DID YOU READ

Werner Herzog and Abel Ferrara want to know who’s “Bad.”

Werner Herzog and Abel Ferrara want to know who’s “Bad.” (photo)

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So the long-awaited “Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans” — the Werner Herzog movie whose absurdist trailer has been an Internet favorite for months now — is finally dropping at the Venice and Telluride festivals and, predictably, people are generally underwhelmed. This is what happens when people more familiar with Herzog’s reputation than his frequently uneven work get something less consistently outrageous than they expected and — okay, maybe it’s not all that. (Though I doubt it.)

As a result, the media narrative is shifting back one last time to the Herzog-Abel Ferrara feud. You know the deal: Ferrara is angry about the remake of his 1992 crime story, the disrespect shown to his creative labors and — most importantly — that he didn’t get paid very much for the rights and had no say in it. Herzog, for his part, thought it was hilarious and claimed never to have seen the original film or even know who Ferrara is, comparing him to Don Quixote. And now Ferrara and Herzog are together at Venice together, and Herzog is, for once, erring on the side of restraint: “I hope that he will see my film while he is here,” he announced yesterday. (And apparently he knows something of Ferrara’s reputation, since he suggested sorting it out over whiskey.)

Let’s just say this story is stupid and leave it at that. I’m not really surprised that when it’s time to go potentially mano-a-mano, Herzog wants to make things right; he’s not lacking in bravery (and, in an unlikely fight, our money would be on the robust Herzog over the, uh, erratic Ferrara), but he doesn’t seem mean-spirited. And continually using Ferrara as grist for easy press-pleasing quotes just seems rude. The truth is that Ferrara probably wouldn’t care at all if he’d: a) been paid however much he believes he was deserved to be paid (which would never happen) or b) Herzog hadn’t, conversely, made much more than Ferrara did for the first film. (So Ferrara claims anyway.)

But the other thing is, Ferrara has to be wondering why Herzog still has a financially viable career and he doesn’t. Ferrara played by the rules: when there was a market for movies that were arty as long as they were exploitation-y, he made “Ms .45.” When it seemed like a good idea to do a big-budget studio movie, he made “Body Snatchers.” In a time when every movie sells easier if it has a “name,” he roped in Willem Dafoe and Bob Hoskins to star in “Go Go Tales” and still can’t get distribution. Meanwhile, the patently wacky, often unsummarizable Herzog makes one movie a year, except for when he skips a year and then puts out two. Where’s the justice? Play by the rules, get screwed; follow a muse literally no one else fully understands, and voila! — success. I can’t answer it, but I suspect there’s more behind Ferrara’s grumblings than simple proprietary pride.

[Harvey Keitel in “Bad Lieutenant,” Bad Lieutenant Productions, 1992]

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Thank Azaria

Best. Characters. Ever.

Our favorite Hank Azaria characters.

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GIFs via Giphy

Hank Azaria may well be the most prolific voice and character actor of our time. The work he’s done for The Simpsons alone has earned him a permanent place in the pop culture zeitgeist. And now he’s bringing another character to the mainstream: a washed-up sports announcer named Jim Brockmire, in the aptly titled new series Brockmire.

We’re looking forward to it. So much so that we want to look backward, too, with a short-but-sweet retrospective of some of Azaria’s important characters. Shall we begin?

Half The Recurring Simpsons Characters

He’s Comic Book Guy. He’s Chief Wiggum. He’s Apu. He’s Cletus. He’s Snake. He’s Superintendent Chalmers. He’s the Sea Captain. He’s Kurt “Can I Borrow A Feeling” Van Houten. He’s Professor Frink. He’s Carl. And he’s many more. But most importantly he’s Moe Szyslak, the staple character Azaria has voiced since his very first audition for The Simpsons.

Oh, and He’s Frank Grimes

For all the regular Simpsons characters Azaria has played over the years, his most brilliant performance may have been a one-off: Frank Grimes, the scrappy bootstrapper who worked tirelessly all his life for honest, incremental, and easily-undermined success. Azaria’s portrayal of this character was nuanced, emotional, and simply magical.

Patches O’Houlihan

Dodgeball is a “sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” as Hank Azaria generously points out in his brief but crucial cameo in Dodgeball. That’s sage wisdom. Try applying his “five D’s” to your life on and off the court and enjoy the results.

Harold Zoid

Of Futurama fame. The crazy uncle of Dr. Zoidberg, Harold Zoid was once a lion (or lobster) of the silver screen until Smell-o-vision forced him into retirement.

Agador

The Birdcage was significant for many reasons, and the comic genius of Hank Azaria’s character “Agador” sits somewhere towards the top of that list. If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.

Gargamel

Nobody else could make a live-action Gargamel possible.

Ed Cochran

From Ray Donovan. Great character, great last name [editorial note: the author of this article may be bias].

Kahmunra, The Thinker, Abe Lincoln

All in the Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, a file that let Azaria flex his voice acting and live-action muscles in one fell swoop.

The Blue Raja

Mystery Men has everything, including a fatal case of Smash Mouth. Azaria’s iconic superhero makes the shortlist of redeemable qualities, though.

Dr. Huff

Huff put Azaria in a leading role, and it was good. So good that there is no good gif of it. Internet? More like Inter-not.

Learn more about Hank Azaria’s newest claim to fame right here, and don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Flame Out

Brockmire and Other Public Implosions

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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There’s less than a month until the Brockmire premiere, and to say we’re excited would be an insulting understatement. It’s not just that it stars Hank Azaria, who can do no wrong (and yes, that’s including Mystery Men, which is only cringeworthy because of Smash Mouth). It’s that the whole backstory of the titular character, Jim Brockmire, is the stuff of legends. A one-time iconic sportscaster who won the hearts of fans and players alike, he fell from grace after an unfortunate personal event triggered a seriously public meltdown. See for yourself in the NSFW Funny or Die digital short that spawned the IFC series:

See? NSFW and spectacularly catastrophic in a way that could almost be real. Which got us thinking: What are some real-life sports fails that have nothing to do with botched athletics and everything to do with going tragically off script? The internet is a dark and dirty place, friends, but these three examples are pretty special and mostly safe for work…

Disgruntled Sports Reporter

His co-anchor went offsides and he called it like he saw it.

Jim Rome vs Jim “Not Chris” Everett

You just don’t heckle a professional athlete when you’re within striking distance. Common sense.

Carl Lewis’s National Anthem

He killed it! As in murdered. It’s dead.

To see more moments just like these, we recommend spending a day in your pajamas combing through the muckiness of the internet. But to see something that’s Brockmire-level funny without having to clear your browser history, check out the sneak peeks and extras here.

Don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Mirror, Mirror

Portlandia Season 7 In Hindsight

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available Online and on the IFC App.

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Another season of Portlandia is behind us, and oh what a season it was. We laughed. We cried. And we chuckled uncomfortably while glancing nervously around the room. Like every season before it, the latest Portlandia has held a mirror up to ridiculousness of modern American life, but more than ever that same mirror has reflected our social reality in ways that are at once hysterical and sneakily thought-provoking. Here are just a few of the issues they tackled:

Nationalism

So long, America, Portland is out! And yes, the idea of Portland seceding is still less ludicrous than building a wall.

Men’s Rights

We all saw this coming. Exit gracefully, dudes.

Protests

Whatever you stand for, stand for it together. Or with at least one other person.

Free Love

No matter who we are or how we love, deep down we all have the ability to get stalky.

Social Status

Modern self-esteem basically hinges on likes, so this isn’t really a stretch at all.

These moments are just the tip of the iceberg, and much more can be found in the full seventh season of #Portlandia, available right now #online and on the #IFC app.

via GIPHY

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