DID YOU READ

LISTS: Top 10 Baby Album Covers

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Last month, when Morrissey released his new album, Years of Refusal–featuring a picture of him toting a toddler under his arm–a few blog postings popped up on the internet recalling other musical artists that have used infant children as cover babies for their album. I also came across this list recently, which features just about everyone you can think of.

Many times artists like to use their own baby photos for the front of their album to contrast where they are in life to where they’ve been. And then sometimes I’m sure artists just go for the infant album cover to elicit some oohs and ahs from their fan base (cause, c’mon, who can’t resist a cute baby?).

There have been many babies on album artwork over the years, but I decided to whittle it down to the 10 best today. So get your binkies and your formula ready–here are the Top 10 Baby Album Covers of All-Time:

10. Shakira, Oral Fixation, Vol. 2
This album cover always cracked me up just for the fact that it looks like the infant has no intention of grabbing for the apple in Shakira’s right hand.

9. Morrissey, Years of Refusal
I know the album just came out in February, but how awesome is this picture of Moz? He’s holding that baby with about as much enthusiasm as carrying a sack of groceries. The album title, Years of Refusal, also makes you wonder if the (legendary for his bouts of celibacy) Morrissey is ready to have kids, or the exact opposite.

8. Lil’ Wayne, Tha Carter III
Continuing in the tradition of rappers putting youngsters on their album covers (Notorious B.I.G., Nas, The Game), a young Lil’ Wayne graces his most critically acclaimed work to date. Every time I see the album cover–and though I’m 99.9% sure I know the answer–I always wonder if his tattoos are real? How gangsta would it be for an infant to have facial tattoos?

7. Everclear, Sparkle and Fade
Technically, there’s only one baby on the cover of this album. Childhood pictures of Everclear’s Craig Montoya (left) and Art Alexakis (middle) clearly show the boys have grown past their infant stage. The same can’t be said about the baby picture of drummer, Greg Eklund (right), who seems to be completely thrilled that he’s either covered in pooh or chocolate pudding.

6. The Cure, Galore (The Singles 1987-1998)
How can you go wrong with two of the greatest blessings the world has to offer? Babies and ice cream! On top of that, this album is packed with The Cure’s catchiest hits.

5. The Beatles, Yesterday and Today
In 1966 the lovable, huggable Beatles suffered their first round of public criticism when they decided to release an album whose cover featured a picture of the band dressed in butcher smocks, smeared with pieces of meat and baby doll parts. After negative reaction from the “butcher cover,” Capitol recalled Yesterday and Today–making it the only Beatles album that Capitol ever lost money on. This little episode of butchers gone bad gave The Beatles some on-the-job training in out-of-the-box thinking.

4. Sebadoh, Bakesale
Bakesale bares the picture of a naked baby boy playing in the toilet (i.e., Sebadoh founder, Lou Barlow). Many consider this to be Sebadoh’s tightest and most concise album, and for anyone who was a college DJ back in the 90’s, the mere sight of Bakesale’s cover will take you back in time and flood your brain with a whole bunch of good memories.

3. Van Halen, 1984
That’s one bad baby, huh? Not only is this an unforgettable album cover from the 80’s, 1984 also boasts some of Van Halen’s biggest hits to date: “Jump,” “Panama,” and “Hot For Teacher.” This was also David Lee Roth’s swan song with the group–maybe that has something to do with the album cover being so memorable?

2. The Notorious B.I.G., Ready To Die
An etched-in-the-memory album cover from the Notorious B.I.G.’s debut album. Mention Ready To Die’s artwork, and any hip-hop fan will respond, “Baby with the afro sittin’ in his diaper” The prophetic picture says it all–Biggie was ready to die ever since he was born.

1. Nirvana, Nevermind
Not only the top baby album cover of all-time, but maybe one of the most iconic covers in music history as well. A baby swimming towards a one-dollar bill–did it represent Nirvana selling out? Did it symbolize the moment Kurt Cobain lost the innocence of his childhood? Are we baited into greed as soon as we leave the womb? Or was Nirvana just being cute (on a couple different levels)? The debate began in 1991 and continues today.

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Very NSFW

The Brockmire Premiere Is All Truth

Watch The First Episode of Brockmire Right Now for Free

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At long last, the Brockmire pre-premiere has arrived. Which means you can watch it right now—on IFC.com, at Funny Or Die, on IFC’s Apple TV and mobile apps, on Youtube, on Facebook, on the AMC apps, and right here. So grab some headphones and get watching.

No seriously, get headphones.

Because whether he’s giving a play-by-play or ruminating on the world around him, Jim Brockmire calls it like he sees it. And how he sees it is very NSFW. His take on life is actually quite refreshing, even to the point of being profoundly sage. For proof just look at these pearls of unconventional wisdom from the premiere…

Brockmire On The Internet

“If I need porn I just buy a nudie mag, like my father and his father before him.”

Brockmire On Sex-Ed

“Kids, a strap-on is a belt with d— on it that mommies use to f— daddies.”
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Brockmire On The Perfect High

“Somewhere between 10 cups of coffee and very low-grade cocaine.”
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Brockmire On The Tardiness of Spring

“Old man winter’s reaching his hand inside your coat to give that thing one more squeeze.”

Brockmire On Keeping Perspective

“I thought I hit rock bottom in a handicap restroom in Bangkok where a Thai lady-boy snorted crank off my johnson while a sunburnt German watched us on the toilet”
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Brockmire On Humanity

“If you want to look directly into the gaping maw of oblivion, don’t look up to the heavens. Just look in the mirror.”
Jules-never-seen

See these nuggets and more in the first episode of Brockmire, and see the whole season beginning April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Thank Azaria

Best. Characters. Ever.

Our favorite Hank Azaria characters.

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Hank Azaria may well be the most prolific voice and character actor of our time. The work he’s done for The Simpsons alone has earned him a permanent place in the pop culture zeitgeist. And now he’s bringing another character to the mainstream: a washed-up sports announcer named Jim Brockmire, in the aptly titled new series Brockmire.

We’re looking forward to it. So much so that we want to look backward, too, with a short-but-sweet retrospective of some of Azaria’s important characters. Shall we begin?

Half The Recurring Simpsons Characters

He’s Comic Book Guy. He’s Chief Wiggum. He’s Apu. He’s Cletus. He’s Snake. He’s Superintendent Chalmers. He’s the Sea Captain. He’s Kurt “Can I Borrow A Feeling” Van Houten. He’s Professor Frink. He’s Carl. And he’s many more. But most importantly he’s Moe Szyslak, the staple character Azaria has voiced since his very first audition for The Simpsons.

Oh, and He’s Frank Grimes

For all the regular Simpsons characters Azaria has played over the years, his most brilliant performance may have been a one-off: Frank Grimes, the scrappy bootstrapper who worked tirelessly all his life for honest, incremental, and easily-undermined success. Azaria’s portrayal of this character was nuanced, emotional, and simply magical.

Patches O’Houlihan

Dodgeball is a “sport of violence, exclusion and degradation.” as Hank Azaria generously points out in his brief but crucial cameo in Dodgeball. That’s sage wisdom. Try applying his “five D’s” to your life on and off the court and enjoy the results.

Harold Zoid

Of Futurama fame. The crazy uncle of Dr. Zoidberg, Harold Zoid was once a lion (or lobster) of the silver screen until Smell-o-vision forced him into retirement.

Agador

The Birdcage was significant for many reasons, and the comic genius of Hank Azaria’s character “Agador” sits somewhere towards the top of that list. If you haven’t seen this movie, shame on you.

Gargamel

Nobody else could make a live-action Gargamel possible.

Ed Cochran

From Ray Donovan. Great character, great last name [editorial note: the author of this article may be bias].

Kahmunra, The Thinker, Abe Lincoln

All in the Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian, a file that let Azaria flex his voice acting and live-action muscles in one fell swoop.

The Blue Raja

Mystery Men has everything, including a fatal case of Smash Mouth. Azaria’s iconic superhero makes the shortlist of redeemable qualities, though.

Dr. Huff

Huff put Azaria in a leading role, and it was good. So good that there is no good gif of it. Internet? More like Inter-not.

Learn more about Hank Azaria’s newest claim to fame right here, and don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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Flame Out

Brockmire and Other Public Implosions

Brockmire Premieres April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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There’s less than a month until the Brockmire premiere, and to say we’re excited would be an insulting understatement. It’s not just that it stars Hank Azaria, who can do no wrong (and yes, that’s including Mystery Men, which is only cringeworthy because of Smash Mouth). It’s that the whole backstory of the titular character, Jim Brockmire, is the stuff of legends. A one-time iconic sportscaster who won the hearts of fans and players alike, he fell from grace after an unfortunate personal event triggered a seriously public meltdown. See for yourself in the NSFW Funny or Die digital short that spawned the IFC series:

See? NSFW and spectacularly catastrophic in a way that could almost be real. Which got us thinking: What are some real-life sports fails that have nothing to do with botched athletics and everything to do with going tragically off script? The internet is a dark and dirty place, friends, but these three examples are pretty special and mostly safe for work…

Disgruntled Sports Reporter

His co-anchor went offsides and he called it like he saw it.

Jim Rome vs Jim “Not Chris” Everett

You just don’t heckle a professional athlete when you’re within striking distance. Common sense.

Carl Lewis’s National Anthem

He killed it! As in murdered. It’s dead.

To see more moments just like these, we recommend spending a day in your pajamas combing through the muckiness of the internet. But to see something that’s Brockmire-level funny without having to clear your browser history, check out the sneak peeks and extras here.

Don’t miss the premiere of Brockmire April 5 at 10P on IFC.

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