Running Late

Running Late (photo)

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As we wind down to year’s end, we find Michael Haneke’s Cannes conqueror fashionably late to the party, while Paramount waited three years to release the Renée Zellweger horror flick “Case 39″ and a mere half-century later, audiences will finally see the fruits of an unproduced Tennessee Williams screenplay. Throw in a pair of modern Korean films and you’ve got yourself an exciting way to start the new year.

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“Case 39″
We can only hope it’s no reflection of quality that this latest volley from the creepy-kid subgenre sat on the shelf for so long that its director, Christian Alvart, had another project (daffy sci-fi chiller “Pandorum”) wrapped, released and mostly ignored before this domestic thriller even made it to our shores. The German helmer’s English-language debut (at least chronologically) has Renée Zellweger playing a kindly social worker who wrestles away the innocuous looking young Lilith (Jodelle Ferland) from seemingly abusive parents, only to discover that the little angel might not be as benevolent as she appears. Ian McShane, who has yet to transfer his small screen authority to movies, co-stars as a creeped-out child therapist.
Opens wide.

“The Chaser”
A huge hit in its native South Korea, Na Hong-jin’s directorial debut centers on a fallen police officer-turned-pimp who must dust off his detective skills when his prostitutes begin to go missing. Kim Yoon-suk stars as the mack daddy who believes he’s stumbled onto the case of a serial killer, but finds little help from his former colleagues. Although it sounds like the kind of film no American studio would touch, Leonardo DiCaprio is said to be eyeing an American remake for Warner Bros.
Opens in New York.

12282009_teardrop1.jpg“The Loss of a Teardrop Diamond”
For a first-time feature filmmaker, actress-turned-helmer Jodie Markell couldn’t make her debut with a sturdier piece of material than this recently unearthed screenplay of societal scandal and sexual jealousy penned by the iconic playwright Tennessee Williams. Bryce Dallas Howard ruffles some feathers as the decidedly unwelcome wannabe socialite Fisher Willow, who takes Memphis society by storm when she recruits the cash-strapped son of the help (Chris Evans) to be her arm candy for the social season and silently seethes when her business arrangement with her escort becomes something more right as he falls for another. Ann-Margaret and Ellen Burstyn lend their support to this Southern Gothic throwback that’s been kicking around the festival circuit since premiering in Toronto in 2008.
Opens in New York and Los Angeles.

“Old Partner”
A poetic portrait of the companionship between a man and his beast of burden, South Korean helmer Chung Ryoul-Lee’s unashamedly simply documentary charts the twilight year in a four-decade long friendship between Choi, an elderly farmer, and his trusty ox, much to the chagrin of his wife, who views the great hulk as something akin to her husband’s idiot college buddy. As Choi spends an inordinate amount of time feeding and grooming his trusty companion, the missus wonders why her 80-year-old husband continues to sweat out a day’s work with an ox when he could easily diminish his workload with a tractor. In Korean with subtitles.
Opens in New York.

“The White Ribbon”
Perhaps a bit narked that his American remake of “Funny Games” went largely unremarked upon, Michael Haneke returned to Germany to cook up this slow-burning exercise in escalating tension and spiraling incident that finally landed the Palme d’Or that had long eluded him. It says much about his brand of moviemaking that this mostly silent, achingly slow study of a rural German village sliding towards the brink — a parable of how ignorance, apathy and base human nature combined to birth the Nazi movement — is one of his more accessible works. In German with subtitles.
Opens in New York and Los Angeles before expanding into limited release on January 22nd.

[Additional photo: “The Loss of a Teardrop Diamond,” Paladin, 2009]

Star Trek VI

Space Munchies

8 Bizarre Alien Foods From Sci-Fi Movies

Catch the Star Trek movies this month on IFC.

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Some of the best science-fiction movies pose the most important question: what are we going to eat? When humans explore far off planets, it’s inevitable that they will seek out new snacks. Before you catch the Star Trek movies on IFC this month, enjoy this buffet of strange alien foods.

8. Akrennian Beetle Sashimi, Titan A.E.

Titan AE

Titan A.E. reverses the usual science fiction plot by destroying Earth at the start of the movie. Planetarily homeless humans then have to get by however they can, and that includes eating live insects in xeno-cafeterias. Cale Tucker’s simple requests for ketchup, or that the food at least be cooked, fall on deaf alien sensing organs.

7. Klingon Blood Wine, Star Trek franchise



Klingons are what happens when Vikings invent warp drive. Their favorite things are fighting and drinking, and Klingon Blood Wine lets them enjoy both passions simultaneously.

6. Alien Grubs, Enemy Mine

Enemy Mine

20th Century Fox


Aliens just can’t get enough of that delicious insect goodness, and the only thing they enjoy more than biting a thorax in half is offering the other dripping chunk to the nearest disgusted human. Enemy Mine saw Dennis Quaid and an alien bond over roast bug so hard that they ended up having a kid. It’s apparently a more romantic meal than we thought.

5. Kep-mok Blood Ticks, Galaxy Quest

Galaxy Quest



When the Galaxy Quest crew find their fictional starship built by real aliens, they get to enjoy everything they ever acted out on television. Except for poor Doctor Lazarus, who’s saddled with fictional beliefs, an adoring fan, and a big bowl of Kep-mok Blood Ticks.

4. Iguana-Chicken, Stargate




Stargate would spawn an incredibly popular TV series and is one of the few science-fiction franchises to explain why everyone in the galaxy is pretty much “humanoid with bits of stuff on their foreheads.” Another common factor is apparently food. Dr. Daniel Jackson’s professional opinion on a giant xeno-iguana is that it “tastes like chicken” — a sentiment he’d repeat during the rest of the series.

3. Racht, Star Trek franchise




Many aliens seem to insist on eating bugs, but the Klingons are higher-brow (pun intended) than that. A big bowl of “racht” is considered quite tasty, but must be served live and squishy. Any chef silly enough to kill or cook the worms may end up on the receiving end of a bat’leth swipe to the face.

2. Pizza the Hutt, Spaceballs

Pizza the hutt

While also a living, talking character, Pizza the Hutt is the most accidentally horrific food ever filmed. Created as a pun-y joke for Spaceballs, the constantly-dripping Hutt is disturbing enough even before his assistant Vinnie starts eating him. Even Barf finds this pizza disgusting.

1. Humans, Return of the Jedi

Return of the Jedi

Everyone forgets that the Ewoks wanted to eat Han, Luke, and the rest in Return of the Jedi. The cuddly cannibals would go on to become a franchising bonanza, with many kids of the ’80s owning their own toy Ewok Village/”Human Barbecue” playset.

That 70s show

That '70s Facts

10 Things You Didn’t Know About That ’70s Show

Catch That '70s Show Mondays & Tuesdays from 6-11P on IFC.

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Every That ’70s Show fan has a favorite character, favorite episode, or even a favorite “Circle” moment. But how well do you know the show? Check out some interesting facts about the series and the Wisconsin gang.

1. Chuck Norris Almost Played Red Forman

Red That 70s Show

We said everyone has a favorite character, and let’s be honest: it’s Red. And Red almost had the ability to lay out Hyde with a swift roundhouse kick to the head. Chuck Norris was considered for the role of Eric’s dad, but was unavailable due to filming Walker, Texas Ranger, opening the part for Kurtwood Smith’s incomparable portrayal.

2. Mila Kunis lied about her age to get the role of Jackie.

That 70s Show Jackie

Snotty (but surprisingly smart) Jackie propelled Mila Kunis to stardom. She got the part by being perfect for it, and by playing older than she actually was. Auditioning at age 14, she told the producers that “I’ll be 18 on my birthday,” neglecting to mention said birthday was still four years away. Having an actual teenager play a television teenager for once is a nice novelty.

3. The show was almost named after a Who song.

That 70s Show Theme

A ’70s-set sitcom couldn’t help but be defined by music, but That ’70s Show was legally forced into its final name. Early ideas included “Teenage Wasteland” and “The Kids Are Alright,” but pressure from The Who’s lawyers forced the creators to come up with something better. At which point they found that test viewers had already given it the wonderfully self-aware name.

4. “The Circle” was a way to get around censors.

The show’s trademark camera spin was a powerful comedic tool for endless one-liners and honest moments where the characters talked directly to the camera. Most importantly, it allowed the show to make it clear the characters were totally baked while never showing them actually smoking pot.

5. Leo Was Really Arrested For Drug Charges

Leo That 70s Show

Hyde’s drug-inspired boss Leo incarnated the ’70s stoner culture on several levels. Not only was he played by the iconic Tommy Chong, but he disappeared from the series for a while because he was serving a jail sentence for selling drug paraphernalia. It was such a natural chain of events, Tommy was surprised they didn’t write it into the show.

6. You can blame a movie for Blonde Donna.

Blonde Donna

Blonde Donna 2

Donna claimed she dyed her hair blonde after her marriage to Eric was called off. But the truth is Laura Prepon went blonde for the lead role in the 2006 psychological thriller Karla.

7. Topher Grace was discovered in a high school play.

Eric That 70s show

Topher Grace got his start in show business after That ’70s Show creators Bonnie and Terry Turner saw him in their daughter’s high school play. We assume he wasn’t constantly called “dumbass” in the play, but he wowed the Turners just the same.

8. Red really is from the “Craphole” state.

Red That 70s show

Kurtwood Smith is the only actor from Wisconsin, where the show is set. In fact, Red Forman is even more authentically Wisconson-ian, being based on Smith’s stepfather, who passed away shortly before the pilot was filmed. Yes, there actually was a real Red.

9. Josh Meyers was originally going to play Eric after Topher Grace left the show.

Josh meyers that 70s show

Josh Meyers, brother of Seth Meyers, was hired to replace Topher Grace, who’d left the series to fight Spider-Man on the big screen. Eric’s suddenly different appearance was going to be explained by the changing effects of coming back from his trip to Africa as a newly grown man, but the writers eventually ditched this ludicrous idea. Instead we got Randy Pearson, a fusion of Eric’s snarky humor and Kelso’s way with the ladies.

10. Eric’s Vista Cruiser license plate marks the passage of time.

That 70s show license plate

That ’70s Show almost lasted an entire decade with eight seasons, but it only took up four years of fictional time. And you can tell what year each episode takes place in by the license plate at the end of the theme song.

Benders Hockey Fails 1920

Hockey Fails

10 Hockey Fails That Make the Benders Look Like Pros

Catch an all-new Benders Thursday at 10P on IFC.

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Imagine playing soccer in body armor, with a stick, on ice. It’s no surprise hockey players get so angry and beat the crap out of each other. Still, once you make it to the NHL, you’d think they could stay upright. But if these hockey fails are any indication, even the best of the best have their off nights. Check them out below and be sure to catch our favorite hockey team Uncle Chubbys on an all-new Benders Thursday, October 15th, at 10P.

10. Sometimes it feels like you’ve got friends in all the wrong places.

Hockey Fail 3

9. Even getting off the ice can be a headache.

8. Don’t you hate when you forget how to drink on national TV?

National Hockey League

7. Sometimes you forget which side of the goal you’re supposed to protect.

National Hockey League

6. Drinking is hard. Okay?!

National Hockey League

5. It was the stick’s fault!

National Hockey League

4. At least something made it into the goal, right?

National Hockey League

3. When the only thing left to fight is the ice.

National Hockey League

2. Fans aren’t immune to a faceplant either.

Hockey Fail 12

1. Or patriotic singers.

National Hockey League


David Cross in NYC

David Cross Is Coming to NYC’s Live Employee Of The Month Podcast

Todd Margaret returns Jan 7th at 10P on IFC.

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No one would ever accuse Todd Margaret of being a good employee. After being assigned to the London office of Thunder Muscle, he ended up blowing up the entire world. It’s safe to assume that Todd Margaret isn’t going to get a raise after those shenanigans, but David Cross, who plays Todd in the series, just got named Employee of the Month.

The comedian is appearing at the live talk show event on November 20th at NYC’s Joe’s Pub which will be recorded for an accompanying weekly podcast. Cross will be subjecting himself to host Catie Lazarus‘ trademark unorthodox line of questioning about how he created such an awesome career, including With Bob and David, Arrested Development, Todd Margaret and so much more.

David will be appearing alongside Speedy Ortiz frontwoman Sadie Dupuis and actress Greta Gerwig (Frances Ha, Mistress America) who finally managed to escape from Portlandia‘s Women & Women First bookstore.

Get tickets here. and be sure to catch the return of a very, very different Todd when the third season of Todd Margaret premieres January 7th at 10P ET/PT on IFC. Check out the trailer for more.

What’s Employee of the Month? Watch the video below. 

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