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LISTS: Best Uniforms In Music

LISTS:  Best Uniforms In Music (photo)

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I love uniforms–doesn’t matter if we’re talkin’ school, work, or sports! Go ahead, ask any of my friends and they’ll tell you that not only have I saved every uniform from every fast food place where I’ve worked, but at the beginning of every sports season I can tell you what stripe, outline, or font has been changed on a team’s uniform (and, yes, I think Uni Watch is one brilliant idea for a blog).

I believe that wearing a uniform–which some may argue takes away from individual creative expression–promotes unity. Win as a team, lose as a team. All for one, one for all, right?

And it’s not just postal workers, sports teams, and Catholic schoolgirls having all the fun. Uniforms have been used in music for many, many years–everyone from The Supremes to The Beatles to The Jackson 5 (even the Brady Bunch) have dawned them. Coldplay is a recent example of a musical act showing solidarity through wearing similarly stitched threads. Though I don’t necessarily care for their Wiggles-meets-marching-band uniforms, I do appreciate their effort.

Nine Inch Nails, as you probably know, also have a strict dress code. That’s why I thought it was hilarious last year, when they recruited former Beck bassist, Jason Mendel Johnsen, into their ranks. The usually flamboyantly dressed JMJ had to succumb to NIN’s serious black-and-grey road uniform. Career-wise he may be better off with Trent Reznor’s squad, but fashion-wise, it seems like he’d fit in more with cover-song kings, Me First And The Gimme Gimmes, who make a regular practice out of wearing brightly colored Hawaiian shirts on stage.

Today, we will take a good look at the all-time best uniforms in music. Just to be clear, a band can only qualify for the list, if all members participate. Andre 3000 and Karen O have sported some spectacular threads over the last few years, but the rest of their group–and maybe for good reason–haven’t mimicked their style (I don’t know if the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s, Nick Zinner, would look good in an electric blue leotard?).

For fans of symmetry, balance, color codes, and playing dress-up, I give you music’s greatest on-stage uniforms ever:

Honorable Mention, Slipknot
Love ’em or hate ’em, you got to give Sklipknot some credit. It’s not easy performing in jumpsuits and masks–especially in sweatbox clubs or at outdoor summer concerts, when the temperature can easily reach triple digits.

10. Stryper
The least accomplished band on this list, but who can forget their black-and-gold, bumble bee stage attire? Being from Pittsburgh, I do admire their choice in colors, but what I really respect from this early 80’s metal band, is their courage to wear outfits that made them look like professional wrestlers wrapped in caution tape.

9. Alkaline Trio
Wearing black suits is nothing new to music, but Alkaline Trio deserve a special place on this countdown, because they were wearing suits and ties when the rest of their Warped Tour peers were wearing skateboard t-shrits and oversized shorts. In the mid-2000’s, countless bands–including Green Day and My Chemical Romance–adopted Alkaline Trio’s black-and-red dress code.

8. N.W.A.
How much money do you think the Starter Clothing Company made from the popularity of N.W.A.? Eazy, Cube, and Dre (and I can’t forget about Yella and Ren) represented their hometown west coast by wearing Raiders caps and Starter Jackets. Around the same time, the NHL’s Los Angeles Kings changed their color scheme from purple-and-yellow to black-and-silver, which (conveniently) made it a perfect accoutrement to N.W.A.’s uniform.

7. Devo
Devo’s onstage attire has become so iconic it’s even available as a yearly Halloween costume at Party stores across the country. Their headwear, the energy dome, is also one of the coolest souvenirs to own in music. (Don’t think of Devo as just an 80’s novelty act either, they performed at SXSW 2009 and are scheduled to release a brand new album later this year.)

6. The Beastie Boys
Whether it be in tracksuits, jumpsuits, silk-suits or lab coats, it’s no secret that the Beastie Boys like to play dress up. Years ago, old school rapper, Kool Moe Dee, gave the Beastie Boys a grade of A for sticking to themes–I concur.

5. The Red Hot Chili Peppers
The Chili Peppers have one of the most famous–and simplest–uniforms in rock and roll history: the sock. Besides wearing hosiery on their ding-dongs, The Red Hot Chili Peppers have also worn light bulbs on their heads, and have made classic, their simple shirts-off style.

4. The Ramones
Before The Ramones, a group of guys wearing tight jeans and leather jackets might be mistaken for a motorcycle gang. After The Ramones–well–a group of guys wearing tight jeans and leather jackets were either mistaken for The Ramones or a group of New York City punks on their way to see them.

3. Run-DMC
Stetson hats, black jackets, and adidas sneakers. Wear this combination today, and I guarantee someone will start singing a Run-DMC song.

2. The White Stripes
No matter how popular they got, or how critically acclaimed their albums became in the early 00’s, The White Stripes never broke from their red-and-white dress code–not on stage, not on their album cover, not in photo shoots. Like many sports team, Jack and Meg have recently included the color black into their stage get-ups (don’t know if this is to strike fear into their opponents, or if black is better at concealing sweaty armpits?).

1. KISS
The ultimate in rock and roll stage uniforms. KISS’ silver-and-black stage attire–with accompanying black-and-white face paint–is the most iconic look in music history (speaking in terms of bands). Some die-hard sports fans may even concede that the silver-and-black of KISS is more recognizable than the silver-and-black uniforms of the legendary Oakland Raiders football team.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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WTF Films

Artfully Off

Celebrity All-Star by Sisters Weekend is available now on IFC's Comedy Crib.

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Sisters Weekend isn’t like other comedy groups. It’s filmmaking collaboration between besties Angelo Balassone, Michael Fails and Kat Tadesco, self-described lace-front addicts with great legs who write, direct, design and produce video sketches and cinematic shorts that are so surreally hilarious that they defy categorization. One such short film, Celebrity All-Star, is the newest addition to IFC’s Comedy Crib. Here’s what they had to say about it in a very personal email interview…

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IFC: How would you describe Celebrity All-Star to a fancy network executive you just met in an elevator?

Celebrity All-Star is a short film about an overworked reality TV coordinator struggling to save her one night off after the cast of C-List celebrities she wrangles gets locked out of their hotel rooms.

IFC: How would you describe Celebrity All-Star to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Sisters Weekend: It’s this short we made for IFC where a talent coordinator named Karen babysits a bunch of weird c-list celebs who are stuck in a hotel bar. It’s everyone you hate from reality TV under one roof – and that roof leaks because it’s a 2-star hotel. There’s a magician, sexy cowboys, and a guy wearing a belt that sucks up his farts.

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IFC: What was the genesis of Celebrity All-Star?

Celebrity All-Star was born from our love of embarrassing celebrities. We love a good c-lister in need of a paycheck! We were really interested in the canned politeness people give off when forced to mingle with strangers. The backstory we created is that the cast of this reality show called “Celebrity All-Star” is in the middle of a mandatory round of “get to know each other” drinks in the hotel bar when the room keys stop working. Shows like Celebrity Ghost Hunters and of course The Surreal Life were of inspo, but we thought it
was funny to keep it really vague what kind of show they’re on, and just focus on everyone’s diva antics after the cameras stop rolling.

IFC: Every celebrity in Celebrity All-Star seems familiar. What real-life pop personalities did you look to for inspiration?

Sisters Weekend: Anyone who is trying to plug their branded merch that no one asked for. We love low-rent celebrity. We did, however, directly reference Kylie Jenner’s turd-raison lip color for our fictional teen celebutante Gibby Kyle (played by Mary Houlihan).

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IFC: Celebrity seems disgusting yet desirable. What’s your POV? Do you crave it, hate it, or both?

Sisters Weekend: A lot of people chase fame. If you’re practical, you’ll likely switch to chasing success and if you’re smart, you’ll hopefully switch to chasing happiness. But also, “We need money. We need hits. Hits bring money, money bring power, power bring fame, fame change the game,” Young Thug.

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IFC: Who are your comedy idols?

Sisters Weekend: Mike grew up renting “Monty Python” tapes from the library and staying up late to watch 2000’s SNL, Kat was super into Andy Kaufman and “Kids In The Hall” in high school, and Angelo was heavily influenced by “Strangers With Candy” and Anna Faris in the Scary Movie franchise, so, our comedy heroes mesh from all over. But, also we idolize a lot of the people we work with in NY-  Lorelei Ramirez, Erin Markey, Mary Houlihan, who are all in the film, Amy Zimmer, Ana Fabrega, Patti Harrison, Sam Taggart. Geniuses! All of Em!

IFC: What’s your favorite moment from the film?

Sisters Weekend: I mean…seeing Mary Houlihan scream at an insane Pomeranian on an iPad is pretty great.

See Sisters Weekend right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib

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