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DID YOU READ

Flowers, Fuzz, Blood and tentacles.

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"Unspeakable secrets are hidden within the Forbidden City."
Trailers: For "Curse of the Golden Flower," here. Brocade-porn? We’re just trying it on for size — whaddya think? A trailer for "Hot Fuzz," from the "Shaun of the Dead" team, here. One for nouveau werewolf romance "Blood and Chocolate" here (ah, Olivier Martinez). And a red-band domestic trailer for "The Host" here.

Via Pamela McClintock at Variety, "[Martin] Scorsese will develop with an eye to direct the big screen adaptation of Eric Jager’s historical tome ‘The Last Duel: A True Story of Crime, Scandal and Trial by Combat in Medieval France.’" Hmm.

Via Borys Kit at the Hollywood Reporter, Susan Sarandon and Jonathan Tucker have joined the cast of Paul Haggis"In the Valley of Elah."

Via John Hopewell and Michael Fleming at Variety, Woody Harrelson, Samantha Morton, Eduardo Noriega and Ben Kingsley are among those set to star in "Trans-Siberian," the new film from Brad Anderson, who we quite like despite "The Machinist":

Crime thriller revolves around an American couple (Harrelson and Morton) traveling on the Trans-Siberian Railway from China to Moscow. When they meet another couple, the result is a train ride full of deception and murder.

Via Michael Fleming at Variety, Columbia Pictures has purchased the rights to "Cleopatra," a new take on the life of the Egyptian queen that will be written by Pulitzer Prize-winning biographer Stacy Schiff. Yes, it’s apparently news that a studio has bought the rights to an as-yet-unwritten book. Ah, well, we hope it has a New Wave soundtrack.

Via Empire, the "He-Man" adaptation that John Woo‘s name was batted around with for a while is apparently dead. Oh, don’t cry.

+ Trailer: Curse of the Golden Flower (Apple)
+ Trailer: Hot Fuzz (Working Title Films)
+ Trailer: Blood and Chocolate (MTV)
+ Trailer: The Host (CHUD)
+ Marty takes on the French (Variety)
+ Tucker joins Sarandon for trip to ‘Valley’ (Hollywood Reporter)
+ Cast aboard for Anderson (Variety)
+ Columbia plots new ‘Cleopatra’ (Variety) 
+ He-Man Ditched By Fox 2000 (Empire)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

Uncle-Buck

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…