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DID YOU READ

SXSW: Awards for Best & Worst

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See the picture to the left? That’s an actual photograph taken from my brain on the final day of SXSW–everything was turning into one big blur. It was another fun (yet busy) year in Austin, TX, and I was amazed by the amount of day-shows that all the bands were playing. I wouldn’t be surprised if bands started playing SXSW morning matinees in the very near future. Nothing like watching your favorite indie group while eating scrambled eggs and bacon. Before I say goodbye to SXSW 2008, I’d like to hand out some awards for the best-and-worst of this year’s festival…


MOST VERSATILE

Money Mark

Though Money Mark probably only played 25 minutes (after ironing out certain glitches with his gear), he did mange to display his many talents, playing everything from a keyboard to a tape recorder:

1. Money Mark on guitar.
2. Mark gettin’ down on the theremin.
3. Mark playing a tape recorder into his guitar pick-ups.
4. Guitar and keyboard at the same time–damn!
5. Mark on keyboard–hence the name Keyboardist Money Mark.

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ODD PIECE OF SWAG THAT I CAN’T SEEM TO THROW AWAY
Sgt. Solo

This came in my SXSW goodie bag. It’s a classic green army soldier, but he’s rocking out on guitar! I believe this treat is from Armed Forces Entertainment. For some reason this has been more difficult to part with than the pack of Direct TV playing cards or the endless amount of sampler CD’s that I’ll probably never get around to listening to.

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BEST/WORST PIZZA
Roppolo’s

This pizza is awful–however–during the week I found it strangely addictive. Its dense, doughy crust sits in your stomach and burns fuel for you like a coal oven. One piece will carb you up for a full night of music.

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BEST WAY TO GET SUNBURN
Waiting in line at a day-show.

I’m telling you, matinees are all the rage now at SXSW. This line for the Lou Reed Tribute Show was one of the longer ones I saw all week.

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WORST TIME OF THE YEAR TO REPAIR YOUR HOTEL
Hyatt

If you picked any week to do extensive work on your hotel, why would you decide to do it during the busiest, most crowded week of the year? Nothing like conducting an interview with a loud generator blaring in the background.

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WORST VENUE
Maggie Mae’s Rooftop

Not only is the dance floor cut in half by a stairwell, but guess where the bathrooms are located? Backstage (I’m not kidding). During a live performance, it’s perfectly acceptable for anyone to walk up on stage, pass the artist, and make their way to the bathroom. When leaving the stage, everyone also feels obliged to bang their head or pump a fist along to the music (especially drunk college girls).

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BEST BATHROOM
Room 710

Speaking of bathrooms, this one has to be the coolest. What can I say–I’m a sucker for band stickers. I think I freaked a guy out when I snapped this picture in the rest room (oh well).

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BEST BJORN BORG IMITATION
Jim Noir

Jim Noir looked so much like 80’s tennis star, Bjorn Borg, I was waiting for John McEnroe and Jimmy Conners to challenge him to a couple of sets.

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BEST LEGEND TO FLY HOME WITH
Billy Bragg

Whenever I fly with a famous person or music icon, I feel at peace. I think to myself, “Well, if the plane’s going down, at least I went out with _________.” After the flight I quickly said hi to Mr. Bragg. I’ve learned through my many years in music never to say hi to a legend until after your flight has landed. A young Jim Shearer once bothered a very tired Grandmaster Flash.

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Uncle-Buck

Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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IFC_Portlandia-AORewind-blog

A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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