DID YOU READ

LISTS: Top 10 Baby Album Covers

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Last month, when Morrissey released his new album, Years of Refusal–featuring a picture of him toting a toddler under his arm–a few blog postings popped up on the internet recalling other musical artists that have used infant children as cover babies for their album. I also came across this list recently, which features just about everyone you can think of.

Many times artists like to use their own baby photos for the front of their album to contrast where they are in life to where they’ve been. And then sometimes I’m sure artists just go for the infant album cover to elicit some oohs and ahs from their fan base (cause, c’mon, who can’t resist a cute baby?).

There have been many babies on album artwork over the years, but I decided to whittle it down to the 10 best today. So get your binkies and your formula ready–here are the Top 10 Baby Album Covers of All-Time:

10. Shakira, Oral Fixation, Vol. 2
This album cover always cracked me up just for the fact that it looks like the infant has no intention of grabbing for the apple in Shakira’s right hand.

9. Morrissey, Years of Refusal
I know the album just came out in February, but how awesome is this picture of Moz? He’s holding that baby with about as much enthusiasm as carrying a sack of groceries. The album title, Years of Refusal, also makes you wonder if the (legendary for his bouts of celibacy) Morrissey is ready to have kids, or the exact opposite.

8. Lil’ Wayne, Tha Carter III
Continuing in the tradition of rappers putting youngsters on their album covers (Notorious B.I.G., Nas, The Game), a young Lil’ Wayne graces his most critically acclaimed work to date. Every time I see the album cover–and though I’m 99.9% sure I know the answer–I always wonder if his tattoos are real? How gangsta would it be for an infant to have facial tattoos?

7. Everclear, Sparkle and Fade
Technically, there’s only one baby on the cover of this album. Childhood pictures of Everclear’s Craig Montoya (left) and Art Alexakis (middle) clearly show the boys have grown past their infant stage. The same can’t be said about the baby picture of drummer, Greg Eklund (right), who seems to be completely thrilled that he’s either covered in pooh or chocolate pudding.

6. The Cure, Galore (The Singles 1987-1998)
How can you go wrong with two of the greatest blessings the world has to offer? Babies and ice cream! On top of that, this album is packed with The Cure’s catchiest hits.

5. The Beatles, Yesterday and Today
In 1966 the lovable, huggable Beatles suffered their first round of public criticism when they decided to release an album whose cover featured a picture of the band dressed in butcher smocks, smeared with pieces of meat and baby doll parts. After negative reaction from the “butcher cover,” Capitol recalled Yesterday and Today–making it the only Beatles album that Capitol ever lost money on. This little episode of butchers gone bad gave The Beatles some on-the-job training in out-of-the-box thinking.

4. Sebadoh, Bakesale
Bakesale bares the picture of a naked baby boy playing in the toilet (i.e., Sebadoh founder, Lou Barlow). Many consider this to be Sebadoh’s tightest and most concise album, and for anyone who was a college DJ back in the 90’s, the mere sight of Bakesale’s cover will take you back in time and flood your brain with a whole bunch of good memories.

3. Van Halen, 1984
That’s one bad baby, huh? Not only is this an unforgettable album cover from the 80’s, 1984 also boasts some of Van Halen’s biggest hits to date: “Jump,” “Panama,” and “Hot For Teacher.” This was also David Lee Roth’s swan song with the group–maybe that has something to do with the album cover being so memorable?

2. The Notorious B.I.G., Ready To Die
An etched-in-the-memory album cover from the Notorious B.I.G.’s debut album. Mention Ready To Die’s artwork, and any hip-hop fan will respond, “Baby with the afro sittin’ in his diaper” The prophetic picture says it all–Biggie was ready to die ever since he was born.

1. Nirvana, Nevermind
Not only the top baby album cover of all-time, but maybe one of the most iconic covers in music history as well. A baby swimming towards a one-dollar bill–did it represent Nirvana selling out? Did it symbolize the moment Kurt Cobain lost the innocence of his childhood? Are we baited into greed as soon as we leave the womb? Or was Nirvana just being cute (on a couple different levels)? The debate began in 1991 and continues today.

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Brock Hard

Brockmire’s Guide To Grabbing Life By The D***

Catch up on the full season of Brockmire now.

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“Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, because this ballgame is over!”

Brockmire has officially closed out its rookie season. Miss the finale episode? A handful of episodes? The whole blessed season?? You can see it all from the beginning, starting right here.

And you should get started, because every minute you spend otherwise will be a minute spent not living your best life. That’s right, there are very important life lessons that Brockmire hid in plain sight—lessons that, when applied thoughtfully, can improve every aspect of your awesome existence. Let’s dive into some sage nuggets from what we call the Book of Jim.

Life Should Be Spiked, Not Watered Down.

That’s not just a fancy metaphor. As Brockmire points out, water tastes “awful. 70% of the water is made up of that shit?” Life is short, water sucks, live like you mean it.

There Are Only Three Types of People

“Poor people, rich people and famous people. Rich people are just poor people with money, so the only worthwhile thing is being famous.” So next time your rich friends act all high and mighty, politely remind them that they’re worthless in the eyes of even the most minor celebrities.

There’s Always A Reason To Get Out Of Bed

And 99% of the time that reason is the urge to pee. It’s nature’s way of saying “seize the day.”

There’s More To Life Than Playing Games

“Baseball can’t compete with p0rnography. Nothing can.” Nothing you do or ever will do can be more important to people than p0rn. Get off your high horse.

A Little Empathy Goes A Long Way

Especially if you’ve taken someone else’s Plan B by mistake.

Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Greatest Strengths

Tyrion Lannister said something similar. Hard to tell who said it with more colorful profanity. Wise sentiments all around.

Big Things Come To Those Who Wait

When you’re looking for a sign, the universe will drop you a big one. You’re the sh*t, universe.

And Of Course…

Need more life lessons from the Book of Jim? Catch up on Brockmire on the IFC App.

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Oh Mama

Mommie May I?

Mommie Dearest Is On Repeat All Mothers Day Long On IFC

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The cult-classic movie Mommie Dearest is a game-changer. If you’ve seen it even just once (but come on, who sees it just once?), then you already know what we’re talking about.

But if you haven’t seen it, then let us break it down for you. Really quick, we promise, we’ll even list things out to spare you the reading of a paragraph:

1. It’s the 1981 biopic based on the memoir of Christina Crawford, Hollywood icon Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter.
2. Faye Dunaway plays Joan. And boy does she play her. Loud and over-reactive.
3. It was intended as a drama, but…
4. Waaaaaay over-the-top performances and bargain-basement dialogue rendered it an accidental comedy.
5. It’s a cult classic, and you’re the last person to see it.

Not sold? Don’t believe it’s going to change your life? Ok, maybe over-the-top acting isn’t your thing, or perhaps you don’t like the lingering electricity of a good primal scream, or Joan Crawford is your personal icon and you can’t bear to see her cast in such a creepy light.

But none of that matters.

What’s important is that seeing this movie gives you permission to react to minor repeat annoyances with unrestrained histrionics.

That there is a key moment. Is she crazy? Yeah. But she’s also right. Shoulder nipples are horrible, wire hangers are the worst, and yelling about it feels strangely justified. She did it, we can do it. Precedent set. You’re welcome.

So what else can we yell about? Channel your inner Joan and consider the following list offenses when choosing your next meltdown.

Improperly Hung Toilet Paper

Misplaced Apostrophes

Coldplay at Karaoke

Dad Jokes

Gluten Free Pizza

James Franco

The list of potential pedestrian grievances is actually quite daunting, but when IFC airs Mommie Dearest non-stop for a full day, you’ll have 24 bonus hours to mull it over. 24 bonus hours to nail that lunatic shriek. 24 bonus hours to remember that, really, your mom is comparatively the best.

So please, celebrate Mother’s Day with Mommie Dearest on IFC and at IFC.com. And for the love of god—NO WIRE HANGERS EVER.

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Breaking News

From Canada With Love

Baroness von Sketch Show premieres this summer on IFC.

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Breaking news that (finally) isn’t apocalyptic!

IFC announced today that it acquired acclaimed Canadian comedy series Baroness von Sketch Show, slated to make its US of A premiere this summer. And yes, it’s important to note that it’s a Canadian sketch comedy series, because Canada is currently a shining beacon of civilization in the western hemisphere, and Baroness von Sketch Show reflects that light in every way possible.

The series is fronted entirely by women, which isn’t unusual in the sketch comedy world but is quite rare in the televised sketch comedy world. Punchy, smart, and provocative, each episode of Baroness von Sketch Show touches upon outrageous-yet-relatable real world subjects in ways both unexpected and deeply satisfying: soccer moms, awkward office birthday parties, being over 40 in a gym locker room…dry shampoo…

Indiewire called it “The Best Comedy You’ve Never Seen” and The National Post said that it’s “the funniest thing on Canadian television since Kids In The Hall.” And that’s saying a lot, because Canadians are goddamn hilarious.

Get a good taste of BVSS in the following sketch, which envisions a future Global Summit run entirely by women. It’s a future we’re personally ready for.

Baroness Von Sketch Show premieres later this summer on IFC.

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