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The art of storming out.

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And below that - the Kevin Smith Vans of non-controversy.
So on top of that whole Joel Siegel storming out ignominy, we have Scott Foundas of the LA Weekly getting tossed from a "Clerks II" screening last week (he was allowed to see the film the next day and when going to to recount the incident in his review, responds with relative grace and, actually, quite likes the film) and David Poland announcing the fact that he was banned from advance screenings as well.

It’s not entirely surprising that Poland was banned by the thin-skinned Smith — the phrase that did it, from a review of the 2000 "Vulgar":

(P.S. I never noticed that Kevin Smith, who produced the film and cameos, has calves the size of a small Shetland Sheep Dog. I felt like I was watching an Incredible Hulk episode with David Banner’s calves caught mid-change.)

Okay, petty. But bouncing Foundas, one of the few truly smart and responsible critics out there today, because he didn’t like "Jersey Girl"? We can understand why studios have stopped screening certain titles for critics — advance reviews of "Snakes on a Plane" would do nothing for the film — but withholding a screening on the basis of past bad reviews is contrary to the whole idea of film criticism. And is just plain assholish (assholesque?). We still like Smith, but really — this is the time for you to suck it up and let people talks about your movie.

Of course, Smith posts his own response:

I can’t fault Mr. Siegel for feeling "revolted" (his producer’s description of Joel’s reaction) by our flick; in truth, there is a donkey show in it, and I recognize that brand of whimsy might not be for everybody. Film appreciation is very subjective, and maybe Joel just isn’t into ass-to-mouth conversations.

However, I CAN fault him for the manner in which he left the screening.

Apparently, rather than quietly exit, both Joel and his Cum-Catcher (my slang for the fancy kind of mustache he sports) made a big stink about walking out, calling as much attention to himself as possible, and being generally pretty disruptive.

Check this shit out: roughly forty minutes into the flick, when Randal orders up the third act donkey show, Siegel bellowed to his fellow critics "Time to go!" and "This is the first movie I’ve walked out of in 30 fucking years!"

Now, I don’t need Joel Siegel to suck my dick the way he apparently sucks M. Night’s, gushing over his flick before he’s even seen it; but shit, man – how about a little common fucking courtesy?

And Smith and Siegel talked it out (but failed to hug it out) on the radio the next day.

At the Guardian‘s blog, Xan Brooks writes:

This is an entertaining, likably ludicrous match-up: the irascible
critic versus the affronted film-maker. But who is in the right? On the
one hand you could argue that Siegel is guilty of boorish, showboating
behaviour, if not outright dereliction of duty. On the other you might
make a case that he is merely responding as a genuine film-going
enthusiast who isn’t afraid of voting with his feet. When critics hoot
and holler and storm out of those press screenings at Cannes, it is
generally regarded as a sign of how passionate, vibrant and healthy the
festival is. Why should Siegel’s reaction be any different? (Personally
I’m not convinced by this argument, but I raise it in the interest of

At Movie City Indie, Ray Pride points to Reid Rosefelt’s blog:

I have known Joel a long time and have always found him to be a courteous man who loves movies, but I think he crossed a line here. Not only don’t I think critics should raise a fuss at a screening, I think they have to watch the whole thing. Films often get better as they go along. One should never make a judgment until you see it all. At that point, critics can choose not to review the film (Siegel doesn’t review everything) or pan the film as harshly as they want. Watching bad movies is very taxing, but that’s the film critic’s job. If they don’t like it, they should take up something less stressful, like working 24/7 as a hospital surgeon.

Having attended press screenings of all sizes, we have to say that while we think Siegel’s exit was remarkably rude, we’d be thrilled to see such signs of life in what are typically brisk and dour affairs. Imagine — someone angrily walking out! You’re far more likely to see this one: An attendee checks in, grabs press notes, and then leans in, maybe going for the we’re-all-in-this-crazy-biz-together arm touch: "And…how long is this one? Only 87 minutes? Oh, bless you."

Meanwhile, the Chicago Sun-Times reports that Roger Ebert, who so effortlessly smacked down Vincent Gallo when the actor/filmmaker got all uppity following "The Brown Bunny"‘s premiere, is on the mend, despite a line-up of guest critics pinch-hitting for him on "Ebert & Roeper": "Ebert added, ‘Don’t get too used to these guest co-hosts because I’ll be back in the balcony before you know it.’"

+ Dear Kevin (LA Weekly)
+ Kevin Smith Will Be 36 Years Old In Twelve Days (The Hot Blog)
+ A Dick in a Mustache is Still Just a Dick (Updated with Sound Clip!!!) (Silent Bob Speaks)
+ Critic, shut your mouth (Guardian)
+ The cricket ticket: Joel Siegel evokes a Kael tale; ALSO: Foundas’ Clerks II ejection (wiith love to come) (Movie City Indie)
+ Ebert on the mend (


Hacked In

Funny or Die Is Taking Over

FOD TV comes to IFC every Saturday night.

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We’ve been fans of Funny or Die since we first met The Landlord. That enduring love makes it more than logical, then, that IFC is totally cool with FOD hijacking the airwaves every Saturday night. Yes, that’s happening.

The appropriately titled FOD TV looks like something pulled from public access television in the nineties. Like lo-fi broken-antenna reception and warped VHS tapes. Equal parts WTF and UHF.

Get ready for characters including The Shirtless Painter, Long-Haired Businessmen, and Pigeon Man. They’re aptly named, but for a better sense of what’s in store, here’s a taste of ASMR with Kelly Whispers:

Watch FOD TV every Saturday night during IFC’s regularly scheduled movies.


Wicked Good

See More Evil

Stan Against Evil Season 1 is on Hulu.

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GIFs via Giphy

Okay, so you missed the entire first season of Stan Against Evil. There’s no shame in that, per se. But here’s the thing: Season 2 is just around the corner and you don’t want to lag behind. After all, Season 1 had some critical character development, not to mention countless plot twists, and a breathless finale cliffhanger that’s been begging for resolution since last fall. It also had this:


The good news is that you can catch up right now on Hulu. Phew. But if you aren’t streaming yet, here’s a basic primer…

Willards Mill Is Evil

Stan spent his whole career as sheriff oblivious to the fact that his town has a nasty curse. Mostly because his recently-deceased wife was secretly killing demons and keeping Stan alive.

Demons Really Want To Kill Stan

The curse on Willards Mill stipulates that damned souls must hunt and kill each and every town sheriff, or “constable.” Oh, and these demons are shockingly creative.


They Also Want To Kill Evie

Why? Because Evie’s a sheriff too, and the curse on Willard’s Mill doesn’t have a “one at a time” clause. Bummer, Evie.

Stan and Evie Must Work Together

Beating the curse will take two, baby, but that’s easier said than done because Stan doesn’t always seem to give a damn. Damn!


Beware of Goats

It goes without saying for anyone who’s seen the show: If you know that ancient evil wants to kill you, be wary of anything that has cloven feet.


Season 2 Is Lurking

Scary new things are slouching towards Willards Mill. An impending darkness descending on Stan, Evie and their cohort – eviler evil, more demony demons, and whatnot. And if Stan wants to survive, he’ll have to get even Stanlier.

Stan Against Evil Season 1 is now streaming right now on Hulu.



Reminders that the ’90s were a thing

"The Place We Live" is available for a Jessie Spano-level binge on Comedy Crib.

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GIFs via Giphy

Unless you stopped paying attention to the world at large in 1989, you are of course aware that the ’90s are having their pop cultural second coming. Nobody is more acutely aware of this than Dara Katz and Betsy Kenney, two comedians who met doing improv comedy and have just made their Comedy Crib debut with the hilarious ’90s TV throwback series, The Place We Live.

IFC: How would you describe “The Place We Live” to a fancy network executive you just met in an elevator?

Dara: It’s everything you loved–or loved to hate—from Melrose Place and 90210 but condensed to five minutes, funny (on purpose) and totally absurd.

IFC: How would you describe “The Place We Live” to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Betsy: “Hey Todd, why don’t you have a sip of water. Also, I think you’ll love The Place We Live because everyone has issues…just like you, Todd.”


IFC: When you were living through the ’90s, did you think it was television’s golden age or the pop culture apocalypse?

Betsy: I wasn’t sure I knew what it was, I just knew I loved it!

Dara: Same. Was just happy that my parents let me watch. But looking back, the ’90s honored The Teen. And for that, it’s the golden age of pop culture. 

IFC: Which ’90s shows did you mine for the series, and why?

Betsy: Melrose and 90210 for the most part. If you watch an episode of either of those shows you’ll see they’re a comedic gold mine. In one single episode, they cover serious crimes, drug problems, sex and working in a law firm and/or gallery, all while being young, hot and skinny.

Dara: And almost any series we were watching in the ’90s, Full House, Saved By the Bell, My So Called Life has very similar themes, archetypes and really stupid-intense drama. We took from a lot of places. 


IFC: How would you describe each of the show’s characters in terms of their ’90s TV stereotype?

Dara: Autumn (Sunita Mani) is the femme fatale. Robin (Dara Katz) is the book worm (because she wears glasses). Candace (Betsy Kenney) is Corey’s twin and gives great advice and has really great hair. Corey (Casey Jost) is the boy next door/popular guy. Candace and Corey’s parents decided to live in a car so the gang can live in their house. 
Lee (Jonathan Braylock) is the jock.

IFC: Why do you think the world is ready for this series?

Dara: Because everyone’s feeling major ’90s nostalgia right now, and this is that, on steroids while also being a totally new, silly thing.

Delight in the whole season of The Place We Live right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib. It’ll take you back in all the right ways.