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DID YOU READ

Controversy found.

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051605_battle_1Despite worries that Cannes 2005 would be a lukewarm stew of respectable types compared to last year’s bubbling Crock-Pot® of politics, the festival has managed to get a least a few people worked up of somethingerother. Before we get to that, though, we’d just like to point out that Mike D’Angelo’s Nerve.com festival blog (which we plucked off Greencine Daily) is surely the smartest, funniest of all festival dispatches out there (Manohla and Tony are fine, but not nearly as entertaining).

First off, Tommy Lee Jones‘s feature debut "The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada" has been disqualified from competition for the Camera d’Or, a prize for best first feature film, as according to festival rules it is not actually Jones’ debut — he directed "The Good Old Boys" for TV back in 1995. "Burials" remains in competition for the Palme d’Or. Also DQed for the same reasons: James Marsh‘s "The King" and Karin Albou‘s "La Petite Jérusalem."

Word on the Croisette Saturday was that Jones was the first to be disqualified, and then someone in his camp turned to online film database IMDb.com to point out the directing credits of the other two filmmakers. A spokesperson for Jones could not be reached.

We assume festival personnel has been so busy parsing journalists into mysterious badge castes that they didn’t get around to that essential minute or so of online research.

Meanwhile, according to Charlotte Higgins in the Guardian, Carlos Reygadas"Battle in Heaven" is a frontrunner for the Palme D’Or. The point of the film seems to be unappealing sexuality: it opens with a shot of a teenage girl giving a blow job (unsimulated, according to D’Angelo) to an obese older man, and goes on from there. At BBC News, Reygadas is quoted as saying his film is not pornographic: "Porn aims to sexually excite the viewer. That’s not what this is about." We can’t argue with that.

Apparently "Battle in Heaven" is not the only film whose sexual content has everyone hot and bothered. The Advocate has Kevin Bacon and Colin Firth talking about the various naughty things they do during Atom Egoyan‘s "Where the Truth Lies." The film, which seems to be garnering critical "eh"s from everyone, looks the decadent life of a 50s comedy team, and the pair’s fall from grace after a dead girl is found in their hotel room. Orgies and such abound, and according to Bacon at a Cannes press conference, "One of the things about this film is that when we’re having sex, we’re
naked, and that’s what kind of flips people out… It’s unfortunate that people find [two male nudes] so
disturbing. To me, the sex in this film is extremely appropriate."

+ Cannes 2005 (Nerve)
+ Tommy Lee Jones among Cannes disqualifications (Reuters)
+ Mexican sex story tipped for top prize (Guardian)
+ Director defends explicit movie (BBC)
+ Kevin Bacon and Colin Firth nonplussed by sex scenes (Advocate)

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…