technology less appealing. “The resolution, man. The colors. You can’t get latitude like that on a download.” Go to hell, Tim.

Yes, Tim sucks, and you don’t want to be like Tim, but maybe he’s onto something and DVD is still the future. Here are some benefits that go beyond touch.

It’s Decor and Decorum

With DVDs and a handsome bookshelf you can show off your great taste in film and television without showing off your search history. Good for first dates, dinner parties, family reunions, etc.

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Forget Public Wifi

Warm up that optical drive. No more awkwardly streaming episodes on shady free wifi!

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Inter-not

Internet service goes down. It happens all the time. It could happen right now. Then what? Without a DVD on hand you’ll be forced to make eye contact with your friends and family. Or worse – conversation.

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Self Defense

You can’t throw a download like a ninja star. Think about it.

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If you’d like to experience the benefits DVD ownership yourself, Portlandia Season 7 is now available on DVD and Blue-Ray.