“The Little Mermaid” ain’t so great.

“The Little Mermaid” ain’t so great. (photo)

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“The Princess and the Frog” opens nationwide December 11, but hits New York’s Ziegfeld Theatre on Wednesday. It’s a slow, buzz-building rollout for Disney’s much-publicized attempt to resurrect the traditional animation that transformed the company from mere corporation to cultural touchstone.

But is it really a return to tradition? Sure, if by “tradition” you mean Disney movies from “Beauty and the Beast” onwards. The truth is, Walt Disney might not recognize the house he built if he were still alive.

The classic animated features that are mandatory viewing for children (and valuable home-video cash cows), like “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves,” “Dumbo,” and “Cinderella,” had little-to-nothing to do with the standard “be yourself” platitudes that have made so many ’90s Disney flicks turgid and annoying. In the 30-odd-year gap between Walt’s death and “The Little Mermaid”‘s kick-starting of the so-called Disney Renaissance, the studio tried out a lot of things, most of which didn’t work.

There were the legendarily slapdash cheapie kiddie matinee live-action movies of the ’70s (like “The Cat from Outer Space”) and the unsettled ’80s, when the brand was up for grabs and there were expensive animated bombs like “The Black Cauldron” and increasingly adult-themed live-action movies like “Never Cry Wolf.” It was the founding of Touchstone Pictures — an alternate outlet for grown up Disney fare — that really saved the company with hits like “Good Morning Vietnam” and “Down and Out in Beverly Hills.” That was the true Disney renaissance.

11232009_littlemermaid.jpgWhat the new wave of animation did was turn cel-based movies — the kind that once made Salvador Dali call Disney one of the “great American surrealists” — into a babysitting tool for the overparented kids of the ’90s. (I’m speaking from experience here.) “The Little Mermaid” is nowhere as good as its rep — it’s alternately cutesy and tedious — but it set the template for a bunch of movies where, no matter the plot, we’d learn valuable lessons about being ourselves, valuing family, etc.

Only “Aladdin” and “Hercules” really made it out of that box (well, that and the oddity that was “The Hunchback of Notre Dame,” and even that film turned into a lesson about accepting your friendly neighborhood hunchback at the end). “Tarzan” had a song called “Two Worlds, One Family.” And so on.

These days, everyone likes to complain about the latest CGI family movie larded with stupid pop culture references and fart jokes, but there’s a reason “Shrek” was a huge hit when it came out — people were sick and tired of visually stunning touchy-feely lectures. How “The Princess and the Frog” turns out remains to be seen, but it’s got nothing to do with the idea of the “original Disney.”

And don’t even get me started on “High School Musical.”

]Photo: “The Princess and the Frog,” Disney, 2009; “The Little Mermaid,” Disney, 1989]


New Nasty

Whips, Chains and Hand Sanitizer

Turn On The Full Season Of Neurotica At IFC's Comedy Crib

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Jenny Jaffe has a lot going on: She’s writing for Disney’s upcoming Big Hero 6: The Series, developing comedy projects with pals at Devastator Press, and she’s straddling the line between S&M and OCD as the creator and star of the sexyish new series Neurotica, which has just made its debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib. Jenny gave us some extremely intimate insight into what makes Neurotica (safely) sizzle…


IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. 

IFC: How would you describe Neurotica to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Jenny: Neurotica is about a plucky Dominatrix with OCD trying to save her small-town dungeon. You’re great. We should get coffee sometime. I’m not just saying that. I know other people just say that sometimes but I really feel like we’re going to be friends, you know? Here, what’s your number, I’ll call you so you can have my number! 

IFC: What’s your comedy origin story?

Jenny: Since I was a kid I’ve dealt with severe OCD and anxiety. Comedy has always been one of the ways I’ve dealt with that. I honestly just want to help make people feel happy for a few minutes at a time. 

IFC: What was the genesis of Neurotica?

Jenny: I’m pretty sure it was a title-first situation. I was coming up with ideas to pitch to a production company a million years ago (this isn’t hyperbole; I am VERY old) and just wrote down “Neurotica”; then it just sort of appeared fully formed. “Neurotica? Oh it’s an over-the-top romantic comedy about a Dominatrix with OCD, of course.” And that just happened to hit the buttons of everything I’m fascinated by. 


IFC: How would you describe Ivy?

Jenny: Ivy is everything I love in a comedy character – she’s tenacious, she’s confident, she’s sweet, she’s a big wonderful weirdo. 

IFC: How would Ivy’s clientele describe her?

Jenny:  Open-minded, caring, excellent aim. 

IFC: Why don’t more small towns have local dungeons?

Jenny: How do you know they don’t? 

IFC: What are the pros and cons of joining a chain mega dungeon?

Jenny: You can use any of their locations but you’ll always forget you have a membership and in a year you’ll be like “jeez why won’t they let me just cancel?” 

IFC: Mouths are gross! Why is that?

Jenny: If you had never seen a mouth before and I was like “it’s a wet flesh cave with sharp parts that lives in your face”, it would sound like Cronenberg-ian body horror. All body parts are horrifying. I’m kind of rooting for the singularity, I’d feel way better if I was just a consciousness in a cloud. 

See the whole season of Neurotica right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.


The ’90s Are Back

The '90s live again during IFC's weekend marathon.

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Photo Credit: Everett Digital, Columbia Pictures

We know what you’re thinking: “Why on Earth would anyone want to reanimate the decade that gave us Haddaway, Los Del Rio, and Smash Mouth, not to mention Crystal Pepsi?”


Thoughts like those are normal. After all, we tend to remember lasting psychological trauma more vividly than fleeting joy. But if you dig deep, you’ll rediscover that the ’90s gave us so much to fondly revisit. Consider the four pillars of true ’90s culture.

Boy Bands

We all pretended to hate them, but watch us come alive at a karaoke bar when “I Want It That Way” comes on. Arguably more influential than Brit Pop and Grunge put together, because hello – Justin Timberlake. He’s a legitimate cultural gem.

Man-Child Movies

Adam Sandler is just behind The Simpsons in terms of his influence on humor. Somehow his man-child schtick didn’t get old until the aughts, and his success in that arena ushered in a wave of other man-child movies from fellow ’90s comedians. RIP Chris Farley (and WTF Rob Schneider).



Teen Angst

In horror, dramas, comedies, and everything in between: Troubled teens! Getting into trouble! Who couldn’t relate to their First World problems, plaid flannels, and lose grasp of the internet?

Mainstream Nihilism

From the Coen Bros to Fincher to Tarantino, filmmakers on the verge of explosive popularity seemed interested in one thing: mind f*cking their audiences by putting characters in situations (and plot lines) beyond anyone’s control.

Feeling better about that walk down memory lane? Good. Enjoy the revival.


And revisit some important ’90s classics all this weekend during IFC’s ’90s Marathon. Check out the full schedule here.


Get Physical

DVDs are the new Vinyl

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available On Disc.

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GIFs via Giffy

In this crazy digital age, sometimes all we really want is to reach out and touch something. Maybe that’s why so many of us are still gung-ho about owning stuff on DVD. It’s tangible. It’s real. It’s tech from a bygone era that still feels relevant, yet also kitschy and retro. It’s basically vinyl for people born after 1990.


Inevitably we all have that friend whose love of the disc is so absolutely repellent that he makes the technology less appealing. “The resolution, man. The colors. You can’t get latitude like that on a download.” Go to hell, Tim.

Yes, Tim sucks, and you don’t want to be like Tim, but maybe he’s onto something and DVD is still the future. Here are some benefits that go beyond touch.

It’s Decor and Decorum

With DVDs and a handsome bookshelf you can show off your great taste in film and television without showing off your search history. Good for first dates, dinner parties, family reunions, etc.


Forget Public Wifi

Warm up that optical drive. No more awkwardly streaming episodes on shady free wifi!



Internet service goes down. It happens all the time. It could happen right now. Then what? Without a DVD on hand you’ll be forced to make eye contact with your friends and family. Or worse – conversation.


Self Defense

You can’t throw a download like a ninja star. Think about it.


If you’d like to experience the benefits DVD ownership yourself, Portlandia Season 7 is now available on DVD and Blue-Ray.