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DID YOU READ

LISTS: Greatest Pro Wrestling Theme Songs

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HotRodPiper.jpgEvery professional wrestler these days–from champion to jobber–walks down the aisle with his or her theme music pumping through the P.A. speakers, but it wasn’t all that long ago when wrestlers entered the ring in complete silence.

It’s a little unclear who was actually the first wrestler to have musical accompaniment for their walk to the squared circle. Some have cited 1950’s wrestler, Glen Stride, as being the first. Some give the distinction to fellow 50’s wrestler, Gorgeous George, who flamboyantly paraded down the aisle to the sounds of “Pomp and Circumstance.” Sgt. Slaughter may take credit for it, coming up with the idea of playing the “Marines Hymn” for his walk to the ring in a wrestling era void of theme music. Arguably, Rowdy Roddy Piper could be tossed into the conversation, playing his own theme music on the bagpipes during his early career.

(above: Rowdy Roddy Piper, a one-man, wrestling-theme-music machine.)

Regardless of who brought music to wrestling, we can all agree that suplexes, body slams, and pile drivers wouldn’t be the same without it.

Lace up your boots and step into the ring, here are the greatest wrestling theme songs of all-time:

12. Rob Van Dam
In its early days, ECW events took place in small bingo halls across the east coast. Though these shows lacked the production value of the World Wrestling Federation, they were able to use “real” music for their wrestlers’ entrances. Operating under the radar and not worrying about paying licensing fees, Rob Van Dam may have had one of the greatest wrestling theme songs of the early 90’s, Pantera’s “Walk.” Just humming that riff gets me ready to lock up.

11. “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase
Throughout the 80’s and early 90’s, the World Wrestling Federation created their own in-house theme music that was sometimes so horrible, it was great. The Million Dollar Man’s theme was one of them. Behind a hard-rock guitar riff, synthesizer bursts, and a chorus that repeated the word “money” over and over, Ted DiBiase delivered the following lyrics: Everybody’s got a price, everybody’s gonna pay, cause the Million Dollar Man always gets his way!

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10. Randy “Macho Man” Savage
Like Gorgeous George years earlier, Randy “Macho Man” Savage used “Pomp and Circumstance” as his official ring entrance. Somehow the orchestral piece made sense for a wrestler who wasn’t above grabbing a foreign object out of his tights and knocking his opponents unconscious. When I hear the song at graduation ceremonies I still have to fight the urge of saying “Ooh yeah!” while twirling my index finger in the air.

9. The Undertaker
Theme songs in wrestling usually only work when they perfectly connect with the athlete they’re representing. In this case, a slow-building funeral dirge, makes perfect sense for a 6’10”-tattoed-cloak-wearing-tombstone-pile-drivin’ wrestler known as The Undertaker.

8. Hulk Hogan
Rick Derringer’s guilty pleasure, “Real American,” became Hulk Hogan’s theme song in the mid-80’s, but before the Hulkster flexed his way down the aisle to this tune, his entrance music was Survivor’s “Eye of The Tiger,” which was also the theme song to Rocky III. Even though Hogan’s character, Thunderlips, put a beating on Sylvester Stallone in the film, its theme song suited the Hulkster well. No disrespect to the immortal Hulk Hogan, but “Eye of The Tiger” is such a goose-pimple-inducing-arena-rock song, it would make a perfect ring entrance for just about anyone.

7. Rowdy Roddy Piper
Being a trained bagpipe player, Roddy Piper is one of the few wrestlers that could actually play his own theme music. However, during marquee matches Piper would sometimes come to the ring accompanied by a full-on bagpipe marching band. Ooh, I’m getting chills just thinking about it.

6. Stone Cold Steve Austin
The aggressive, heavy guitar riff in Stone Cold Steve Austin’s theme music perfectly fit his aggressive in-ring style, but the most memorable part of this song was the way it began–a sound effect of glass breaking. In the 90’s, a sold-out arena could be brought to its feet in seconds by simply hearing the sound of broken glass. Both Pavlov and Annie Lennox would be proud.

Junkyard Dog.jpg5. Junkyard Dog
Before the World Wrestling Federation ducked licensing costs and produced their own theme music, wrestlers would enter the ring to various hit songs of the day. In the mid-80’s, the Junkyard Dog walked down the aisle to Queen’s “Another One Bites The Dust.” Hearing the song’s infectious bass line while watching the JYK strut to the ring, swinging a dog chain to the beat was a site to be seen. It was a sad day in wrestling, when the Junkyard Dog switched his theme to the WWF-ready-made, “Grab Them Cakes” (sigh).

4. Shawn Michaels
If Shawn Michaels wasn’t one of the greatest in-ring performers of all-time, his entrance music could be considered one of the cheesiest theme songs in all of wrestling. With lyrics like, “I think I’m cute, I know I’m sexy, I got the looks that drives the girls wild,” this song will not win any John Lennon songwriting contests anytime soon. However, hearing this tune before and after some of the greatest high-flying wrestling matches of all-time makes it down right irresistible. Give it a few listens, and you’ll be singing “sexy boy” in your worst falsetto.

3. Mr. Perfect
You wouldn’t expect a man who wrestled in a fluorescent-colored singlet to walk to the ring with a dramatic, classical music score playing in the background, but that was the beautiful irony of Mr. Perfect. He would usually end his majestic walks to the ring by spitting out a piece of chewing gum and slapping it out of the air–just in case you didn’t believe he was actually that perfect.

2. Triple H
It’s hard to believe that a man who used to wrestle with a French braid in his hair would later become one of the most feared wrestlers on the planet. Not only that, but Triple H later grew Lemmy-esque mutton chops and somehow got Motorhead to write him an original theme song called “The Game,” which they played live for him at two Wrestlemanias.

1. Ric Flair
There is no better entrance music in the history of wrestling than the theme to 2001: A Space Odyssey–used to perfection by the Nature Boy Ric Flair. Flair milked every note of this larger-than-life song as he strutted down the aisle, running his fingers through his perfectly coiffed, bleached blonde hair. I dare you to listen to this song without belting out a signature Ric Flair “WOOO!” at least once.

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Hacked In

Funny or Die Is Taking Over

FOD TV comes to IFC every Saturday night.

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We’ve been fans of Funny or Die since we first met The Landlord. That enduring love makes it more than logical, then, that IFC is totally cool with FOD hijacking the airwaves every Saturday night. Yes, that’s happening.

The appropriately titled FOD TV looks like something pulled from public access television in the nineties. Like lo-fi broken-antenna reception and warped VHS tapes. Equal parts WTF and UHF.

Get ready for characters including The Shirtless Painter, Long-Haired Businessmen, and Pigeon Man. They’re aptly named, but for a better sense of what’s in store, here’s a taste of ASMR with Kelly Whispers:

Watch FOD TV every Saturday night during IFC’s regularly scheduled movies.

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Wicked Good

See More Evil

Stan Against Evil Season 1 is on Hulu.

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Okay, so you missed the entire first season of Stan Against Evil. There’s no shame in that, per se. But here’s the thing: Season 2 is just around the corner and you don’t want to lag behind. After all, Season 1 had some critical character development, not to mention countless plot twists, and a breathless finale cliffhanger that’s been begging for resolution since last fall. It also had this:

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The good news is that you can catch up right now on Hulu. Phew. But if you aren’t streaming yet, here’s a basic primer…

Willards Mill Is Evil

Stan spent his whole career as sheriff oblivious to the fact that his town has a nasty curse. Mostly because his recently-deceased wife was secretly killing demons and keeping Stan alive.

Demons Really Want To Kill Stan

The curse on Willards Mill stipulates that damned souls must hunt and kill each and every town sheriff, or “constable.” Oh, and these demons are shockingly creative.

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They Also Want To Kill Evie

Why? Because Evie’s a sheriff too, and the curse on Willard’s Mill doesn’t have a “one at a time” clause. Bummer, Evie.

Stan and Evie Must Work Together

Beating the curse will take two, baby, but that’s easier said than done because Stan doesn’t always seem to give a damn. Damn!

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Beware of Goats

It goes without saying for anyone who’s seen the show: If you know that ancient evil wants to kill you, be wary of anything that has cloven feet.

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Season 2 Is Lurking

Scary new things are slouching towards Willards Mill. An impending darkness descending on Stan, Evie and their cohort – eviler evil, more demony demons, and whatnot. And if Stan wants to survive, he’ll have to get even Stanlier.

Stan Against Evil Season 1 is now streaming right now on Hulu.

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SO EXCITED!!!

Reminders that the ’90s were a thing

"The Place We Live" is available for a Jessie Spano-level binge on Comedy Crib.

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Unless you stopped paying attention to the world at large in 1989, you are of course aware that the ’90s are having their pop cultural second coming. Nobody is more acutely aware of this than Dara Katz and Betsy Kenney, two comedians who met doing improv comedy and have just made their Comedy Crib debut with the hilarious ’90s TV throwback series, The Place We Live.

IFC: How would you describe “The Place We Live” to a fancy network executive you just met in an elevator?

Dara: It’s everything you loved–or loved to hate—from Melrose Place and 90210 but condensed to five minutes, funny (on purpose) and totally absurd.

IFC: How would you describe “The Place We Live” to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Betsy: “Hey Todd, why don’t you have a sip of water. Also, I think you’ll love The Place We Live because everyone has issues…just like you, Todd.”

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IFC: When you were living through the ’90s, did you think it was television’s golden age or the pop culture apocalypse?


Betsy: I wasn’t sure I knew what it was, I just knew I loved it!


Dara: Same. Was just happy that my parents let me watch. But looking back, the ’90s honored The Teen. And for that, it’s the golden age of pop culture. 

IFC: Which ’90s shows did you mine for the series, and why?

Betsy: Melrose and 90210 for the most part. If you watch an episode of either of those shows you’ll see they’re a comedic gold mine. In one single episode, they cover serious crimes, drug problems, sex and working in a law firm and/or gallery, all while being young, hot and skinny.


Dara: And almost any series we were watching in the ’90s, Full House, Saved By the Bell, My So Called Life has very similar themes, archetypes and really stupid-intense drama. We took from a lot of places. 

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IFC: How would you describe each of the show’s characters in terms of their ’90s TV stereotype?

Dara: Autumn (Sunita Mani) is the femme fatale. Robin (Dara Katz) is the book worm (because she wears glasses). Candace (Betsy Kenney) is Corey’s twin and gives great advice and has really great hair. Corey (Casey Jost) is the boy next door/popular guy. Candace and Corey’s parents decided to live in a car so the gang can live in their house. 
Lee (Jonathan Braylock) is the jock.

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Dara: Because everyone’s feeling major ’90s nostalgia right now, and this is that, on steroids while also being a totally new, silly thing.

Delight in the whole season of The Place We Live right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib. It’ll take you back in all the right ways.