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DID YOU READ

Critical wobblings.

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"Would you believe it happened in 1973 and they talk about it like it was yesterday!"Ooh, FishbowlNY reports that Slate‘s David Edelstein is hopping over to New York magazine to take over from Ken Tucker as film critic (Tucker’s headed back to Entertainment Weekly). So much for high-minded talk of wanting to "exploit this here newfangled Internet medium"; we guess everyone really wants to appear in print (glossy print being extra gravy) after all (and also, we’re sure the pay is better). And actual, it looks like Edelstein’s work will be at least partially online only. But what we really want to know is…who’s going take his place? Ahem.

At the LA Times, Time magazine’s Richard Schickel reviews formerly of New York John Simon‘s recently published collected film, music, and theater criticism, and if that seems a little too industry navel-gazing ("Through the Navel, and What Richard Found There"), we understand. But Schickel raises some interesting points about reviews and their enduring (or not) readability:

[R]eviews are not essays, those lengthy and leisurely reflections on careers or themes aimed at an audience that has some knowledge of the subject at hand. Reviews, however gracefully written, whatever grander fantasies their authors may entertain, are a form of consumer guidance, written in haste, against deadlines and to space. Worse, the reviewer is always the prisoner of what’s on offer at the moment in his field. I would say, based on bitter experience, that well over half the time, he’s obliged to conjure up an opinion about stuff on which he would not normally care to spare an idle thought, let alone a thousand or more words. Confronting these three volumes, which total about 2,000 pages, at least half of which are devoted to (gratefully) forgotten ephemera, the reader can perhaps be forgiven for occasionally nodding, skimming or skipping.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t stop there. Ah, no:

Everywhere, reviewers who at least aspire to making sober, thoughtful judgments are being marginalized, with the moronic burble of television critics and Internet bloggers becoming the dominant force in the field. These creatures bring neither historical knowledge nor subtlety of taste to their task, and they have created the imbecile context in which it becomes increasingly pleasurable to read Simon.

Ha! We would tell him to fuck off, but we’re concerned that we have neither the erudition nor the context to correctly use the phrase. Good lord, for the days when we’ll be old and cranky enough to write off vast swaths in a few generalized, insulting phrases.

+ New York scoops up David Edelstein from Slate (FishbowlNY)
+ A critic’s choices (LA Times)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

Uncle-Buck

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…