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LISTS: Top 10 Baby Album Covers

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Last month, when Morrissey released his new album, Years of Refusal–featuring a picture of him toting a toddler under his arm–a few blog postings popped up on the internet recalling other musical artists that have used infant children as cover babies for their album. I also came across this list recently, which features just about everyone you can think of.

Many times artists like to use their own baby photos for the front of their album to contrast where they are in life to where they’ve been. And then sometimes I’m sure artists just go for the infant album cover to elicit some oohs and ahs from their fan base (cause, c’mon, who can’t resist a cute baby?).

There have been many babies on album artwork over the years, but I decided to whittle it down to the 10 best today. So get your binkies and your formula ready–here are the Top 10 Baby Album Covers of All-Time:

10. Shakira, Oral Fixation, Vol. 2
This album cover always cracked me up just for the fact that it looks like the infant has no intention of grabbing for the apple in Shakira’s right hand.

9. Morrissey, Years of Refusal
I know the album just came out in February, but how awesome is this picture of Moz? He’s holding that baby with about as much enthusiasm as carrying a sack of groceries. The album title, Years of Refusal, also makes you wonder if the (legendary for his bouts of celibacy) Morrissey is ready to have kids, or the exact opposite.

8. Lil’ Wayne, Tha Carter III
Continuing in the tradition of rappers putting youngsters on their album covers (Notorious B.I.G., Nas, The Game), a young Lil’ Wayne graces his most critically acclaimed work to date. Every time I see the album cover–and though I’m 99.9% sure I know the answer–I always wonder if his tattoos are real? How gangsta would it be for an infant to have facial tattoos?

7. Everclear, Sparkle and Fade
Technically, there’s only one baby on the cover of this album. Childhood pictures of Everclear’s Craig Montoya (left) and Art Alexakis (middle) clearly show the boys have grown past their infant stage. The same can’t be said about the baby picture of drummer, Greg Eklund (right), who seems to be completely thrilled that he’s either covered in pooh or chocolate pudding.

6. The Cure, Galore (The Singles 1987-1998)
How can you go wrong with two of the greatest blessings the world has to offer? Babies and ice cream! On top of that, this album is packed with The Cure’s catchiest hits.

5. The Beatles, Yesterday and Today
In 1966 the lovable, huggable Beatles suffered their first round of public criticism when they decided to release an album whose cover featured a picture of the band dressed in butcher smocks, smeared with pieces of meat and baby doll parts. After negative reaction from the “butcher cover,” Capitol recalled Yesterday and Today–making it the only Beatles album that Capitol ever lost money on. This little episode of butchers gone bad gave The Beatles some on-the-job training in out-of-the-box thinking.

4. Sebadoh, Bakesale
Bakesale bares the picture of a naked baby boy playing in the toilet (i.e., Sebadoh founder, Lou Barlow). Many consider this to be Sebadoh’s tightest and most concise album, and for anyone who was a college DJ back in the 90’s, the mere sight of Bakesale’s cover will take you back in time and flood your brain with a whole bunch of good memories.

3. Van Halen, 1984
That’s one bad baby, huh? Not only is this an unforgettable album cover from the 80’s, 1984 also boasts some of Van Halen’s biggest hits to date: “Jump,” “Panama,” and “Hot For Teacher.” This was also David Lee Roth’s swan song with the group–maybe that has something to do with the album cover being so memorable?

2. The Notorious B.I.G., Ready To Die
An etched-in-the-memory album cover from the Notorious B.I.G.’s debut album. Mention Ready To Die’s artwork, and any hip-hop fan will respond, “Baby with the afro sittin’ in his diaper” The prophetic picture says it all–Biggie was ready to die ever since he was born.

1. Nirvana, Nevermind
Not only the top baby album cover of all-time, but maybe one of the most iconic covers in music history as well. A baby swimming towards a one-dollar bill–did it represent Nirvana selling out? Did it symbolize the moment Kurt Cobain lost the innocence of his childhood? Are we baited into greed as soon as we leave the womb? Or was Nirvana just being cute (on a couple different levels)? The debate began in 1991 and continues today.

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Face Melting Cameos

The 10 Most Metal Pop Culture Cameos

Glenn Danzig drops by Portlandia tonight at 10P on IFC.

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Glenn Danzig rocks harder than granite. In his 60 years, he’s mastered punk with The Misfits, slayed metal with the eponymous Danzig, and generally melted faces with the force of his voice. And thanks to Fred and Carrie, he’s now stopping by tonight’s brand new Portlandia so we can finally get to see what “Evil Elvis” is like when he hits the beach. To celebrate his appearance, we put together our favorite metal moments from pop culture, from the sublime to the absurd.

10. Cannibal Corpse meets Ace Ventura

Back in the ’90s,  Cannibal Corpse was just a small time band from Upstate New York, plying their death metal wares wherever they could find a crowd, when a call from Jim Carry transformed their lives. Turns out the actor was a fan, and wanted them for a cameo in his new movie, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. The band had a European tour coming up, and were wary of being made fun of, so they turned it down. Thankfully, the rubber-faced In Living Color vet wouldn’t take no for an answer, proving that you don’t need to have a lot of fans, just the right ones.


9. AC/DC in Private Parts

Howard Stern’s autobiographical film, based on his book of the same name, followed his rise in the world of radio and pop culture. For a man surrounded by naked ladies and adoring fans, it’s hard to track the exact moment he made it. But rocking out with AC/DC in the middle of Central Park, as throngs of fans clamor to get a piece of you, seems like it comes pretty close. You can actually see Stern go from hit host to radio god in this clip, as “You Shook Me All Night Long” blasts in the background.


8. Judas Priest meets The Simpsons

When you want to blast a bunch of peace-loving hippies out on their asses, you’re going to need some death metal. At least, that’s what the folks at The Simpsons thought when they set up this cameo from the metal gods. Unfortunately, thanks to a hearty online backlash, the writers of the classic series were soon informed that Judas Priest, while many things, are not in fact “death metal.” This led to the most Simpson-esque apology ever. Rock on, Bartman. Rock on.


7. Anthrax on Married…With Children

What do you get when Married…with Children spoofs My Dinner With Andre, substituting the erudite playwrights for a band so metal they piss rust? Well, for starters, a lot of headbanging, property destruction and blown eardrums. And much like everything else in life, Al seems to have missed the fun.


6. Motorhead rocks out on The Young Ones

The Young Ones didn’t just premiere on BBC2 in 1982 — it kicked the doors down to a new way of doing comedy. A full-on assault on the staid state of sitcoms, the show brought a punk rock vibe to the tired format, and in the process helped jumpstart a comedy revolution. For instance, where an old sitcom would just cut from one scene to the next, The Young Ones choose to have Lemmy and his crew deliver a raw version of “Ace of Spades.” The general attitude seemed to be, you don’t like this? Well, then F— you!


5. Red and Kitty Meet Kiss on That ’70s Show

Carsey-Werner Productions

Carsey-Werner Productions

Long before they were banished to playing arena football games, Kiss was the hottest ticket in rock. The gang from That ’70s Show got to live out every ’70s teen’s dream when they were set loose backstage at a Kiss concert, taking full advantage of groupies, ganja and hard rock.


4. Ronnie James Dio in Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny (NSFW, people!)

What does a young boy do when he was born to rock, and the world won’t let him? What tight compadre does he pray to for guidance and some sweet licks? If you’re a young Jables, half of “the world’s most awesome band,” you bow your head to Ronnie James Dio, aka the guy who freaking taught the world how to do the “Metal Horns.” Never before has a rock god been so literal than in this clip that turns it up to eleven.


3. Ozzy Osbourne in Trick or Treat

It’s hard to tell if Ozzy was trying his hardest here, or just didn’t give a flying f–k. What is clear is that, either way, it doesn’t really matter. Ozzy’s approach to acting seems to lean more heavily on Jack Daniels than sense memory, and yet seeing the slurry English rocker play a sex-obsessed televangelist is so ridiculous, he gets a free pass. Taking part in the cult horror Trick or Treat, Ozzy proves that he makes things better just by showing up. Because that’s exactly what he did here. Showed up. And it rocks.


2. Glenn Danzig on Portlandia

Danzig seems to be coming out of a self imposed exile these days. He just signed with a record company, and his appearance on Portlandia is reminding everyone how kick ass he truly is. Who else but “The Other Man in Black” could help Portland’s resident goths figure out what to wear to the beach? Carrie Brownstein called Danzig “amazing,” and he called Fred “a genius,” so this was a rare love fest for the progenitor of horror punk.


1. Alice Cooper in Wayne’s World

It’s surprising, sure, but for a scene that contains no music whatsoever, it’s probably the most famous metal moment in the history of film. When Alice Cooper informed Wayne and Garth that Milwaukee is actually pronounced “Milly-way-kay” back in 1992, he created one of the most famous scenes in comedy history. What’s more metal than that? Much like Wayne and Garth, we truly are not worthy.

INDIE EAR MADNESS ’09: 2nd Round (Midwest, East)

INDIE EAR MADNESS ’09:  2nd Round (Midwest, East) (photo)

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The Boss takes on Mr. Lif, The New Pornographers do battle, and Kanye West goes head-to-head against his Viagra buddy:

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INDIE EAR MADNESS ’09: 2nd Round (West, South)

INDIE EAR MADNESS ’09:  2nd Round (West, South) (photo)

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The big names advance, Dan Auerbach has a one-of-a-kind conflict, and after toppling Coldplay in first round competition, will Thunderheist’s Cinderella run continue?

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