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DID YOU READ

10RW: Bret Michaels Would Love “The Wrestler”

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Before he became a reality show master of ceremonies, Bret Michaels was the tight-pants-wearing frontman of the 1980s pop-metal band, Poison.

(left: Ram Jam! Ram Jam! Ram Jam!)

If Michaels hasn’t had a chance to see the critically acclaimed film, The Wrestler, yet–or any other rocker that yearns for the decadent days of the 1980s–here’s 10 Reasons Why they won’t leave the theater disappointed:

#10. Share the Pain
Sure, getting shot with a staple gun in a hardcore match hurts, but that doesn’t compare to the rise and painful fall of an ’80s icon. I’m sure Randy “The Ram” Robinson’s (Mickey Rourke) story hits close to home for many rockers who lived fast in the 80’s. When the looks go and the body ages, regret kicks in and drugs become your best (and worst) friend.

#9. Satin Jackets
During a trip to the vintage clothing store to buy a gift for his estranged daughter Stephanie, The Ram can’t take his eyes off a green stain jacket emblazoned with a large letter “S”. C’mon, what ’80s rock star wouldn’t choose a shiny, green satin jacket over a black pea coat?

#8. Neon Tights
This one is pretty much self-explanatory. After seeing this movie, I guarantee Bret Michaels will return home, open his memory trunk, and embrace his favorite pair of spandex pants.

#7. ’80s Rock Chicks
Yep, they’re still around. If you want a good one though, you won’t find one under the age of 35. No worries, because Cassidy (Marissa Tomei) still has her looks, isn’t afraid to profess her love for Motley Crue and Def Leppard, and will even join you in a sing-a-long to Ratt’s “Round and Round.”

#6. Bleached Blonde Hair
C’mon you didn’t think The Ram was a natural blonde, did you? In The Wrestler we see The Ram hit up a beauty saloon for a bleach job, and later do the deed at home with a store bought kit. The Ram–like many rock stars–completes the Sunset Strip look with a visit to the tanning parlor. Vince Neil, if you haven’t seen the film either, you’re going to love it too!

#5. Nintendo
The Ram still owns an Nintendo Entertainment System, and even though today’s kids are weaned on games much more complex, The Ram thoroughly defeats a neighborhood kid in an old-school wrestling video game (playing as his own character no less). The winning move? A (16-bit) Ram Jam off the top rope.

#4. Living Vicariously Through Mickey Rourke
For any Headbanger’s Ball alum who thought their days in the limelight were over, look no further than Mickey Rourke. If he can make a hit this deep into his career–who’s to say Cinderella can’t do the same?

#3. Jersey Pride
The Wrestler not only takes place in New Jersey–home of Bon Jovi–but Bruce Springsteen (the King of the Garden State) also contributes an original song to the film (“The Wrestler”), which, oh by the way, won a Golden Globe for Best Original Song (as did Mickey Rourke for Best Performance by an Actor).

#2. 1980’s Theme Music
The Ram represents his favorite decade with pride by walking down the aisle to both Quiet Riot’s “Bang Your Head” and Guns N’ Roses, “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” which apparently Axl Rose allowed the film to use for free (since they were on such a shoestring budget).

#1. ’90s Sucked!
For all the acclaim that critics heave upon the alternative 90’s–the decade that was responsible for putting the last nail in the coffin for hair-metal music–Brett Michaels and the rest of his poofy-hair peers will revel in The Ram’s diatribe against the decade: Then that Cobain pussy had to come around and ruin it all, you know? Nineties fucking sucked.

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Hacked In

Funny or Die Is Taking Over

FOD TV comes to IFC every Saturday night.

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We’ve been fans of Funny or Die since we first met The Landlord. That enduring love makes it more than logical, then, that IFC is totally cool with FOD hijacking the airwaves every Saturday night. Yes, that’s happening.

The appropriately titled FOD TV looks like something pulled from public access television in the nineties. Like lo-fi broken-antenna reception and warped VHS tapes. Equal parts WTF and UHF.

Get ready for characters including The Shirtless Painter, Long-Haired Businessmen, and Pigeon Man. They’re aptly named, but for a better sense of what’s in store, here’s a taste of ASMR with Kelly Whispers:

Watch FOD TV every Saturday night during IFC’s regularly scheduled movies.

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Wicked Good

See More Evil

Stan Against Evil Season 1 is on Hulu.

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Okay, so you missed the entire first season of Stan Against Evil. There’s no shame in that, per se. But here’s the thing: Season 2 is just around the corner and you don’t want to lag behind. After all, Season 1 had some critical character development, not to mention countless plot twists, and a breathless finale cliffhanger that’s been begging for resolution since last fall. It also had this:

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The good news is that you can catch up right now on Hulu. Phew. But if you aren’t streaming yet, here’s a basic primer…

Willards Mill Is Evil

Stan spent his whole career as sheriff oblivious to the fact that his town has a nasty curse. Mostly because his recently-deceased wife was secretly killing demons and keeping Stan alive.

Demons Really Want To Kill Stan

The curse on Willards Mill stipulates that damned souls must hunt and kill each and every town sheriff, or “constable.” Oh, and these demons are shockingly creative.

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They Also Want To Kill Evie

Why? Because Evie’s a sheriff too, and the curse on Willard’s Mill doesn’t have a “one at a time” clause. Bummer, Evie.

Stan and Evie Must Work Together

Beating the curse will take two, baby, but that’s easier said than done because Stan doesn’t always seem to give a damn. Damn!

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Beware of Goats

It goes without saying for anyone who’s seen the show: If you know that ancient evil wants to kill you, be wary of anything that has cloven feet.

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Season 2 Is Lurking

Scary new things are slouching towards Willards Mill. An impending darkness descending on Stan, Evie and their cohort – eviler evil, more demony demons, and whatnot. And if Stan wants to survive, he’ll have to get even Stanlier.

Stan Against Evil Season 1 is now streaming right now on Hulu.

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SO EXCITED!!!

Reminders that the ’90s were a thing

"The Place We Live" is available for a Jessie Spano-level binge on Comedy Crib.

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Unless you stopped paying attention to the world at large in 1989, you are of course aware that the ’90s are having their pop cultural second coming. Nobody is more acutely aware of this than Dara Katz and Betsy Kenney, two comedians who met doing improv comedy and have just made their Comedy Crib debut with the hilarious ’90s TV throwback series, The Place We Live.

IFC: How would you describe “The Place We Live” to a fancy network executive you just met in an elevator?

Dara: It’s everything you loved–or loved to hate—from Melrose Place and 90210 but condensed to five minutes, funny (on purpose) and totally absurd.

IFC: How would you describe “The Place We Live” to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Betsy: “Hey Todd, why don’t you have a sip of water. Also, I think you’ll love The Place We Live because everyone has issues…just like you, Todd.”

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IFC: When you were living through the ’90s, did you think it was television’s golden age or the pop culture apocalypse?


Betsy: I wasn’t sure I knew what it was, I just knew I loved it!


Dara: Same. Was just happy that my parents let me watch. But looking back, the ’90s honored The Teen. And for that, it’s the golden age of pop culture. 

IFC: Which ’90s shows did you mine for the series, and why?

Betsy: Melrose and 90210 for the most part. If you watch an episode of either of those shows you’ll see they’re a comedic gold mine. In one single episode, they cover serious crimes, drug problems, sex and working in a law firm and/or gallery, all while being young, hot and skinny.


Dara: And almost any series we were watching in the ’90s, Full House, Saved By the Bell, My So Called Life has very similar themes, archetypes and really stupid-intense drama. We took from a lot of places. 

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IFC: How would you describe each of the show’s characters in terms of their ’90s TV stereotype?

Dara: Autumn (Sunita Mani) is the femme fatale. Robin (Dara Katz) is the book worm (because she wears glasses). Candace (Betsy Kenney) is Corey’s twin and gives great advice and has really great hair. Corey (Casey Jost) is the boy next door/popular guy. Candace and Corey’s parents decided to live in a car so the gang can live in their house. 
Lee (Jonathan Braylock) is the jock.

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Dara: Because everyone’s feeling major ’90s nostalgia right now, and this is that, on steroids while also being a totally new, silly thing.

Delight in the whole season of The Place We Live right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib. It’ll take you back in all the right ways.