DID YOU READ

(Almost) Everybody Loves Chris Rock

(Almost) Everybody Loves Chris Rock (photo)

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When Chris Rock’s young daughter asked him one day why she didn’t have “good hair,” the comedian extraordinaire began thinking about the issues surrounding African-American women and their tresses — or rather, their painstakingly and expensively straightened or even artificial hair. Directed by Rock’s Emmy-winning collaborator Jeff Stilson (“The Chris Rock Show”), the hilarious and occasionally horrifying new doc “Good Hair” investigates beauty salon culture and the lengths black women go to for the sake of self-esteem and societal pressures.

Rock himself acts as our guide, interviewing scientists about the toxicity of sodium hydroxide relaxers, schoolteachers and other working-class people who overspend on weaves (hair that comes from heads in India, another stop on Rock’s journey), and celebrities like Ice-T, Maya Angelou and the man who modeled his mane after his buddy James Brown’s: Reverend Al Sharpton. Framing the whole investigation is a stop in Atlanta for the Bronner Bros. Hair Show, an annual trade industry event whose headline attraction is a wild, avant-coiffure showdown between the top stylists of black hair. I sat down with Rock and his small entourage (his make-up woman was applying powder that can’t be appreciated here!) to talk ‘dos, don’ts and the $5 million lawsuit against the movie that was reported mere hours before our chat.

Are you tired of talking about yourself today?

You know what, doing press for this movie isn’t that bad because it’s not talking about me that much. The topic’s actually bigger than me. Even the stuff I’m in, it’s just me, so it’s not like I have to make up this bullshit talk about a character: “What would the character do?” [laughs]

Then let’s talk “Good Hair.” You’ve obviously been familiar with African-American hair your whole life, so what specifically did you learn from this project?

What did I learn? The money aspect of it, especially when you’re talking about someone without money, how much they spend on their hair was mind-boggling. You know that relaxer burns, but you didn’t know it could eat through a can. Little stuff like that.

The film could be called an exposé. What do you hope audiences will take from this?

Art, to me, is a break from reality. I never looked at art as changing reality, [unless there’s] an accumulative effect. If there were nine of these movies, I guess it might change something, but I don’t know. What I look for is for people to laugh and have a good time, and hopefully, they’ll remember the last time they laughed at me. “Hey, I laughed at him before! This guy really makes me laugh.” This is what I hope to achieve. [laughs]

10082009_chrisrock4.jpgIt is funny when you point out the ridiculousness, but you also bring up significant issues since many people will spend their last dollar to not have “bad hair.” Could that be considered an addiction?

I think the whole country has an addiction, spending beyond their means. That’s quite evident by what’s been going on the last few years, with this housing stuff and what-not. Hair is not exempt from that. You could do an exposé on TVs and the amount sold to people that couldn’t afford them last year. Did you need the flat screen? Americans have an addiction of too much anything, and hair is just one of those things.

You still point to the possibility of a cultural reversal. In the ’70s, Pam Grier made natural hair cool and sexy, but now celebrities like Beyoncé have their fashion product deals, which perpetuate the problem. Would it take role models like her going natural to create a sea change?

Halle Berry was pretty natural, and that didn’t seem to affect anything. I don’t know, things are just a style. Natural will be back, because everything comes back. It’s just not coming back right now. I keep saying this movie will end weaves and relaxers like “We Are the World” ended world hunger. You make an attempt.

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Forget Oscar

Find Your Spirit Animal

The Spirit Awards are LIVE this Saturday at 2p PT/5p ET.

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In just a few precious days, the greatest, most epic, most star-studded awards ceremony of the year comes to IFC.

And please, we’re definitely not talking about the Oscars. We’re talking about the Spirit Awards. Hosted by iconic comedy duo Nick Kroll and John Mulaney, it’s a relatively under-the-radar awards show with serious cred. And if the past is any indicator, we’re in for a wild night.

If you feel like doing your homework, you can find a full list of nominees and performance excerpts here. It reads like a who’s who of everyone that matters – those larger-than-life personalities with status that borders on mythological. Our celebrity spirit animals, if you will.

This isn’t hyperbole. Literally everyone who takes the stage at the awards show is spirit animal material. Let’s see if we can help you find yours…

Do you

Live in someone else’s shadow despite shining like the sun? Do you inexplicably vandalize your pretty-boy good looks with a sloppy-joe man bun and a repellent pubic-hair beard? Do you think sounding stoned and sounding thoughtful are kinda the same thing?

Congratulations, your spirit animal is Casey Affleck.

He’s the self-canonized patron saint of anyone who’s got the goods but doesn’t give a damn.

Do you

Have mid-length hair and exude a certain feminine masculinity that is universally appealing? Are you drawn to situations that promise little to nothing in the way of grooming or hygiene as a transparently self-conscious attempt to conceal your radiant inner glow? Does that fail miserably?

Way to go, your spirit animal is Viggo Mortensen.

He’s the yoga teacher of actors, in that what should make him super nasty only increases his curb appeal.

Do you

Get zero recognition for work that everyone knows is unrivaled? Do you inspire greatness in others yet get shortchanged when it comes to your own acclaim? Are you a goddam B-52 bomber in an industry of biplanes?

Bingo, your spirit animal is Annette Bening.

What does it take for this artist to win an Oscar? Honestly now, if her performance in 20th Century Women doesn’t earn her every award on the planet, consider it proof that the Universe truly is a cold dark void absent of reason or compassion.

Do you

Walk into a room full of strangers and walk out with a room full of friends? Have you been hiding under the radar just waiting for the right moment to leap out into the spotlight and stay there FOREVER? Do you possess the almost messianic ability to elevate Shia LaBeouf’s on-screen charisma?

You guessed it (or not), your spirit animal is 100% Sasha Lane.

If you haven’t seen American Honey, then you haven’t heard of her. She came out of the blue with a performance both subtle and powerful, and now she’s going to be in all the movies from this moment on. Or she should be, at any rate.

Don’t see your spirit animal there? Worry not. There are many more nominees to choose from, and you can see them all (yes, including Shia LaBeouf) during the Independent Spirit Awards, this Saturday at 2pm PT/5pm ET only on IFC.

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Car Notes

Portlandia Keeps Road Rage In Park

Get a lesson in parking etiquette on a new Portlandia.

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It’s the most American form of cause and effect: Park like a monster, receive a passive-aggressive note.

car notes note

This unofficial rule of the road is critical to keeping the great big wheel of car-related Karma in balance. And naturally, Portlandia’s Kath and Dave have elevated it to an awkward, awkward art form in Car Notes, the Portlandia web series presented by Subaru.

If you’ve somehow missed the memo about Car Notes until now, you can catch up on every installment online, on the IFC app, and on demand. You can even have a little taste right here:

If your interest is piqued – great news for you! A special Car Notes sketch makes an appearance in the latest episode of Portlandia, and you can catch up on it now right here.

Watch all-new Portlandia Thursdays at 10P on IFC.

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Naked and Hungry

Two New Ways to Threeway

IFC's Comedy Crib gets sensual in time for Valentine's Day.

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This week, two scandalous new digital series debut on IFC’s Comedy Crib.
Ménage à Trois invites people to participate in a real-life couple’s fantasy boudoir. And The Filling is Mutual follows two saucy chefs who invite comedians to make food inspired by their routines. Each show crosses some major boundaries in sexy and/or delicious ways, and each are impossible to describe in detail without arousing some awkward physical cravings. Which is why it’s best to hear it directly from the minds behind the madness…

Ménage à Trois

According to Diana Kolsky and Murf Meyer, the two extremely versatile constants in the ever-shifting à trois, “MàT is a sensually psychedelic late night variety show exploring matters of hearts, parts and every goddamn thing in between…PS, any nudes will be 100% tasteful.”

This sexy brainchild includes sketches, music, and props that would put Pee-wee’s Playhouse to shame. But how could this fantastical new twist on the vanilla-sex variety show format have come to be?

“We met in a UCB improv class taught by Chris Gethard. It was clear that we both humped to the beat of our own drum; our souls and tongues intermingled at the bar after class, so we dove in head first.”

Sign me up, but promise to go slow. This tricycle is going to need training wheels.

The Filling is Mutual

Comedians Jen Saunderson and Jenny Zigrino became best friends after meeting in the restroom at the Gotham Comedy Club, which explains their super-comfortable dynamic when cooking with their favorite comedians. “We talk about comedy, sex, menses, the obnoxiousness of Christina Aguilera all while eating food that most would push off their New Year’s resolution.”

The hook of cooking food based off of comedy routines is so perfect and so personal. It made us wonder about what dishes Jen & Jenny would pair with some big name comedy staples, like…

Bill Murray?
“Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to… Oh, that’s easy Meatballs with Lingonberry Space Jam it’d be great, but then we’d have to avoid doing any kind of silly Groundhog Day reference.” 

Bridget Everett?
“Cream Balls… Sea Salt encrusted Chocolate Ganache Covered Ice Cream Ball that melt cream when you bite into them.” 

Nick Kroll & John Mulaney? 
“I’d make George and Gil black and white cookies from scratch and just as we open the oven to put the cookie in we’d prank ’em with an obnoxious amount of tuna!!!”

Carrie Brownstein & Fred Armisen? 
“Definitely a raw cacao “safe word” brownie. Cacao!”

Just perfect.

See both new series in their entirety on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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