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LISTS: Fat Tuesday’s Top 10 Fat People In Music

LISTS:  Fat Tuesday’s Top 10 Fat People In Music (photo)

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In honor of Fat Tuesday (see also: Mardi Grad, Carnival, Shrove Tuesday), I’ve decided to compile a list of the Top 10 Fat People in Music. Before you cite me for a politically incorrect party foul, let it be known that I am not making fun of the following artists. It should also be pointed out that most of the artists making today’s list are not ashamed–and are even proud–of carrying around a few extra pounds.

10. Elvis
When compared to skinny-hip-shakin’-Elvis, fat-Elvis isn’t even in the same league. But let’s face it, even an Elvis not operating at 100% is better than most artists on their best day (and aren’t Kings supposed to be fat anyway?). Without fat-Elvis we’d also never have all the side-burn, jumpsuit-wearing imitators that make a living embracing Elvis’ late-career girth.

(left: Some may say that Les Savy Fav frontman Tim Harrington’s tummy is more famous than Tim Harrington himself.)

9. Damien Abraham
Damian Abraham, the somewhat chunky frontman of the Canadian punk band, Fucked Up, both frightens and fascinates me. He has also threatened to light Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger’s hair on fire if his band wins a Juno Award this year. Showing off his round, hairy chest on stage is enough to make this list, the latter anecdote is what we call “brownie points.”

8. The Fat Boys
Old-school hip-hop has many big boys to chose from: Afrika Bambaataa, KRS-One, De La Soul, Yo! MTV Raps’ Dr. Dre, Chubb Rock, MC Serch, and even Run-DMC’s Joseph Simmons got round with age. The Fat Boys, who may not boast the hits or popularity of the artists mentioned above, make the list just because their name was always so literal. The Fat Boys were–well–fat boys!

7. Fat Joe
For the same reason mentioned above Fat Joe makes the cut. His nom de plume is not just a clever nickname.

6. Tim Harrington
If you’ve ever seen Les Savy Fav live, than I’m sure you’ve seen the beach ball-sized tummy of out-of-his-mind, off-his-rocker frontman, Tim Harrington. At last year’s Pitchfork Festival, Harrington smeared his stomach in mud and began scripting his band’s initials on it. If he was petite–say like Prince–do you think I would have been able to make out “LSF” fifty yards away from the stage?

5. Beth Ditto
Call Beth Ditto “fat” and she’ll wear it like a badge. The lead singer of The Gossip doesn’t have a problem with flaunting her stuff either, as she’s done during many live performances and magazine photo spreads. Do a quick Google search if you don’t believe me.

4. M.I.A.
I wanted to squeeze M.I.A. on this list before she sheds all of her post baby weight. Any time you can get a genre bending, Grammy and Oscar nominated MC (who’s willing to perform pregnant) on any type of list–you do it.

3. Frank Black
Major label A&R people are probably still mystified that the Pixies’ Frank Black–who looks like a retired professional wrestler–is still more of a rock star than most of the artists on their roster.

2. Aretha Franklin
I kind of like the fact that Aretha Franklin gets a little larger every time you see her. I’m convinced that if she was thinner her voice wouldn’t be nearly as powerful.

1. Notorious B.I.G.
Some have called the Notorious B.I.G. the greatest rapper of all-time. I still believe KRS-One holds that distinction, but because I wasn’t sure if KRS-One was fat enough to make this list, Biggie Smalls takes home the #1 spot. He also embraced his fatness more than the Blastmaster. If Biggie Smalls was svelte like LL Cool J, his stage name and most of his lyrics wouldn’t have the same ring: I like it when you call me Big Poppa.

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Hacked In

Funny or Die Is Taking Over

FOD TV comes to IFC every Saturday night.

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We’ve been fans of Funny or Die since we first met The Landlord. That enduring love makes it more than logical, then, that IFC is totally cool with FOD hijacking the airwaves every Saturday night. Yes, that’s happening.

The appropriately titled FOD TV looks like something pulled from public access television in the nineties. Like lo-fi broken-antenna reception and warped VHS tapes. Equal parts WTF and UHF.

Get ready for characters including The Shirtless Painter, Long-Haired Businessmen, and Pigeon Man. They’re aptly named, but for a better sense of what’s in store, here’s a taste of ASMR with Kelly Whispers:

Watch FOD TV every Saturday night during IFC’s regularly scheduled movies.

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Wicked Good

See More Evil

Stan Against Evil Season 1 is on Hulu.

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Okay, so you missed the entire first season of Stan Against Evil. There’s no shame in that, per se. But here’s the thing: Season 2 is just around the corner and you don’t want to lag behind. After all, Season 1 had some critical character development, not to mention countless plot twists, and a breathless finale cliffhanger that’s been begging for resolution since last fall. It also had this:

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The good news is that you can catch up right now on Hulu. Phew. But if you aren’t streaming yet, here’s a basic primer…

Willards Mill Is Evil

Stan spent his whole career as sheriff oblivious to the fact that his town has a nasty curse. Mostly because his recently-deceased wife was secretly killing demons and keeping Stan alive.

Demons Really Want To Kill Stan

The curse on Willards Mill stipulates that damned souls must hunt and kill each and every town sheriff, or “constable.” Oh, and these demons are shockingly creative.

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They Also Want To Kill Evie

Why? Because Evie’s a sheriff too, and the curse on Willard’s Mill doesn’t have a “one at a time” clause. Bummer, Evie.

Stan and Evie Must Work Together

Beating the curse will take two, baby, but that’s easier said than done because Stan doesn’t always seem to give a damn. Damn!

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Beware of Goats

It goes without saying for anyone who’s seen the show: If you know that ancient evil wants to kill you, be wary of anything that has cloven feet.

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Season 2 Is Lurking

Scary new things are slouching towards Willards Mill. An impending darkness descending on Stan, Evie and their cohort – eviler evil, more demony demons, and whatnot. And if Stan wants to survive, he’ll have to get even Stanlier.

Stan Against Evil Season 1 is now streaming right now on Hulu.

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SO EXCITED!!!

Reminders that the ’90s were a thing

"The Place We Live" is available for a Jessie Spano-level binge on Comedy Crib.

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Unless you stopped paying attention to the world at large in 1989, you are of course aware that the ’90s are having their pop cultural second coming. Nobody is more acutely aware of this than Dara Katz and Betsy Kenney, two comedians who met doing improv comedy and have just made their Comedy Crib debut with the hilarious ’90s TV throwback series, The Place We Live.

IFC: How would you describe “The Place We Live” to a fancy network executive you just met in an elevator?

Dara: It’s everything you loved–or loved to hate—from Melrose Place and 90210 but condensed to five minutes, funny (on purpose) and totally absurd.

IFC: How would you describe “The Place We Live” to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Betsy: “Hey Todd, why don’t you have a sip of water. Also, I think you’ll love The Place We Live because everyone has issues…just like you, Todd.”

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IFC: When you were living through the ’90s, did you think it was television’s golden age or the pop culture apocalypse?


Betsy: I wasn’t sure I knew what it was, I just knew I loved it!


Dara: Same. Was just happy that my parents let me watch. But looking back, the ’90s honored The Teen. And for that, it’s the golden age of pop culture. 

IFC: Which ’90s shows did you mine for the series, and why?

Betsy: Melrose and 90210 for the most part. If you watch an episode of either of those shows you’ll see they’re a comedic gold mine. In one single episode, they cover serious crimes, drug problems, sex and working in a law firm and/or gallery, all while being young, hot and skinny.


Dara: And almost any series we were watching in the ’90s, Full House, Saved By the Bell, My So Called Life has very similar themes, archetypes and really stupid-intense drama. We took from a lot of places. 

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IFC: How would you describe each of the show’s characters in terms of their ’90s TV stereotype?

Dara: Autumn (Sunita Mani) is the femme fatale. Robin (Dara Katz) is the book worm (because she wears glasses). Candace (Betsy Kenney) is Corey’s twin and gives great advice and has really great hair. Corey (Casey Jost) is the boy next door/popular guy. Candace and Corey’s parents decided to live in a car so the gang can live in their house. 
Lee (Jonathan Braylock) is the jock.

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Dara: Because everyone’s feeling major ’90s nostalgia right now, and this is that, on steroids while also being a totally new, silly thing.

Delight in the whole season of The Place We Live right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib. It’ll take you back in all the right ways.