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LISTS: The Great & Potentially Great Rock Star Bands

LISTS:  The Great & Potentially Great Rock Star Bands (photo)

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Rock Stars–if they’re not already–should be placed on the endangered species list. In 2009, we speak of them in the past tense. It has been so long since we’ve had a Rock Star, we don’t even know what a real one is anymore.

(left: Is Queen one of the greatest Rock Star bands? You better believe it!)

The word “Rock Star” has become a disposable noun. If little Johnny scores a goal in his pee-wee soccer game, you may hear his mother calling him a Rock Star from the sidelines. He is no more a Rock Star than he is a cavalier, a knight, or a conquistador–titles that meant something back in the day, that described a person who did more than squeeze an orange wedge between his teeth and kick a ball passed another seven-year old kid.

So it can be recorded in the annals of history, here are some of the greatest Rock Star bands of all-time. (Note: You’ll notice the absence of The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, and The Who from this list. Why? Well, as I’m sure you know: the sky is blue and water is wet.)

10. Green Day
Who knew years ago that Billie Joe Armstrong’s punk rock ditties could translate into sold-out-stadium anthems?

9. Kiss
Kiss isn’t just a band, they’re a brand. They could make a living just off their merchandise alone. Superheroes playing music? Or musicians playing superheroes? You be the judge.

8. Nirvana
If your band is credited for changing the musical landscape of an entire generation, then yes, you are Rock Stars.

7. Guns N Roses
Headline-grabbing lead singer, iconic guitar player with amazing licks, sold-out-stadium shows, biggest-band-in-the-world status, and eventual implosion. Looks like they learned from the best.

6. AC/DC
There’s a reason they’re called power chords.

5. Metallica
Ferocious bay-area thrash metal band that has built up such a reputation, they can sell out a coliseum in any country of the world (and probably do it in just a few minutes).

4. Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band
Don’t think songs about everyday-America can fill stadium seats? Think again. Bruce Springsteen isn’t called The Boss for nothing.

3. U2
One of life’s great mysteries. How do you not age, stay socially conscious despite having more money than you know what to do with, make hit after hit, and still stay relevant and fresh after all these years?

2. Queen
Close your eyes. Hum yourself a Queen song. There’s no way that song is being performed in a 200-capacity club.
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1. Led Zeppelin
Rock Stars? They wrote the book on it–really. Ever read Hammer of The Gods?

(left to right: Led Zeppelin’s Robert Plant and Jimmy Page.)

Don’t lose hope just yet. Here’s a list of bands that have potential of wielding Rock Star status:

10. Fall Out Boy
The most popular member of the group is their bassist. We just need some people to start recognizing their lead singer and then we’ll be in business.

9. The Mars Volta
If they weren’t so damn stubborn and could keep their songs more focused…

8. Kings of Leon
If only they were a band in the 70’s.

7. Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Nick and Brian need to be more vocal and compelling in interviews, otherwise the Rock Star burden is always going to fall on Karen O’s shoulders.

6. Vampire Weekend
In a different musical climate, they’d be a couple steps higher in their climb to superstardom.

5. My Chemical Romance
They’ve got some really “big” songs, but half of America still thinks they’re emo.

4. The Killers
If the members of The Killers were more exciting behind-the-scenes, they might have a better chance of making the list above.

3. Coldplay
How to get out of the shadow of U2?
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2. The White Stripes
Can you say “bass?”

1. Muse (right)
Their rocket is ready to launch. They’re just waiting for America to press the ignition button.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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WTF Films

Artfully Off

Celebrity All-Star by Sisters Weekend is available now on IFC's Comedy Crib.

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Sisters Weekend isn’t like other comedy groups. It’s filmmaking collaboration between besties Angelo Balassone, Michael Fails and Kat Tadesco, self-described lace-front addicts with great legs who write, direct, design and produce video sketches and cinematic shorts that are so surreally hilarious that they defy categorization. One such short film, Celebrity All-Star, is the newest addition to IFC’s Comedy Crib. Here’s what they had to say about it in a very personal email interview…

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IFC: How would you describe Celebrity All-Star to a fancy network executive you just met in an elevator?

Celebrity All-Star is a short film about an overworked reality TV coordinator struggling to save her one night off after the cast of C-List celebrities she wrangles gets locked out of their hotel rooms.

IFC: How would you describe Celebrity All-Star to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Sisters Weekend: It’s this short we made for IFC where a talent coordinator named Karen babysits a bunch of weird c-list celebs who are stuck in a hotel bar. It’s everyone you hate from reality TV under one roof – and that roof leaks because it’s a 2-star hotel. There’s a magician, sexy cowboys, and a guy wearing a belt that sucks up his farts.

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IFC: What was the genesis of Celebrity All-Star?

Celebrity All-Star was born from our love of embarrassing celebrities. We love a good c-lister in need of a paycheck! We were really interested in the canned politeness people give off when forced to mingle with strangers. The backstory we created is that the cast of this reality show called “Celebrity All-Star” is in the middle of a mandatory round of “get to know each other” drinks in the hotel bar when the room keys stop working. Shows like Celebrity Ghost Hunters and of course The Surreal Life were of inspo, but we thought it
was funny to keep it really vague what kind of show they’re on, and just focus on everyone’s diva antics after the cameras stop rolling.

IFC: Every celebrity in Celebrity All-Star seems familiar. What real-life pop personalities did you look to for inspiration?

Sisters Weekend: Anyone who is trying to plug their branded merch that no one asked for. We love low-rent celebrity. We did, however, directly reference Kylie Jenner’s turd-raison lip color for our fictional teen celebutante Gibby Kyle (played by Mary Houlihan).

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IFC: Celebrity seems disgusting yet desirable. What’s your POV? Do you crave it, hate it, or both?

Sisters Weekend: A lot of people chase fame. If you’re practical, you’ll likely switch to chasing success and if you’re smart, you’ll hopefully switch to chasing happiness. But also, “We need money. We need hits. Hits bring money, money bring power, power bring fame, fame change the game,” Young Thug.

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IFC: Who are your comedy idols?

Sisters Weekend: Mike grew up renting “Monty Python” tapes from the library and staying up late to watch 2000’s SNL, Kat was super into Andy Kaufman and “Kids In The Hall” in high school, and Angelo was heavily influenced by “Strangers With Candy” and Anna Faris in the Scary Movie franchise, so, our comedy heroes mesh from all over. But, also we idolize a lot of the people we work with in NY-  Lorelei Ramirez, Erin Markey, Mary Houlihan, who are all in the film, Amy Zimmer, Ana Fabrega, Patti Harrison, Sam Taggart. Geniuses! All of Em!

IFC: What’s your favorite moment from the film?

Sisters Weekend: I mean…seeing Mary Houlihan scream at an insane Pomeranian on an iPad is pretty great.

See Sisters Weekend right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib

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