DID YOU READ

“Zodiac.”

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"They're already making movies about it."
Of the countless shows based around the hypnotic and reliable rhythms of the crime procedural, our personal favorite, the relatively recent "Criminal Minds," is the likely apex (or nadir). While other shows have staked out their own fields of expertise — sex crimes, Las Vegas, missing persons — "Criminal Minds" wants for itself only the Most Dangerous of Criminals, more often or not that foie gras of the villainous world, the serial killer with a shtick. Its team of diversely attractive FBI agents darts around the country in a private jet, applying their profiling skills wherever needed ("That’s the second murder in a month. He’s escalating!") in order to wrap up a case in 44 minutes. It’s wretchedly silly and absurdly compelling, a show that presumes a world with such a surfeit of psychobabble-enabled malefactors that it necessitates a special government division.

"Zodiac," David Fincher‘s first film since 2002’s "Panic Room," is a procedural in the true sense of the word — it chronicles, in exhausting detail, the minutiae of the investigation into the Zodiac Killer in the late 60s and 70s, a case that remains unsolved. It is also, less successfully, an examination of obsession, of our fascination with and longing for the plotlines and the looming villains so easy to find in film, TV and airport novels, their unhinged minds ready to be unlocked by some intrepid investigator with the right insights. Life is not a paragraph; neither, at two hours and 40 minutes, is "Zodiac," a film that’s more interesting to write about than it is to watch. The real world may well fail to cohere to a convenient narrative; seeing this demonstrated on screen is, as you’d guess, unsatisfying.

"Zodiac" begins with a brutal make-out point murder that chills with its meticulously recreated details, a crime the killer takes credit for when he writes to the San Francisco Chronicle and two other Bay Area papers in August of 1969, demanding they publish a cipher. Political cartoonist Robert Graysmith (Jake Gyllenhaal) is at the paper when the letter arrives; his interest is immediate — cryptography and puzzles are his hobby. But he jostles at the sidelines of the film for a long time; the investigation belongs to the competent, slightly showboating Inspector David Toschi (Mark Ruffalo) and his long-suffering partner Armstrong (Anthony Edwards), and to reporter Paul Avery (the always fun Robert Downey Jr.). By the time Graysmith emerges as the main character, he seems to have won by virtue of sticking it out the longest; Toschi drifts away to other cases, Armstrong to other departments, Avery to obscurity, living on a houseboat, wallowing in drugs and alcohol. Graysmith, the Eagle Scout, the cartoonist turned amateur sleuth, can’t put the puzzle down, and so he gets to grace the film with the themes of obsession to which it eventually comes round as a seeming afterthought — after all, the real Robert Graysmith wrote the two books on which the film is based.

The Zodiac Killer loomed large in the imagination; he had San Francisco trembling in his shadow. But it’s likely he only actually killed five people, though he took credit for other murders he didn’t commit — a fact that Avery informs Graysmith, after which he observes "You almost look disappointed." Whatever prompted his first murders is unknown; what kept him going and kept him writing to the papers, on the other hand, is easily apparent. He enjoyed creating his own mythology, and the media was happy to help. A scene involving the killer’s proposed call-in to speak to a local lawyer (played by Brian Cox) on a live morning show could prompt nervous giggles — talking to the killer, on a live broadcast! Frightening, but great TV. It was good business for all involved — Graysmith is the only one without an angle, and the only one unable to put the case down when everyone else was ready to move on.

Fincher, himself responsible for one of pop culture’s most grandly gothic serial killers in "Se7en"‘s John Doe, does takes an ax to the conventions of the crime genre, if such a dramatic phrase can be used for a film that avoids all easy provocations. The murders, along with one late night roadside kidnapping, are all brilliantly staged, chilling in their unfeigned details, and over and done with early in the film. The point is not the killings themselves, nor the murderer, whose possible identity seems so diffuse by the end that everyone and no one could be a suspect. The grind is the point, the weeks passing until they’ve added up to years, the case resting not on dramatic interrogations but on handwriting analysis, evidence spread over four counties not prone to much communication. Fincher keeps his whiz-bang bag of camera tricks closed, keeping his direction unobtrusive save for the occasional flashy shot — one, overhead on the Golden Gate Bridge, has the untethered feel of a dream.

We’re given all of the details, the dead ends, the backtracking, and yet the cumulative effect is not a portrait of obsession, merely evidence of it. The Zodiac Killer, pinned down with the weight of all these documented facts, seems small, not worth dedicating decades to, and that revelation is hardly the equivalent of a one liner before the credits roll.

"Zodiac" opens wide today.

+ "Zodiac" (Paramount)

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Hard Out

Comedy From The Closet

Janice and Jeffrey Available Now On IFC's Comedy Crib

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She’s been referred to as “the love child of Amy Sedaris and Tracy Ullman,” and he’s a self-described “Italian who knows how to cook a great spaghetti alla carbonara.” They’re Mollie Merkel and Matteo Lane, prolific indie comedians who blended their robust creative juices to bring us the new Comedy Crib series Janice and Jeffrey. Mollie and Matteo took time to answer our probing questions about their series and themselves. Here’s a taste.

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IFC: How would you describe Janice and Jeffrey to a fancy network executive you met in an elevator?

Mollie & Matteo: Janice and Jeffrey is about a married couple experiencing intimacy issues but who don’t have a clue it’s because they are gay. Their oblivion makes them even more endearing.  Their total lack of awareness provides for a buffet of comedy.

IFC: What’s your origin story? How did you two people meet and how long have you been working together?

Mollie: We met at a dive bar in Wrigley Field Chicago. It was a show called Entertaining Julie… It was a cool variety scene with lots of talented people. I was doing Janice one night and Matteo was doing an impression of Liza Minnelli. We sort of just fell in love with each other’s… ACT! Matteo made the first move and told me how much he loved Janice and I drove home feeling like I just met someone really special.

IFC: How would Janice describe Jeffrey?

Mollie: “He can paint, cook homemade Bolognese, and sing Opera. Not to mention he has a great body. He makes me feel empowered and free. He doesn’t suffocate me with attention so our love has room to breath.”

IFC: How would Jeffrey describe Janice?

Matteo: “Like a Ford. Built to last.”

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Mollie & Matteo: Our current political world is mirroring and reflecting this belief that homosexuality is wrong. So what better time for satire. Everyone is so pro gay and equal rights, which is of course what we want, too. But no one is looking at middle America and people actually in the closet. No one is saying, hey this is really painful and tragic, and sitting with that. Having compassion but providing the desperate relief of laughter…This seemed like the healthiest, best way to “fight” the gay rights “fight”.

IFC: Hummus is hilarious. Why is it so funny?

Mollie: It just seems like something people take really seriously, which is funny to me. I started to see it in a lot of lesbians’ refrigerators at a time. It’s like observing a lesbian in a comfortable shoe. It’s a language we speak. Pass the Hummus. Turn on the Indigo Girls would ya?

See the whole season of Janice and Jeffrey right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib.

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Die Hard Dads

Inspiration For Die Hard Dads

Die Hard is on IFC all Father's Day Long

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIPHY

Yippee ki-yay, everybody! It’s time to celebrate the those most literal of mother-effers: dads!

And just in case the title of this post left anything to the imagination, IFC is giving dads balls-to-the-wall ’80s treatment with a glorious marathon of action trailblazer Die Hard.

There are so many things we could say about Die Hard. We could talk about how it was comedian Bruce Willis’s first foray into action flicks, or Alan Rickman’s big screen debut. But dads don’t give a sh!t about that stuff.

No, dads just want to fantasize that they could be deathproof quip factory John McClane in their own mundane lives. So while you celebrate the fathers in your life, consider how John McClane would respond to these traditional “dad” moments…

Wedding Toasts

Dads always struggle to find the right words of welcome to extend to new family. John McClane, on the other hand, is the master of inclusivity.
Die Hard wedding

Using Public Restrooms

While nine out of ten dads would rather die than use a disgusting public bathroom, McClane isn’t bothered one bit. So long as he can fit a bloody foot in the sink, he’s G2G.
Die Hard restroom

Awkward Dancing

Because every dad needs a signature move.
Die Hard dance

Writing Thank You Notes

It can be hard for dads to express gratitude. Not only can McClane articulate his thanks, he makes it feel personal.
Die Hard thank you

Valentine’s Day

How would John McClane say “I heart you” in a way that ain’t cliche? The image speaks for itself.
Die Hard valentines

Shopping

The only thing most dads hate more than shopping is fielding eleventh-hour phone calls with additional items for the list. But does McClane throw a typical man-tantrum? Nope. He finds the words to express his feelings like a goddam adult.
Die Hard thank you

Last Minute Errands

John McClane knows when a fight isn’t worth fighting.
Die Hard errands

Sneaking Out Of The Office Early

What is this, high school? Make a real exit, dads.
Die Hard office

Think you or your dad could stand to be more like Bruce? Role model fodder abounds in the Die Hard marathon all Father’s Day long on IFC.

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Founding Farters

Know Your Nerd History

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection, GIFs via Giphy

That we live in the heyday of nerds is no hot secret. Scientists are celebrities, musicians are robots and late night hosts can recite every word of the Silmarillion. It’s too easy to think that it’s always been this way. But the truth is we owe much to our nerd forebearers who toiled through the jock-filled ’80s so that we might take over the world.

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Our humble beginnings are perhaps best captured in iconic ’80s romp Revenge of the Nerds. Like the founding fathers of our Country, the titular nerds rose above their circumstances to culturally pave the way for every Colbert and deGrasse Tyson that we know and love today.

To make sure you’re in the know about our very important cultural roots, here’s a quick download of the vengeful nerds without whom our shameful stereotypes might never have evolved.

Lewis Skolnick

The George Washington of nerds whose unflappable optimism – even in the face of humiliating self-awareness – basically gave birth to the Geek Pride movement.

Gilbert Lowe

OK, this guy is wet blanket, but an important wet blanket. Think Aaron Burr to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. His glass-mostly-empty attitude is a galvanizing force for Lewis. Who knows if Lewis could have kept up his optimism without Lowe’s Debbie-Downer outlook?

Arnold Poindexter

A music nerd who, after a soft start (inside joke, you’ll get it later), came out of his shell and let his passion lead instead of his anxiety. If you played an instrument (specifically, electric violin), and you were a nerd, this was your patron saint.

Booger

A sex-loving, blunt-smoking, nose-picking guitar hero. If you don’t think he sounds like a classic nerd, you’re absolutely right. And that’s the whole point. Along with Lamar, he simultaneously expanded the definition of nerd and gave pre-existing nerds a twisted sort of cred by association.

Lamar Latrell

Black, gay, and a crazy good breakdancer. In other words, a total groundbreaker. He proved to the world that nerds don’t have a single mold, but are simply outcasts waiting for their moment.

Ogre

Exceedingly stupid, this dumbass was monumental because he (in a sequel) leaves the jocks to become a nerd. Totally unheard of back then. Now all jocks are basically nerds.

Well, there they are. Never forget that we stand on their shoulders.

Revenge of the Nerds is on IFC all month long.

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