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DID YOU READ

“But, I’ll be sane again…once I sew us back together!”

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Two-way Romeo."Brothers of the Head" (which, we feel obliged to note in the interests of full disclosure, is being distributed by IFC Films), from directors Keith Fulton and Louis Pepe, is a melange of faux documentary, glam rock nostalgia and gothic narrative that’s remarkably difficult to elucidate. So we’re not going to bother — we’re still kind of gobsmacked by Tom and Barry Howe, the tragic conjoined twins at the center of the film, played by real-life non-conjoined twins Harry and Luke Treadaway in their feature debut. Tom and Barry are blue-eyed and beautiful, identical, joined at the chest, and aestheticized and exotified (both by the characters in the film and by the film itself) in as memorable and disquieting a fashion as you could expect from the tragic tale of hot teenage rock ‘n’ roll twins.

And yes, of course they’re destined for disaster, as cinematic conjoined twins inevitably are. In honor of the film, we present the following survey of memorable (and mostly doomed) joined duos:

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"Sisters"

Margot Kidder plays French-Canadian model Danielle Breton in Brian De Palma‘s Hitchcock homage gone way weird, and in eerie and oddly affecting black and white flashbacks, she also embodies the secret Danielle has been unable to leave behind: Dominique, the twin she wasn’t surgically separated from until early adulthood.
Doomed? Well, there’s always got to be an evil twin, right?

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"The Bride With White Hair"

Francis Ng and Elaine Lui play the male and female halves of wicked cult leader Ji Wushuang — they’re joined at the back, but this doesn’t seem to interfere with their wire-enhanced fighting ability. Conjoined twins of different genders are an impossibility, but that’s hardly the least plausible aspect of Ronny Yu‘s very fun wuxia film.
Doomed? Clearly — they’re the bad guys, and you can’t mess with Brigitte Lin‘s hairstyle of doom.

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"Twin Falls Idaho"

Filmmakers Mark and Michael Polish are frighteningly good as Blake and Francis Falls in the brothers’ meditative debut, which manages a tone floating somewhere between melancholy, surreal and wistfully funny. Michele Hicks, who plays the prostitute who enters the brothers’ previously sealed-off lives and romances one of them as the other slowly nears death, is an unfortunate actress, but the Polish brothers are so compelling it’s hard to care.
Doomed? Only halfway, but it’s still pretty damn sad.

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"Three…Extremes"
Kyoko (Kyoko Hasegawa), the troubled novelist who’s the focus of Takashi Miike‘s "Box" segment, was once half of a pair of twins in the creepiest carnival act this side of Herk Harvey — possibly Siamese twins. Or was she? No, she was. Or was she?
Doomed? Who knows? We doubt Miike does — he seems to have tossed this visually arresting, incomprehensible short together just to justify the haunting (but baffling) final image.

07262006_twins1"Freaks"
Tod Browning cast real (famously so) conjoined twins Daisy and Violet Hilton in his controversial 1932 film to play, essentially, themselves. The Hilton sisters were vaudeville and sideshow veterans who’d been trained in singing and dancing from a young age by the woman who’d all but bought them from their mother — they’re referenced in "Brothers of the Head" and their lives clearly inspired part of the narrative.
Doomed? Actually, in the film they both prepare to get married (though they also both apparently like the sauce a little too much). In real life, they died of the flu in 1969, after having been abandoned by their manager at a drive-in in North Carolina with no means of transportation or income.

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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