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DID YOU READ

Opening This Week: February 26th, 2007

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By Christopher Bonet

IFC News

[Photo: “Into Great Silence,” Zeitgeist Films, 2007]

A round-up of the best (or worst) $10 you’ll spend this week.

“Black Snake Moan”

If you thought director Craig Brewer’s “Hustle and Flow” had an over-the-top premise, just be prepared for his latest Southern drama about a God-fearing former blues musician (Samuel L. Jackson) who attempts to “cure” a sexually abused woman turned nympho (Christina Ricci) of her sinful ways. “Snakes on a Plane” (a ranting and raving Samuel L.) meets “The Exorcist” (less puking, more humping) with a bit of “Monster’s Ball” thrown in? We shall see.

Opens wide (official site).

“Full of It”

“Comedian” director Christian Charles follows up his acclaimed Jerry Seinfeld documentary with a (sigh…) teen comedy about a young kid who starts telling lies to the popular clique at his new school, only to find out that new problems arise when his lies start becoming truths. The film has a host of TV veterans, including “Punk’d”‘s Ryan Pinkston as the lead teen and supporting roles being filled in by former “Daily Show” host Craig Kilborn and a wildly inappropriate Teri Polo. Kids who listen to Panic! At the Disco must be stoked.

Opens in limited release (official site).

“Into Great Silence”

German director Philip Gröning puts Mel Gibson to shame with this meditative take on spirituality more hardcore than anything in “The Passion of the Christ.” Gröning spent six months (after waiting sixteen years for approval) in the confines of the Grande Chartreuse, a Christian monastery in which monks quietly fulfill their daily prayers, tasks, rituals, and rare outdoor excursions. No voiceovers, no score, and, at almost three hours, no mercy for those with short attention spans.

Opens in New York (official site).

“Two Weeks”

Writer and director Steven Stockman casts Ben Chaplin, Thomas Cavanagh, Julianne Nicholson and Glenn Howerton as siblings who gather at their dying mother’s house for one quick, last goodbye but wind up trapped together for two weeks. Somewhere in this comedy is a tad bit of melodrama, we’d expect, but with Sally Field playing the mother of the family, this film could be promising.

Opens in limited release (official site).

“Wild Hogs”

“Van Wilder” director Walt Becker’s middle-aged road comedy about a group of four friends who start a biker gang doesn’t seem to be generating any positive buzz — in fact, The New York Times recently labeled the film as potentially the worst movie of the year. We recommend checking out the much funnier (and, dare we even say, more pleasing to the eye) 2000 Clint Eastwood film “Space Cowboys,” or, hell, even that episode of “The Simpsons” when Homer gets the motorcycle. It’s shorter and features a lot less Tim Allen.

Opens wide (official site).

“Wild Tigers I Have Known”

The debut feature film from indie boy wonder Cam Archer is, underneath that festivalesque ambiguous title, a coming-of-age story dealing with sexual confusion and gender bending. The film premiered at last year’s Sundance Film Festival, where critics generally hailed it as an artful and sensitive portrayal of teenage queer identity.

Opens in limited release (official site).

“Zodiac”

We’re glad that David Fincher is returning to the crime thriller genre after the overrated claustrophobic mess that was “Panic Room” (we still find “Se7en” to be the second-best serial killer film after “The Silence of the Lambs”), and his film on the Zodiac Killer of the 1970s might provide a refreshing take on an oft-imitated story (three films in the past four years!). Oh, and we still can’t get over the ridiculous hairstyles on Jake Gyllenhaal and Mark Ruffalo. Priceless.

Opens wide (official site).

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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