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DID YOU READ

Here there be tygers.

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That Andy Serkis is gonna get typecast.
"We are not ready – are we? – for a movie in which Ms. Darrow contrives to give the ape a tasteful blow-job," David Thomson muses at the Independent, but he’s not addressing cinema’s long reluctance to delve into depictions of bestiality (and the film that goes there will have our full endorsement of being the first in a long time to actually merit the controversy it drums up), but rather attempting some kind of zeitgeist on how audiences, films and family movie-going have changed between "King Kong" the first and "King Kong" the second.

We may never hear the details, but if [Peter] Jackson left elements of authentic terror or adult sexual suggestiveness in his film, those will have been drained away to get the 12A rating. A little fright is OK, but the creative vision will have been tempered to the box office. One large reason why Jackson was personally paid $20m to do this Kong was because in "The Lord of the Rings" – full of dread, combat and potential horror (to say nothing of complex mystical urgings) – he delivered a film that children, parents and grandparents saw together, happily, congratulating each other on what is now a very rare thing – a family entertainment.

We’ve already added ourselves to the pile of "Kong" pushers, but we’d like to say that there are several moments in the film that would have scarred the shit out of our tender little pre-teen consciousness were we still a kid. Of course, that’s part of the appeal — we remember crouching behind the couch to avoid having to look at the whole new-approach-to-organ-donation scene in "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom," but, you know, we always stayed in the room.

Tied to no film in particular, Xan Brooks at the Guardian comes up with his list of top 50 family films, while Peter Bradshaw sees this as being a golden age for the genre.

Over in the Op-Ed section of the New York Times, Clive D. L. Wynne suggests that the whole thing is about bestiality after all, in the form of test of evolutionary theory. John Walsh at the Independent has some historical context for the original film, as well as background on its two co-directors/character inspirations, Merian C. Cooper and Ernest B. Schoedsack.

Joel Meadows at the London Times chats with writer Michael Moorcock, Weta workers Richard Taylor and Daniel Falconer, Ray Harryhausen and Andy Serkis about the appeal of the big ape, while Michael Phillips at the Chicago Tribune insists the film’s most impressive effects are the ones in which it restores New York City to its 1930s state.

And while we’re here and unfocused, we’d like to say that the Skull Island natives as interpreted by Peter Jackson are frightening, ghastly, and about as politically correct as the natives in the original film (they’re only a few steps removed from "Lord of the Rings"’ Urukai). Which is as they should be — this is, after all, the stuff of 30s adventure serials, not bearing any more resemblance to reality than a giant, anthropomorphized ape. But it almost seems like Jackson hedged his bets by dropping in scattered, not particularly helpful references to "Heart of Darkness" all over the first half, so that, were anyone to quibble in our more sensitive times, he could throw the Conrad novel at them and say "Bugger off, they’re a metaphor! Like Conrad! A metaphor! For…darkness! And humanity! And, um, darkness in humanity!"

+ Scary monsters – Can ‘family viewing’ ever be entirely innocent again? (Independent)
+ The best family films of all time (Guardian)
+ Let’s go to the pictures! (Guardian)
+ Kissing Cousins (NY Times)
+ The first (and original) King Kong (Independent)
+ The ape stays (London Times)
+ ‘King Kong’s’ secret weapon (Chicago Tribune)

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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