DID YOU READ

Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!, The Movie

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Even though a Mike Tyson documentary, Tyson, was just released last week, and Jamie Foxx is currently promoting his film, The Soloist, there is already talk of the multi-faceted actor portraying Iron Mike in an upcoming biopic.

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Apparently Tyson has even made public that he would love to have Foxx play him in a film about his life story.

When we say the “multi-faceted” Jamie Foxx, we’re not kidding around, because he is also promoting his most recent album, Intuition, which boasts the club hit, “Blame It.”

With all this talk of Foxx getting into the mindset of Mike Tyson, I’m thinking film writers and producers should skip the Tyson saga we’ve heard a million times before–especially all the drama surrounding Robin Givens, Buster Douglas, Don King, and Evander Holyfield–and make a movie about one of the greatest video games of all-time: Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!

If Foxx can weave in and out of movies and music, who’s to say our favorite musicians can’t do the same, huh?

So here’s a list of artists that should be in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!, The Movie:

1. Britt Daniel (Spoon) as Glass Joe
I’m not saying Britt Daniel has a glass jaw, but his thin frame and reddish hair make him an ideal Glass Joe. Spoon’s song “The Underdog” would also be perfect for the film’s soundtrack.

2. A.C. Newman (The New Pornographers) as Von Kaiser
If A.C. Newman shaved his beard and grew out a handlebar mustache, I think he’d look exactly like Von Kaiser. Now we just have to get the Canadian to work on his German accent.

3. Mike Herrera (MxPx) as Piston Honda
I don’t know? I just think MxPx’s Mike Herrera could pull off a good Piston Honda.

4. Guy Picciotto (Fugazi) as Don Flamenco
Not only does Guy Picciotto have a Don Flamenco-like nose, but he has video game character experience as well. Apparently, he was the inspiration for Guy in Street Fighter.

5. Frank Black (Pixies) as King Hippo
Kim Deal will be on set coordinating the fight scene between Little Mac and King Hippo. Like Nintendo Fan Club Magazine used to suggest: When he opens his mouth, hit him in the face. You gotta think that has happened on a few Pixies tours.

6. Snoop Dogg as Great Tiger
Snoop Dogg brings major motion picture experience with him. This could very well be his breakout role. I’m smelling Oscar for Best Supporting Actor.

7. Fat Joe as Bald Bull
The hit song “Lean Back” will be used after Bald Bull gets punched in the stomach after initiating his bull charge uppercut. (We’re hoping Fat Joe can bug out his eyes just like Bald Bull’s video game character.)

8. Lemmy Kilmister (Motorhead) as Soda Popinski
The fu manchu and the non-stop drinking made it an obvious choice.

9. Murs as Mr. Sandman
Murs doesn’t resemble Mr. Sandman at all, but he does have the greatest Punch-Out!! inspired music video of all time,”Murray’s Revenge”, so we thought he deserved to be in the film.

10. Nick Cave (Bad Seeds) as Super Macho Man
You don’t necessarily think “macho” when you bring up Nick Cave’s name, but his slicked back hairstyle is reminiscent of Super Macho Man’s mane. And just having Cave in this film gives it major indie cred!

11. Jamie Foxx as Mike Tyson
His interest in the role of playing Mike Tyson is what started this whole discussion.

12. Brandon Flowers (The Killers) as Little Mac
I’m still convinced that the only reason The Killers aren’t the biggest band on the planet is because they’re still somewhat awkward during interviews. If Brandon Flowers could prove to the world–especially to mainstream folk in the U.S.–that he is more than a reclusive rock star, The Killers would sell 10 million more albums (that’s my Mike Tyson’s Punch Out!! guarantee).

13. Joseph Simmons (Run DMC) as Doc
If Run doesn’t want to do it, I may allow a non-musical actor to portray Little Mac’s trainer. Reginald VelJohnson–the dad from Family Matters–seems like he’d be perfect for the role.

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Thank Azaria

Best. Characters. Ever.

Our favorite Hank Azaria characters.

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GIFs via Giphy

Hank Azaria may well be the most prolific voice and character actor of our time. The work he’s done for The Simpsons alone has earned him a permanent place in the pop culture zeitgeist. And now he’s bringing another character to the mainstream: a washed-up sports announcer named Jim Brockmire, in the aptly titled new series Brockmire.

We’re looking forward to it. So much so that we want to look backward, too, with a short-but-sweet retrospective of some of Azaria’s important characters. Shall we begin?

Half The Recurring Simpsons Characters

He’s Comic Book Guy. He’s Chief Wiggum. He’s Apu. He’s Cletus. He’s Snake. He’s Superintendent Chalmers. He’s the Sea Captain. He’s Kurt “Can I Borrow A Feeling” Van Houten. He’s Professor Frink. He’s Carl. And he’s many more. But most importantly he’s Moe Szyslak, the staple character Azaria has voiced since his very first audition for The Simpsons.

Oh, and He’s Frank Grimes

For all the regular Simpsons characters Azaria has played over the years, his most brilliant performance may have been a one-off: Frank Grimes, the scrappy bootstrapper who worked tirelessly all his life for honest, incremental, and easily-undermined success. Azaria’s portrayal of this character was nuanced, emotional, and simply magical.

Patches O’Houlihan

Dodgeball is a “sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” as Hank Azaria generously points out in his brief but crucial cameo in Dodgeball. That’s sage wisdom. Try applying his “five D’s” to your life on and off the court and enjoy the results.

Harold Zoid

Of Futurama fame. The crazy uncle of Dr. Zoidberg, Harold Zoid was once a lion (or lobster) of the silver screen until Smell-o-vision forced him into retirement.

Agador

The Birdcage was significant for many reasons, and the comic genius of Hank Azaria’s character “Agador” sits somewhere towards the top of that list. If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.

Gargamel

Nobody else could make a live-action Gargamel possible.

Ed Cochran

From Ray Donovan. Great character, great last name [editorial note: the author of this article may be bias].

Kahmunra, The Thinker, Abe Lincoln

All in the Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, a file that let Azaria flex his voice acting and live-action muscles in one fell swoop.

The Blue Raja

Mystery Men has everything, including a fatal case of Smash Mouth. Azaria’s iconic superhero makes the shortlist of redeemable qualities, though.

Dr. Huff

Huff put Azaria in a leading role, and it was good. So good that there is no good gif of it. Internet? More like Inter-not.

Learn more about Hank Azaria’s newest claim to fame right here, and don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Flame Out

Brockmire and Other Public Implosions

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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There’s less than a month until the Brockmire premiere, and to say we’re excited would be an insulting understatement. It’s not just that it stars Hank Azaria, who can do no wrong (and yes, that’s including Mystery Men, which is only cringeworthy because of Smash Mouth). It’s that the whole backstory of the titular character, Jim Brockmire, is the stuff of legends. A one-time iconic sportscaster who won the hearts of fans and players alike, he fell from grace after an unfortunate personal event triggered a seriously public meltdown. See for yourself in the NSFW Funny or Die digital short that spawned the IFC series:

See? NSFW and spectacularly catastrophic in a way that could almost be real. Which got us thinking: What are some real-life sports fails that have nothing to do with botched athletics and everything to do with going tragically off script? The internet is a dark and dirty place, friends, but these three examples are pretty special and mostly safe for work…

Disgruntled Sports Reporter

His co-anchor went offsides and he called it like he saw it.

Jim Rome vs Jim “Not Chris” Everett

You just don’t heckle a professional athlete when you’re within striking distance. Common sense.

Carl Lewis’s National Anthem

He killed it! As in murdered. It’s dead.

To see more moments just like these, we recommend spending a day in your pajamas combing through the muckiness of the internet. But to see something that’s Brockmire-level funny without having to clear your browser history, check out the sneak peeks and extras here.

Don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Mirror, Mirror

Portlandia Season 7 In Hindsight

Portlandia Season 7 Now Available Online and on the IFC App.

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Another season of Portlandia is behind us, and oh what a season it was. We laughed. We cried. And we chuckled uncomfortably while glancing nervously around the room. Like every season before it, the latest Portlandia has held a mirror up to ridiculousness of modern American life, but more than ever that same mirror has reflected our social reality in ways that are at once hysterical and sneakily thought-provoking. Here are just a few of the issues they tackled:

Nationalism

So long, America, Portland is out! And yes, the idea of Portland seceding is still less ludicrous than building a wall.

Men’s Rights

We all saw this coming. Exit gracefully, dudes.

Protests

Whatever you stand for, stand for it together. Or with at least one other person.

Free Love

No matter who we are or how we love, deep down we all have the ability to get stalky.

Social Status

Modern self-esteem basically hinges on likes, so this isn’t really a stretch at all.

These moments are just the tip of the iceberg, and much more can be found in the full seventh season of #Portlandia, available right now #online and on the #IFC app.

via GIPHY

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