DID YOU READ

Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!, The Movie

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Even though a Mike Tyson documentary, Tyson, was just released last week, and Jamie Foxx is currently promoting his film, The Soloist, there is already talk of the multi-faceted actor portraying Iron Mike in an upcoming biopic.

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Apparently Tyson has even made public that he would love to have Foxx play him in a film about his life story.

When we say the “multi-faceted” Jamie Foxx, we’re not kidding around, because he is also promoting his most recent album, Intuition, which boasts the club hit, “Blame It.”

With all this talk of Foxx getting into the mindset of Mike Tyson, I’m thinking film writers and producers should skip the Tyson saga we’ve heard a million times before–especially all the drama surrounding Robin Givens, Buster Douglas, Don King, and Evander Holyfield–and make a movie about one of the greatest video games of all-time: Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!

If Foxx can weave in and out of movies and music, who’s to say our favorite musicians can’t do the same, huh?

So here’s a list of artists that should be in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!, The Movie:

1. Britt Daniel (Spoon) as Glass Joe
I’m not saying Britt Daniel has a glass jaw, but his thin frame and reddish hair make him an ideal Glass Joe. Spoon’s song “The Underdog” would also be perfect for the film’s soundtrack.

2. A.C. Newman (The New Pornographers) as Von Kaiser
If A.C. Newman shaved his beard and grew out a handlebar mustache, I think he’d look exactly like Von Kaiser. Now we just have to get the Canadian to work on his German accent.

3. Mike Herrera (MxPx) as Piston Honda
I don’t know? I just think MxPx’s Mike Herrera could pull off a good Piston Honda.

4. Guy Picciotto (Fugazi) as Don Flamenco
Not only does Guy Picciotto have a Don Flamenco-like nose, but he has video game character experience as well. Apparently, he was the inspiration for Guy in Street Fighter.

5. Frank Black (Pixies) as King Hippo
Kim Deal will be on set coordinating the fight scene between Little Mac and King Hippo. Like Nintendo Fan Club Magazine used to suggest: When he opens his mouth, hit him in the face. You gotta think that has happened on a few Pixies tours.

6. Snoop Dogg as Great Tiger
Snoop Dogg brings major motion picture experience with him. This could very well be his breakout role. I’m smelling Oscar for Best Supporting Actor.

7. Fat Joe as Bald Bull
The hit song “Lean Back” will be used after Bald Bull gets punched in the stomach after initiating his bull charge uppercut. (We’re hoping Fat Joe can bug out his eyes just like Bald Bull’s video game character.)

8. Lemmy Kilmister (Motorhead) as Soda Popinski
The fu manchu and the non-stop drinking made it an obvious choice.

9. Murs as Mr. Sandman
Murs doesn’t resemble Mr. Sandman at all, but he does have the greatest Punch-Out!! inspired music video of all time,”Murray’s Revenge”, so we thought he deserved to be in the film.

10. Nick Cave (Bad Seeds) as Super Macho Man
You don’t necessarily think “macho” when you bring up Nick Cave’s name, but his slicked back hairstyle is reminiscent of Super Macho Man’s mane. And just having Cave in this film gives it major indie cred!

11. Jamie Foxx as Mike Tyson
His interest in the role of playing Mike Tyson is what started this whole discussion.

12. Brandon Flowers (The Killers) as Little Mac
I’m still convinced that the only reason The Killers aren’t the biggest band on the planet is because they’re still somewhat awkward during interviews. If Brandon Flowers could prove to the world–especially to mainstream folk in the U.S.–that he is more than a reclusive rock star, The Killers would sell 10 million more albums (that’s my Mike Tyson’s Punch Out!! guarantee).

13. Joseph Simmons (Run DMC) as Doc
If Run doesn’t want to do it, I may allow a non-musical actor to portray Little Mac’s trainer. Reginald VelJohnson–the dad from Family Matters–seems like he’d be perfect for the role.

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Inauguration Alternative

Bill Murray On Repeat

It's a movie "Murray-thon" all-day Friday on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs courtesy of GIPHY

Democrats, Republicans and Millennials agree: 2017 is shaping up to be a spectacle — a spectacle that really kicks into high gear this Friday with the presidential inauguration. Not only will the new POTUS swear in, but all the Country’s highest offices will be filled. It’s a daunting prospect, and to feel a little anxious about it is only normal. But if your anxiety is snowballing into panic, we have a solution:
Bill Murray.

He’s the human embodiment of a mental “Happy Place”, and there’s really no problem he can’t solve. So, with that in mind, how about we all set aside reality for a moment and let Bill take the pain away by imagining a top-shelf White House cabinet filled exclusively by his signature characters. Here are a few hypothetical appointments for your consideration…

Secretary of Defense:
Bill Murray from Stripes

His incompetence is balanced by charm, and dumb luck is inexplicably on his side. America could do worse.

Secretary of State:
Bill Murray from Lost In Translation

A seasoned globetrotter steeped in regional traditions who has the respect of the whole wide world. And he kills Costello in karaoke, which is very important.

Press Secretary:
Bill Murray from Ghostbusters

“Cats and dogs, living together. Mass hysteria.” Dude knows how to brief a room.

Secretary of Health and Human Services:
Bill Murray from What About Bob.

A doctor-approved people person who knows that progress is measured in baby steps.

Secretary of Energy:
Bill Murray from Groundhog Day

Let’s be honest, this world is going to need a lot of do-overs.

Feeling better? Hold on to that bliss. And enjoy a healthy alternative to the inauguration brouhaha with multiple Murrays all Friday long in an IFC movie marathon including Kingpin, Zombieland, Ghostbusters, and Ghostbusters II.

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Home Run

Hank Azaria Gets Thrown A Curve Ball

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Unless you’ve somehow missed every episode of the Simpsons since 1989, then surely you know that Hank Azaria is one of the most important character actors of our time. He’s so prolific and his voice is so dynamic that he’s responsible for more iconic personalities than most folks realize. Basically, he’s the great and powerful Oz — except that when you pull back the curtain the truth is actually more impressive. And now Hank is coming to IFC to bring yet another character to the TV pop culture hive mind in the new series Brockmire. Check out the trailer below.

Based on the following Funny or Die short and co-starring Amanda Peet, Brockmire follows the story of imploded major league sportscaster Jim Brockmire as he tries to resurrect his career by calling plays for a floundering minor league team in a podunk town.

The series is written by Joel Church-Cooper (Undateable) and produced by Funny or Die’s Mike Farah and Joe Farrell, meaning that there’s funny in front of the camera, funny behind the camera–funny all around. Sounds like a ball to us.

Brockmire premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Car Notes

Portlandia On People Who Can’t Park

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

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If flagrant bad parking takes nerve, then retaliatory note writing takes neuroses. Watch Fred and Carrie take passive aggression to next level in Car Notes, the new Portlandia web series presented by Subaru. The first episode is yours right here and now, and you can see every installment of Car Notes anytime online, on the IFC app and on demand.

Portlandia returns tonight at 10P on IFC.

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