DID YOU READ

Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!, The Movie

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Even though a Mike Tyson documentary, Tyson, was just released last week, and Jamie Foxx is currently promoting his film, The Soloist, there is already talk of the multi-faceted actor portraying Iron Mike in an upcoming biopic.

P{unch OUt copy.jpg
Apparently Tyson has even made public that he would love to have Foxx play him in a film about his life story.

When we say the “multi-faceted” Jamie Foxx, we’re not kidding around, because he is also promoting his most recent album, Intuition, which boasts the club hit, “Blame It.”

With all this talk of Foxx getting into the mindset of Mike Tyson, I’m thinking film writers and producers should skip the Tyson saga we’ve heard a million times before–especially all the drama surrounding Robin Givens, Buster Douglas, Don King, and Evander Holyfield–and make a movie about one of the greatest video games of all-time: Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!

If Foxx can weave in and out of movies and music, who’s to say our favorite musicians can’t do the same, huh?

So here’s a list of artists that should be in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!, The Movie:

1. Britt Daniel (Spoon) as Glass Joe
I’m not saying Britt Daniel has a glass jaw, but his thin frame and reddish hair make him an ideal Glass Joe. Spoon’s song “The Underdog” would also be perfect for the film’s soundtrack.

2. A.C. Newman (The New Pornographers) as Von Kaiser
If A.C. Newman shaved his beard and grew out a handlebar mustache, I think he’d look exactly like Von Kaiser. Now we just have to get the Canadian to work on his German accent.

3. Mike Herrera (MxPx) as Piston Honda
I don’t know? I just think MxPx’s Mike Herrera could pull off a good Piston Honda.

4. Guy Picciotto (Fugazi) as Don Flamenco
Not only does Guy Picciotto have a Don Flamenco-like nose, but he has video game character experience as well. Apparently, he was the inspiration for Guy in Street Fighter.

5. Frank Black (Pixies) as King Hippo
Kim Deal will be on set coordinating the fight scene between Little Mac and King Hippo. Like Nintendo Fan Club Magazine used to suggest: When he opens his mouth, hit him in the face. You gotta think that has happened on a few Pixies tours.

6. Snoop Dogg as Great Tiger
Snoop Dogg brings major motion picture experience with him. This could very well be his breakout role. I’m smelling Oscar for Best Supporting Actor.

7. Fat Joe as Bald Bull
The hit song “Lean Back” will be used after Bald Bull gets punched in the stomach after initiating his bull charge uppercut. (We’re hoping Fat Joe can bug out his eyes just like Bald Bull’s video game character.)

8. Lemmy Kilmister (Motorhead) as Soda Popinski
The fu manchu and the non-stop drinking made it an obvious choice.

9. Murs as Mr. Sandman
Murs doesn’t resemble Mr. Sandman at all, but he does have the greatest Punch-Out!! inspired music video of all time,”Murray’s Revenge”, so we thought he deserved to be in the film.

10. Nick Cave (Bad Seeds) as Super Macho Man
You don’t necessarily think “macho” when you bring up Nick Cave’s name, but his slicked back hairstyle is reminiscent of Super Macho Man’s mane. And just having Cave in this film gives it major indie cred!

11. Jamie Foxx as Mike Tyson
His interest in the role of playing Mike Tyson is what started this whole discussion.

12. Brandon Flowers (The Killers) as Little Mac
I’m still convinced that the only reason The Killers aren’t the biggest band on the planet is because they’re still somewhat awkward during interviews. If Brandon Flowers could prove to the world–especially to mainstream folk in the U.S.–that he is more than a reclusive rock star, The Killers would sell 10 million more albums (that’s my Mike Tyson’s Punch Out!! guarantee).

13. Joseph Simmons (Run DMC) as Doc
If Run doesn’t want to do it, I may allow a non-musical actor to portray Little Mac’s trainer. Reginald VelJohnson–the dad from Family Matters–seems like he’d be perfect for the role.

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Garth and Kat SNL

Welcome Back

Fred Armisen Is Returning to SNL to Host the Season Finale

Fred returns to SNL for the May 21st season finale.

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NBC Universal

Saturday Night Live will celebrate the return of one of its alumni for the season finale on May 21st. Portlandia co-creator and star Fred Armisen will be stepping onto the Studio 8H stage to host the final episode of the 41st season with musical guest Courtney Barnett. The news was broken by SNL’s Twitter account, which also announced Brie Larson and Drake will be wrapping up the season along with Armisen. This will be Fred’s first time hosting the show and, because it’s the finale, we’ll likely see a slew of surprise guests pop in. (Perhaps Fred’s comedy cohorts Carrie Brownstein and fellow Documentary Now! costar Bill Hader? We can dream!)

We also hope that Fred will join Courtney Barnett onstage for a haunting rendition of “Pitter Patter.”

Pitter Patter

Which of Fred’s many memorable SNL characters should make an appearance? Fericito? Political comedian Nicholas Fehn? Or maybe he’ll have an Obama-off with current SNL Obama Jay Pharoah. Find out when Fred brings the funny to SNL on May 21st.

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Weird Al Conan O’Brien

Off the Wall

Watch “Weird Al” Talk About Parodying Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney

Comedy Bang! Bang! gets weird starting Friday, June 3rd at 11P on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Conan / TBS

Song parodist and Comedy Bang! Bang!’s newest bandleader “Weird Al” Yankovic dropped by Conan to chat about the upcoming season of the IFC series and drop a few bits of trivia from his past. For example, did you know meeting Michael Jackson is a lot like meeting an alien? Well, you probably did, but “Weird Al” confirms it! Also, Yankovic discusses how he had a little artistic dispute with Paul McCartney over the use of “Live and Let Die” for a parody titled “Chicken Pot Pie”. (We’ll let Al fill you in on details.)

Check out “Weird Al” talking about his odd encounters with Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney’s joke-ruining suggestions in the video below. And be sure to catch Al on the new season of Comedy Bang! Bang! premiering Friday, June 3rd with back-to-back episodes at 11P and 11:30P.

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Bottoms Up

10 Movies That Make Hitting Rock Bottom Look Like Fun

Maron hits rock bottom tonight at 9P on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Dreamworks Pictures

This season on Maron, Marc is hitting rock bottom. He’s lost his career, his home and even his cats. But since Marc is involved, we figure he’ll be good for a few laughs on the way down. Thankfully, Marc’s in good company here. Some of our favorite movies feature characters who have hit the emotional basement face first. We’re glad we’re not them, but we definitely enjoy watching them fall apart.

10. Office Space

Office Space

If you’re going to flame out, at least do it with some panache. That’s the lesson office drone Peter Gibbons teaches us in Mike Judge’s cult classic, when a hypnotism gone wrong allows him to gain a little perspective on life. Soon he’s phoning in his job, and happily telling his superiors the ugly truth to their faces. This, of course, only makes him more popular around the office, a place he now has no need for. Peter has a mental breakdown with a smile on his face, and a bounce in his step, showing us that there is life beyond the cubicle.


9. The Weather Man

Weather Man

Sure, your job’s a joke, your kids are a mess and your father is disappointed in you, but there’s a shortcut to self-esteem that no one tells you about. It’s like a cheat code for when you want to turn your midlife crisis into a midlife adventure. That secret is arming yourself to the teeth. In local weatherman David Spritz’s case, that means carrying a bow and arrow around with him wherever he goes. Nicolas Cage has made a cottage industry of playing people in the midst of nervous breakdowns, from Leaving Las Vegas to The Family Man, but here he really separates David from the pack by going full Hawkeye on us. The lessons is, it doesn’t matter how bad you’re feeling on the inside when everyone is scared to death of you on the outside.


8. Trainwreck

Universal Pictures

Amy Schumer seems to have flipped the script when it comes to bottoming out. Sure, your life may be an unending stream of stripper heels, hangovers and one night stands. If you keep telling yourself everything awful about your life is completely awesome, who’s to say it isn’t? Mind equals blown. That, ladies and gentlemen, is called empowerment. Or delusion. It’s called something, and either way, Schumer knows how to make it hilarious. We may not want to be blackout drunk on a weeknight, but Amy sure makes it look like it doesn’t have to be the worst thing ever. You go girl.


7. American Beauty

American Beauty

Lester Burnham is just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose, and boy does he know how to quit a job. It involves admitting to masturbating in the company bathroom, and then blackmailing your boss into a year’s pay with benefits. If you’re going to hit rock bottom, you may as well get a little cash for the way down.


6. Rachel Getting Married

Rachel Getting Married

You can’t really hit rock bottom unless you take a few people down with you. That’s the lesson of this 2008 indie drama, in which Anne Hathaway plays a destructive addict inadvertently laying waste to her sister’s wedding. Sure, that doesn’t sound like a barrel of laughs, but Hathaway’s “I don’t give a f*ck” performance makes her character Kym feel like the cool girl we all wanted to hang out with in high school. Sure, she’s probably going to end up dead or in jail, but what a time she’ll have before she gets there.


5. Anchorman

Anchorman

There’s nothing quite like chugging milk on a hot summer day to remind you that you’ve made some bad choices in life. Out of work, friendless, womanless, and mustacheless, legendary local newsman Ron Burgundy finds out the hard way that nobody loves you when you’re on the bottom. Not even your weatherman, who seems like he’d give up just about anything for one weekend alone in a New England B&B with you. Fortunately, Mr. Burgundy has a secret up his sleeve, and no, we’re not talking about his jazz flute. With a conch shell, a baby panda news story, and some swagger, Ron Burgundy reminds us that the only way to stop a downward spiral is with the help of your friends and fellow anchorpeople.


4. 28 Days

28 Days

Yes, the opening moments of 28 Days are supposed to be a cautionary tale. An out of control Sandy Bullock shows up drunk to her sister’s wedding and delivers a rambling speech, before destroying the wedding cake. In a panic, she steals a limo, and crashes it into a house while trying to find a cake store. Now, granted, if you’re planning a wedding, this is pretty much the worst case plus one we can imagine. But, if you’re a guest, well, this kind of sounds like fun. As days go, taking a limo joy ride in desperate search of cake sounds like time well spent.


3. Kill Bill

Kill Bill

Okay, being buried alive isn’t fun. That’s a given. But what if you were a master ninja who ate black belts for breakfast looking for some vengeance? Well, then waking up six feet under might just be the thing. Sure, The Bride had a bad run, with a massacre at her wedding rehearsal and the whole coma thing, but this is the moment she turned from a wronged heroine into an ass-kicking machine. Everything she did after this was thanks to her premature funeral, and the folks behind it.


2. Bridesmaid

Bridesmaids

Weddings bring out a lot of emotions. Happiness, joy, regret, bitter jealously, a need to find the open bar. But for Annie, who lost her job, her apartment, and her boyfriend, only to see a fellow bridesmaid get the credit for a bridal shower she planned, it’s just too much. And when life throws a punch at you, you need to punch back, preferably if there’s a giant cookie nearby asking for a beating. Meltdowns aren’t fun in and of themselves, but going commando on a giant chocolate fountain is a dream we’ve had since childhood.


1. Fight Club

Fight Club

Yes, a schizophrenic breakdown, precipitated by the existential pain of a life left unlived, isn’t the most desirable way to spend a weekend. But what if you found out that the coolest guy you knew, the best looking, the guy you dreamed of being was actually (spoiler alert for a 17 year-old movie!) YOU? What if YOU planned the fight club? YOU had a six-pack? YOU were a freaking legend? Well, maybe blowing up a few buildings and crashing this whole system would be worth it. It certainly beats voting for Trump.

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