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DID YOU READ

IT’S LIKE THAT: Pressin’ the F_ck Button

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fuck buttons.jpg

Not that it matters so much anymore, but I remember in the booming days of the compact disc, when certain musical acts would tweak artwork, album titles, and song titles just to get their album onto the shelves of a retail store. Record labels wanted their artists’ discs to be sold in monster retail locations like Wal-Mart, because (sadly) most people buy their music at monster retail locations–that’s why many of today’s kids may not even know what a record store is.

Artists would usually agree with their labels, giving the all too safe answer, “Well, we want our record to be heard by as many people as possible.” Rarely would you read a story about a group refusing to alter their art for the sake of mass consumption. Even Nirvana, who spat in the face of music conventions, allowed their In Utereo track, “Rape Me,” to be changed to “Waif Me” on the CD’s track-listing.

(above: A name like The Fuck Buttons may not be as harmful to a band’s career as it used to be.)

Before digital downloads, a band’s survival depended greatly on moving discs at Wal-Mart–whether it seemed to be the punk rock thing to do or not. However, I couldn’t tell you how many times I wanted just one band to stand their ground, knowing that they would lose a good chunk of their income in the process–that’s punk rock.

Switching gears for a second, a year or so ago I became familiar with a group called The Fuck Buttons, which then brought to mind another group who wasn’t afraid to drop the “F” bomb: Holy Fuck. Speaking of (credible) indie acts with explicit band names, let’s not forget about Shit Disco. Maybe because I’m nearing my mid-30’s, my first reaction was, “C’mon, what kind of band name is that?” My brain–thinking like a 90’s record label exec–began listing all the reasons why it would be detrimental for a group to have an expletive in their name:

 Say bye-bye to Wal-Mart.

 Television hosts and VJ’s would have to alter the pronunciation of the band-name, meaning the mass public would get to know the group under a different moniker.

 The band-name would be hacked up by hyphens and asterisks when appearing in publications that don’t print expletives.

 No matter how good or popular the band gets, they’re pretty much writing themselves off the list of greatest acts ever. When was the last time you saw a band with the word “fuck” in its name, appear next to U2 or The Rolling Stones?

In my mind, having a “fuck” or a “shit” in your band name just seemed like a headache not worth having. Some mainstream music critics may argue that The Fuck Buttons’ style of noisy music would never appeal to the mainstream anyway, but in music–as in life–I’ve learned that never doesn’t necessarily mean never (just ask Brett Favre). There have been countless groups in the annals of music that went from sloppy, underground club-dwellers to mainstream, even-your-grandma-knows-about-them superstars.

Though I don’t think The Fuck Buttons or Shit Disco are particularly clever band-names, I realized that these acts have done what I always wanted a band to do–utter a big “F-you” to conventional music norms and practices. By including a swear word in your band’s name, you pretty much give yourself complete autonomy. You never have to worry about shipping edited versions of CD’s to Wal-Mart, you never have to worry about playing corporately sponsored cocktail parties, and you don’t have to worry about catering to the mainstream–if they like you enough, they’ll go out of their way to cater to you.

And speaking in terms of the mainstream, not every band necessarily wants to be a darling for the masses. Maybe by calling your band The Fuck Buttons you only want your music to be heard by a certain few–but, in the age where musical acts are creating their own internet fan bases, maybe that certain few isn’t so few at all.

Every explicitly named band that never made it into Wal-Mart are standing up and cheering right now.

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Final Countdown

The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

Uncle-Buck

Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…