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TALK: Material Girl Vs. Scientists of Sound

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Today my friend Peter is in town, and he will be taking me to my first ever Madonna concert.

(left: Peter and Jim go at it in a no holds barred, Madonna/B-Boy battle.)

Over the years Peter has amazed me with his vast knowledge of the Material Girl. His excitement and passion for all things Madonna reminds me of, well, my excitement and passion for the Beastie Boys. Because it would be nearly impossible to determine if I am a bigger Beastie Boys buff than Peter is a Madonna fan, we decided to school each other on our respective obsessions.

Do I know more about Madonna than Peter knows about the Beastie Boys? We find out right now:

Something Everyone Should Know About This Artist

Jim: The Beastie Boys are widely known for their creative music videos. They’re probably best known for one they made in the 80’s and one they made in the 90’s. Name at least one of these videos.

Peter: Well, I think I know the video in the 80’s that you are referring to, but I can’t think of the title. It escapes me at the moment. (Is it one that Spike Jonze directed?) The one from the 90’s that I saw the most was “Intergalactic,” which featured the colossal robots. Very creative! Being a video visionary is something that the Beastie Boys have in common with Madonna, so that’s a great common ground to begin this “exploration.” 🙂

Jim: Their most mainstream video from the 80’s was “Fight For Your Right To Party,” which they performed live when they opened up for Madonna on her “Like A Virgin” Tour. In the 90’s they’re probably most well-known for “Sabotage,” which was directed by Spike Jonze. You managed to spit out Spike Jonze and “Intergalactic,” so I think that deserves at least one point.

Peter: Well, thanks! I think “Sabotage” was the one I was thinking of, for sure. I didn’t realize that was a 90s release. I’m glad you’ve already pointed out another connection between Madonna and the Beastie Boys — performing on her Virgin Tour! So, now that I’ve scored one point, it’s time for you to score your first point. It’s an easy one. TRUE or FALSE: “Madonna” is the “real” (e.g., given) name of the artist we all know by that one name.

Jim: I’ll say “true.” Any extra points for knowing her real last name, Ciccone?

Peter: Correct! And you definitely get extra points for knowing her last name. There is a little misconception out there that Madonna “adopted” a “stage name,” but that’s not true. Madonna is her real first name, as she was named after her mother (and then there is that whole taking on Esther as her spiritual name, but, we still all know her by one name.) Good job, Jim!


Something a Novice Music Fan Should Know About This Artist.

Jim: Speaking of names, and I totally didn’t steal this question from you, name at least two of the Beastie Boys. Stage names and/or real names count on this one.

Peter: I was totally afraid this question was coming. I’m tempted to just be completely wrong by saying Melchior, Caspar, and Balthazar. Is one of them named Daryl? I know that once I hear their stage names, I will be kicking myself, because I have heard/read their names, but I obviously haven’t been able to retain that as easily as “Beastie Boys.”

Jim: Hmm, a Three Kings reference? Nice try, but sorry Peter, you’re not going to milk any points out of me on this one. Here goes:

Adam Yauch, (MCA)
Michael Diamond (Mike D)
Adam Horovitz (Adrock)

Peter: Yeah, flattery will get me nowhere. All right, all right. I admit I needed a little education there. So here goes with my second question:

Madonna’s been churning out chart hits in three decades now — 80’s, 90’s, and 00’s. Name three hits, one from each decade (I’ll let you off the hook with ONLY two, IF, you can name the EXACT two which are the double platinum singles of her career).

Jim: Let’s do this! In the 80’s, I’ll go with “Holiday,” 90’s I’ll say “Human Nature” (the best Madonna ever looked in a music video), and for the 00’s let’s go with “Hung Up.” I wanted to say “Music” but I can’t remember if that was late 90’s or early 00’s.

Peter: Correct on all counts! “Music” was millennial Madonna, released in 2000, and was the first time since “Like a Prayer” (1989) that she had a number one album and number one single simultaneously. (By the way, the two double platinum singles of her career are 1990’s “Vogue” and 2008’s “4 Minutes.” You get extra credit for even knowing “Human Nature,” whose chart performance was less than her usual greatness, but you are absolutely right, the video (directed by Jean-Baptiste Mondino) is a standout amongst her many video masterpieces.

Maybe You’ll Get This, Maybe You Won’t

Jim: For a span of three albums, the Beastie Boys collaborated with this semi-popular, very odd, old-school hip-hop performer. We used to joke that if it were not for the Beastie Boys this MC would be out of work. I’ll give you a couple hints: He pops up frequently as a talking-head on VH1, he was involved in a historic sampling lawsuit, and “nobody beats him.”

Peter: Hmm… I’m going to guess Grandmaster Flash. ? What’s the historic sampling suit? The only major suit that comes to mind for me is the Queen “Under Pressure” / Vanilla Ice “Ice Ice Baby” suit.

Jim: The correct answer is Biz Markie. His song “Alone Again (Naturally)” featured uncleared samples, and in the case of Grand Upright Music, Ltd. v. Warner Bros. Records, Inc., a new precedent in hip-hop was set: all samples must be cleared through their owners before anyone else can use them. By the way, “Nobody Beats the Biz!”

Peter: Clearly, and nobody beats Jim, either! But this is good, I’m learning a lot, and hopefully your readers are, too. By the way, speaking of samples, did you know that ABBA are notoriously protective of their music and very rarely grant permission for samples? Madonna’s “Hung Up” samples their “Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight).”

Speaking of collaborations, Madonna’s “4 Minutes” features Justin Timberlake and Timbaland. Name one other high profile Madonna duet collaboration. I’m thinking vocalists here, not producers.

Jim: It’s good you said “vocalists,” cause I was about to shout out Dennis Rodman and Jose Canseco (laughs). Kanye West does something on her new album, right? If you consider him a vocalist, then I’ll have my point please.

Peter: Congrats! That was one I wasn’t even thinking of, although Mr. West clearly counts (and I should mention Pharrell as well, because he contributes backing vox on the same track, “Beat Goes On.”) Other correct responses include: Prince (“Love Song”), Babyface (“Take a Bow”), Ricky Martin (“Be Careful”), Britney Spears (“Me Against the Music”), and Missy Elliot (“Into the Groove” 2003 remix).

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Something Only a Truly Devoted Fan Would Know

Jim: Do you want to guess MCA’s basketball name? Or the band that played at his wedding?

Peter: Well, I’d like to say that the Beastie Boys and Madonna reunited for the wedding gig, but I know that’s not true. (Let’s be fair, “Like A Virgin” is just not an appropriate selection for the wedding reception playlist.) I’m going to guess something like The Flaming Lips or the Violent Femmes?
Why? No idea. They are just the names that pop to mind.

Jim: Alright, so you went for the band question. Rancid actually played MCA’s wedding reception. His basketball handle, by the way, is “Praying Mantis.”

Peter: Excellent! I hope no one ever steps on him on the court!

My next question is this: Which Madonna video is in the permanent collection in MoMA? If you need a hint, it is shown alongside another video by the same director, Mark Romanek.

Jim: I’m envisioning Madonna wearing a Lone Ranger mask. Am I getting warm? It would have to be something epic, right? Crap. Because I think I’m probably cold, I’ll take a stab at “Frozen?”

Peter: “Frozen” is a nice choice, but ultimately incorrect. The video on display is “Bedtime Story,” reportedly her most expensive video shoot. It’s filled with imagery borrowed from the paintings of female surrealist painters, but no Lone Ranger mask. The other video at MoMA is “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails.

Bordering On Obsession

Jim: As a child Michael Diamond used to trick-or-treat at what Star Wars’ character’s house?

Peter: Toughie! And obscure, but that’s good! So I’ll go with Obi Wan Kenobi. (Yoda would be cool, though! Would be a long trip to another planet.)

Jim: Same side of the force, so I’ll give you half a point. The correct answer is Carrie Fisher, aka, Pricess Leia.

Peter: Ha, that’s great! Okay, last question. On Madonna’s Erotica album, she covers the Peggy Lee classic, “Fever.” This wasn’t the song Madonna originally intended to cover, but another artist (a country music singer) stole Madonna’s thunder and released his own cover first, forcing Madonna to re-consider her track list. What was her first choice?

Jim: No clue.

Peter: “These Boots Are Made for Walkin’,”originally recorded by Nancy Sinatra, was covered by Billy Ray Cyrus in 1992, forcing Madonna to change her plans. Given the astronomical number of covers by other artists (Jessica Simpson, Geri Halliwell, Jewel, Boy George and even LaToya Jackson!), it’s unlikely Madonna will ever follow through on this old idea. Too bad, ’cause Madonna wears a lot of great boots!

Jim: Yes she does! Do I get any extra credit for shouting out the “Don’t Tell Me” video? Gotta love her cowboy attire in that clip. Thanks for playing, and I owe you a Beastie Boys concert when they start touring again.

Peter: Thanks for letting me play! You get extra credit for “Don’t Tell Me” (another great Mondino-directed video). I wish I could say I’m in “Triple Trouble,” but I got four questions wrong, not three. You definitely have demonstrated that you’re prepared for tonight’s Madonna gig, though. Thanks again!

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IFC: How would you describe Celebrity All-Star to a fancy network executive you just met in an elevator?

Celebrity All-Star is a short film about an overworked reality TV coordinator struggling to save her one night off after the cast of C-List celebrities she wrangles gets locked out of their hotel rooms.

IFC: How would you describe Celebrity All-Star to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Sisters Weekend: It’s this short we made for IFC where a talent coordinator named Karen babysits a bunch of weird c-list celebs who are stuck in a hotel bar. It’s everyone you hate from reality TV under one roof – and that roof leaks because it’s a 2-star hotel. There’s a magician, sexy cowboys, and a guy wearing a belt that sucks up his farts.


IFC: What was the genesis of Celebrity All-Star?

Celebrity All-Star was born from our love of embarrassing celebrities. We love a good c-lister in need of a paycheck! We were really interested in the canned politeness people give off when forced to mingle with strangers. The backstory we created is that the cast of this reality show called “Celebrity All-Star” is in the middle of a mandatory round of “get to know each other” drinks in the hotel bar when the room keys stop working. Shows like Celebrity Ghost Hunters and of course The Surreal Life were of inspo, but we thought it
was funny to keep it really vague what kind of show they’re on, and just focus on everyone’s diva antics after the cameras stop rolling.

IFC: Every celebrity in Celebrity All-Star seems familiar. What real-life pop personalities did you look to for inspiration?

Sisters Weekend: Anyone who is trying to plug their branded merch that no one asked for. We love low-rent celebrity. We did, however, directly reference Kylie Jenner’s turd-raison lip color for our fictional teen celebutante Gibby Kyle (played by Mary Houlihan).


IFC: Celebrity seems disgusting yet desirable. What’s your POV? Do you crave it, hate it, or both?

Sisters Weekend: A lot of people chase fame. If you’re practical, you’ll likely switch to chasing success and if you’re smart, you’ll hopefully switch to chasing happiness. But also, “We need money. We need hits. Hits bring money, money bring power, power bring fame, fame change the game,” Young Thug.


IFC: Who are your comedy idols?

Sisters Weekend: Mike grew up renting “Monty Python” tapes from the library and staying up late to watch 2000’s SNL, Kat was super into Andy Kaufman and “Kids In The Hall” in high school, and Angelo was heavily influenced by “Strangers With Candy” and Anna Faris in the Scary Movie franchise, so, our comedy heroes mesh from all over. But, also we idolize a lot of the people we work with in NY-  Lorelei Ramirez, Erin Markey, Mary Houlihan, who are all in the film, Amy Zimmer, Ana Fabrega, Patti Harrison, Sam Taggart. Geniuses! All of Em!

IFC: What’s your favorite moment from the film?

Sisters Weekend: I mean…seeing Mary Houlihan scream at an insane Pomeranian on an iPad is pretty great.

See Sisters Weekend right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib

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